Marlis describes herself as a “Gramma who loves technology and has a lot to say.” She blogs about whatever catches her interest: food, books, family and more. For AgingCare.com, she writes about the issues facing the elderly and her experiences caring for her husband, Charlie, who suffers from dementia.

Articles

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I haven't been away from Charlie for more than two hours at a time since July of 2013, but this caregiver needs a break.

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For Charlie and me, basic things like getting a haircut are now far from effortless. I can tell that our outings aren’t going to get any easier, and I’m worried about what the future holds.

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I just returned from ten days in Florida visiting my family. My get-away was surprisingly relaxing.

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My husband’s dementia keeps convincing him to turn down the thermostat, even though I tell him not to. He means well and I try to keep my patience, but troublesome dementia behaviors like these are still frustrating to deal with.

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The selective memory of those suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's disease can be baffling for caregivers. Here's how I cope with Charlie's memory slips.

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I had trouble learning how to ask for help when Charlie's dementia care became too much for me to handle.

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My husband with Alzheimer's hasn't showered in six weeks. The excuses for his refusal to bathe have become legendary. I hired a home health care worker to help with hygiene- here's how it went.

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Charlie's memories of flying in WWII are still fresh for him, yet he can't remember who his grandson is. When someone has dementia, their oldest memories often last the longest.

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Charlie just got a hearing aid, which he desperately needed, but I can't convince him to wear it.

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Charlie has developed serious dental problems, so now I have to decide which treatment he should get. Do I go for the costly surgery that lasts longer or the more affordable option that could break down in a few years?

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Caregiver Blog: Sometimes I get so frustrated when trying to talk with my husband with dementia that I end up ignoring him and reading a book. I don't want to hurt him, but there comes a point when I just can't take it anymore.

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Caring for my husband with dementia is complicated by his drinking. Charlie drinks wine to drown his sorrows, making his dementia worse and causing him to fall. But things have changed for the better since I decided to put my foot down.

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A dementia patient's idiosyncrasies can be rather puzzling. As caregivers, we must learn to go with the flow and pick our battles carefully.

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My husband's dementia confused brain has allowed for some new strategies in tackling the alcohol use in our household. It is a daily struggle.

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After one stint of my husband refusing to bathe for six weeks, I finally admitted to myself and his VA doctor that I needed some help at home. This is our incredible experience with the VA’s home-based care programs.

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Charlie recently fell ill, but we had a difficult time determining what was wrong. Our team from the Home-Based VA Care Program was punctual, determined, and considerate throughout the entire process, and for that I am grateful.

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Charlie has been having some more health issues lately, which landed him in the hospital. We still aren't sure what's wrong, but the VA medical team has been proactive and thorough with administering tests and potential treatments.

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Charlie has been in the hospital for a couple of weeks with endocarditis. This ordeal was complicated further by his dementia, causing intense confusion and hallucinations. Only time will tell if his mental state will improve along with his health.

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Since my husband's hospitalization, the amount of care he requires has become overwhelming. Providing home care myself is no longer a viable option, and deciding what path to pursue next was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.

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After only a few weeks with his daughter, Charlie is now back home. Although he is happy to be back, providing all of his care without the VA's help has been a challenge for me. I feel for caregivers who have limited or no help on this journey.

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