Ralph Robbins
Certified Financial Planner
Ralph S. Robbins, CFP©, is a licensed Certified Financial Planning Practitioner and an Accredited VA Claims Agent specializing in Eldercare Financial Planning. He works everyday helping families in crisis find creative ways to fund long-term care expenses and deal with family financial issues.
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Question
What are the best daily exercises for elderly?
My father's doctor always said: "Sun on the head". By that he meant talk a nice walk everyday. I've also noticed that... My father's doctor always said: "Sun on the head". By that he meant talk a nice walk everyday.
I've also noticed that for some reason many elderly take a liking to chair yoga (as opposed to chair exercises). Who knew!?! see more
I've also noticed that for some reason many elderly take a liking to chair yoga (as opposed to chair exercises). Who knew!?! see more
Question
I Understand that there is government money paid to a family care giver and that it is $12/hr. How do I get st...
Hi Party and welcome... Help from public programs that pay a caregiver to care for a family member may be available to you depending on... Hi Party and welcome...
Help from public programs that pay a caregiver to care for a family member may be available to you depending on your loved one's state of residence, eligibility for Title XIX programs such as Medicaid, and whether or not you are caring for a veteran.
Many states have a federal Medicaid waiver program called "Cash and Counseling" which allows the recipient to pay a family member for care. Your state may also have a state funded similar program. The VA offers a special pension to qualifying veterans called "Aid and Attendance". This, too, can be used to pay a family member for care.
You will find more details about these programs on this site. Check under the heading "Money and Legal". And feel free to ask any specific questions you like. There is a great group of experts and posters here sharing their experiences. see more
Help from public programs that pay a caregiver to care for a family member may be available to you depending on your loved one's state of residence, eligibility for Title XIX programs such as Medicaid, and whether or not you are caring for a veteran.
Many states have a federal Medicaid waiver program called "Cash and Counseling" which allows the recipient to pay a family member for care. Your state may also have a state funded similar program. The VA offers a special pension to qualifying veterans called "Aid and Attendance". This, too, can be used to pay a family member for care.
You will find more details about these programs on this site. Check under the heading "Money and Legal". And feel free to ask any specific questions you like. There is a great group of experts and posters here sharing their experiences. see more
Question
What resources are available for financial assistance?
Welcome Readywriter2... On this site you will find descriptions of programs that may be available. Look under the heading "Money and... Welcome Readywriter2...
On this site you will find descriptions of programs that may be available. Look under the heading "Money and Legal".
If you can be more specific about your family's situation there are great experts and posters here to help. Let us know what's up. see more
On this site you will find descriptions of programs that may be available. Look under the heading "Money and Legal".
If you can be more specific about your family's situation there are great experts and posters here to help. Let us know what's up. see more
Question
My mother has several major illnesses, and she needs hospice. The hospice providers said she would have to dro...
Hi Pcall... Correct me if I am wrong but I am going to assume that "her Partners Advantage" is a Medicare Advantage plan under... Hi Pcall...
Correct me if I am wrong but I am going to assume that "her Partners Advantage" is a Medicare Advantage plan under Medicare Part C. If this is indeed the case your mother does not have Original Medicare which permits her to go to any doctor or hospital (or hospice) that accepts Medicare.
Instead, her Medicare benefits are being provided by a corporate entity that is paid a monthly capitation to provide almost all of her Medicare benefits including Medicare hospice services.
Most Part C Medicare Advantage plans contract with a limited number of ancillary service providers such as hospice. It is likely the hospice provider you have selected is not contracted with Partners Advantage which provides your mother's Medicare benefits.
You have the following options:
The first thing to do is contact Partners Advantage and ask them if there are participating hospice providers that she can choose from.
If you a partial to the hospice provider that told you she has to drop her Medicare plan she can do that. Beware, however, that she will be back on Original Medicare with no supplemental insurance. She will be responsible for deductibles and co-pays which can become exorbitant.
Fortunately, she can avoid this two ways: First, since it is not yet March 31st, she can switch to another Part C Medicare Advantage plan that may be contracted with that hospice. You can do this by contacting the hospice provider and asking them who they participate with and then switch to that plan by calling the plan or Medicare. After March 31st she will not be able to do this again until January 1st of next year.
Or, if she elects to go back to Original Medicare she can avoid deductibles and co-pays by purchasing a Medicare supplement. This may be difficult to do in your state due to the fact that she has pre-existing conditions, but there are usually one or two carriers, including AARP, that are guaranteed issue.
Lastly, there is Medicaid hospice. If mom is virtually impoverished anyway, you might consider applying for Medicaid. Medicare would be her primary so she could use any hospice facility that accepts Medicare and Medicaid will pick up the co-pays and deductibles.
Good luck... see more
Correct me if I am wrong but I am going to assume that "her Partners Advantage" is a Medicare Advantage plan under Medicare Part C. If this is indeed the case your mother does not have Original Medicare which permits her to go to any doctor or hospital (or hospice) that accepts Medicare.
Instead, her Medicare benefits are being provided by a corporate entity that is paid a monthly capitation to provide almost all of her Medicare benefits including Medicare hospice services.
Most Part C Medicare Advantage plans contract with a limited number of ancillary service providers such as hospice. It is likely the hospice provider you have selected is not contracted with Partners Advantage which provides your mother's Medicare benefits.
You have the following options:
The first thing to do is contact Partners Advantage and ask them if there are participating hospice providers that she can choose from.
If you a partial to the hospice provider that told you she has to drop her Medicare plan she can do that. Beware, however, that she will be back on Original Medicare with no supplemental insurance. She will be responsible for deductibles and co-pays which can become exorbitant.
Fortunately, she can avoid this two ways: First, since it is not yet March 31st, she can switch to another Part C Medicare Advantage plan that may be contracted with that hospice. You can do this by contacting the hospice provider and asking them who they participate with and then switch to that plan by calling the plan or Medicare. After March 31st she will not be able to do this again until January 1st of next year.
Or, if she elects to go back to Original Medicare she can avoid deductibles and co-pays by purchasing a Medicare supplement. This may be difficult to do in your state due to the fact that she has pre-existing conditions, but there are usually one or two carriers, including AARP, that are guaranteed issue.
Lastly, there is Medicaid hospice. If mom is virtually impoverished anyway, you might consider applying for Medicaid. Medicare would be her primary so she could use any hospice facility that accepts Medicare and Medicaid will pick up the co-pays and deductibles.
Good luck... see more
Question
If my mother and I are co-owners of a cooperative apartment in NY and she is the primary residence, is the pro...
Something occurred to me...this is a co-op, right? Some co-ops do not have deeds. You are actually a shareholder in the property instead.... Something occurred to me...this is a co-op, right? Some co-ops do not have deeds. You are actually a shareholder in the property instead. If that is the case then whatever I said above about deeds would not be applicable. Everything else with respect to gifting and penalties still applies as I stated. From an estate planning point of view shares should still be held or titled so as to avoid probate. see more
Question
How can I get some respite from taking care of my mother at home?
Sleeping and dementia is really challenging. My dad, 82, 5 years with Alz, used to stay up for all hours keeping my mom and caregivers... Sleeping and dementia is really challenging. My dad, 82, 5 years with Alz, used to stay up for all hours keeping my mom and caregivers constantly exhausted. We found that getting him on and keeping him on a routine really helped...including getting him up and out as much as possible. In fact it seems my mom's main mission for the past few years has been social director; constantly trying to find things for him to do to keep him stimulated. This seems to make the evenings easier to deal with in general.
As mentioned, medication management has been crucial. Things were going well for a long time then recently, of all things, he started hitting himself in the head at night keeping everyone awake again. This seems to be the way it goes with most dementia, plateaus where it seems as things are ok for a while, maybe you will perceive they are even better, and they they begin to decline again to another level of plateau.
By the way, what makes you say she won't qualify for Medicaid (I presume you mean financially, not medically)? If she can't afford adequate home care and doesn't YET qualify for Medicaid it means she is somewhere in between. If so, then I would strongly urge you to explore Medicaid planning now. It may be very possible to qualify her for Medicaid home and community based services immediately while preserving remaining assets for her benefit.
Doing so will afford you more options which you will certainly need as you move along the continuum of care with your mom. I have found that the local Area Agency on Aging is a great place to find respite and other resources.
By the way, if her husband was a veteran she may be eligible for up to about $1,000 per month for care. Search for "veterans aid and attendance" see more
As mentioned, medication management has been crucial. Things were going well for a long time then recently, of all things, he started hitting himself in the head at night keeping everyone awake again. This seems to be the way it goes with most dementia, plateaus where it seems as things are ok for a while, maybe you will perceive they are even better, and they they begin to decline again to another level of plateau.
By the way, what makes you say she won't qualify for Medicaid (I presume you mean financially, not medically)? If she can't afford adequate home care and doesn't YET qualify for Medicaid it means she is somewhere in between. If so, then I would strongly urge you to explore Medicaid planning now. It may be very possible to qualify her for Medicaid home and community based services immediately while preserving remaining assets for her benefit.
Doing so will afford you more options which you will certainly need as you move along the continuum of care with your mom. I have found that the local Area Agency on Aging is a great place to find respite and other resources.
By the way, if her husband was a veteran she may be eligible for up to about $1,000 per month for care. Search for "veterans aid and attendance" see more
Question
My sister stole my dad's money. What can I do about it?
Your facts are pretty simple and afford a simple answer with another question: Why not? But I suspect there is more to this case. I'm... Your facts are pretty simple and afford a simple answer with another question: Why not? But I suspect there is more to this case. I'm curious what made you ask the question...what is it that you are concerned with? see more
Question
My widowed mother with Alzheimer's refuses to give Power of Attorney to a family member. What can I do?
If there is a diagnosis of Alzheimer's you are probably past the point of having a Durable Power of Attorney executed in that one must... If there is a diagnosis of Alzheimer's you are probably past the point of having a Durable Power of Attorney executed in that one must be mentally competent to grant such powers.
A saving grace may be if she has revocable living trust that is funded with her manageable assets and names you as successor trustee in the event of her incapacity but I'm guessing you would know if that were in place.
In this instance there is generally no other alternative than to go to court and have a guardian named. If you go this route I would do some very careful homework first to find out if your jurisdiction is friendly to family guardians vs. corporate guardians. Sometimes its a particular judge. You don't want to go to court and come out finding that a guardian has been appointed, and its not you! see more
A saving grace may be if she has revocable living trust that is funded with her manageable assets and names you as successor trustee in the event of her incapacity but I'm guessing you would know if that were in place.
In this instance there is generally no other alternative than to go to court and have a guardian named. If you go this route I would do some very careful homework first to find out if your jurisdiction is friendly to family guardians vs. corporate guardians. Sometimes its a particular judge. You don't want to go to court and come out finding that a guardian has been appointed, and its not you! see more
Question
What documentation does my mother need to bring the Veterans office that proves she is her ex-husband's caregi...
"Countable income", technically known as "Income for VA Purposes" or "IVAP" is based on the claimants GROSS... "Countable income", technically known as "Income for VA Purposes" or "IVAP" is based on the claimants GROSS income less qualifying unreimbursed medical expenses (including the cost of care) after a small deductible.
And yes, everything needs to be documented. Absent canceled checks and/or receipts, and guessing a written agreement was not executed, write up a statement similar to this:
I (name of careprovider) received $ (total amount paid in 2009) from (name of claimant) in the year 2009. I assisted (name of claimant) in his activities of daily living, specifically (list ...ie bathing, dressing, etc.) These fees were paid in cash (check).
I will continue to receive $____ per month for my care giving services in 2009.
signed by caregiver
signed by claimant
date.
This has worked in the past...no guarantees! And for goodness sake, start getting things documented properly, now.
If dad's claim is successful he is going to be audited a year from now and they are going to want to see evidence of all expenses. If they don't have it together, dad will lose whatever he gained. see more
And yes, everything needs to be documented. Absent canceled checks and/or receipts, and guessing a written agreement was not executed, write up a statement similar to this:
I (name of careprovider) received $ (total amount paid in 2009) from (name of claimant) in the year 2009. I assisted (name of claimant) in his activities of daily living, specifically (list ...ie bathing, dressing, etc.) These fees were paid in cash (check).
I will continue to receive $____ per month for my care giving services in 2009.
signed by caregiver
signed by claimant
date.
This has worked in the past...no guarantees! And for goodness sake, start getting things documented properly, now.
If dad's claim is successful he is going to be audited a year from now and they are going to want to see evidence of all expenses. If they don't have it together, dad will lose whatever he gained. see more
Question
Is there any assistance I can get to help my dad pay his rent in a mobile home park?
As Carol suggested, the best place to start would be you local county Area Agency on Aging. They are a clearinghouse for resources and may... As Carol suggested, the best place to start would be you local county Area Agency on Aging. They are a clearinghouse for resources and may be of great help in matching your dad with services available at the state, county, and even city level.
Is your father a veteran? If so look on this site or do a search for a benefit called "non-service connected basic pension". This may provide him with thousands of tax-free dollars per year.
Medicaid may also be a good possibility as all of his medical would be paid for (including his Part B premium of $96/m) freeing up money to be spent otherwise.
Rent, utility, food, and transportation assistance should all be available to him if he qualifies. see more
Is your father a veteran? If so look on this site or do a search for a benefit called "non-service connected basic pension". This may provide him with thousands of tax-free dollars per year.
Medicaid may also be a good possibility as all of his medical would be paid for (including his Part B premium of $96/m) freeing up money to be spent otherwise.
Rent, utility, food, and transportation assistance should all be available to him if he qualifies. see more
Question
My mom refuses to give me Power of Attorney, but she cannot mange her money and is constantly forgetting to pa...
Giving up financial decision making and control is extremely difficult for some elders and it is certainly understandable. Having a DPOA,... Giving up financial decision making and control is extremely difficult for some elders and it is certainly understandable. Having a DPOA, as I am sure you know, is one of...let me strike that and say it is THE most important document a caregiver (and for that matter, a care recipient) can have.
It is not just a matter of paying bills. If mom is not able to handle any of her financial affairs, including applying for public benefits, creating other financial arrangements such as trusts, or entering into contracts, the DPOA will operate.
Without this power, and if mom's capacity continues to diminish, you will at some point have to go to court and attempt to have yourself appointed her guardian. This does not always happen. A judge could just as easily appoint a professional guardian which means the appointment of a lawyer as well which means good-bye to mom's money.
It may be possible to explain this to her or it may not be. But she has to understand that if you don't have the DPOA her care and well being may become the responsibility of a complete stranger. Now how would she feel about that?
There is a possibility she may not believe you. In that case I would pay the $300 to have a lawyer come to the house and explain it. Better yet. Go to the office. It looks more official and it may (or may not) impress her (in terms of the gravity of the situation).
In the meantime, offer to help her set things up on automatic payment. Virtually all of her recurring expenses can be set up on automatic bank draft so you would really only have to look over her shoulder once or twice per month.
Similarly, you could set up electronic banking so you can keep an eye on her accounts without being intrusive.
Now that I think of it, this is probably the way to start to reduce the conflict. Then a little later move to a discussion about the DPOA, perhaps in another context like "mom, we need to do this so I can protect the house" or something like that (wish I could be more creative on this but it's been a loooooong day). see more
It is not just a matter of paying bills. If mom is not able to handle any of her financial affairs, including applying for public benefits, creating other financial arrangements such as trusts, or entering into contracts, the DPOA will operate.
Without this power, and if mom's capacity continues to diminish, you will at some point have to go to court and attempt to have yourself appointed her guardian. This does not always happen. A judge could just as easily appoint a professional guardian which means the appointment of a lawyer as well which means good-bye to mom's money.
It may be possible to explain this to her or it may not be. But she has to understand that if you don't have the DPOA her care and well being may become the responsibility of a complete stranger. Now how would she feel about that?
There is a possibility she may not believe you. In that case I would pay the $300 to have a lawyer come to the house and explain it. Better yet. Go to the office. It looks more official and it may (or may not) impress her (in terms of the gravity of the situation).
In the meantime, offer to help her set things up on automatic payment. Virtually all of her recurring expenses can be set up on automatic bank draft so you would really only have to look over her shoulder once or twice per month.
Similarly, you could set up electronic banking so you can keep an eye on her accounts without being intrusive.
Now that I think of it, this is probably the way to start to reduce the conflict. Then a little later move to a discussion about the DPOA, perhaps in another context like "mom, we need to do this so I can protect the house" or something like that (wish I could be more creative on this but it's been a loooooong day). see more
Question
What is a last will and testament?
Your state trooper friend is not so off base when he speaks of approaching the judge. More accurately, however, you will be communicating... Your state trooper friend is not so off base when he speaks of approaching the judge. More accurately, however, you will be communicating with the judges clerk. Some jurisdictions are very pro se friendly and will guide you as to obtaining what you desire.
You have quite the mess on your hands in that here you are trying to do the best for your parents as a unit and yet you have all of these competing interests. I wonder why you were and are not now mom's guardian? Don't really need to know the answer but I do know that if it were me I would petition the court to be re-appointed her guardian. Between her attorney and her guardian there will be no money left to take care of her.
Speaking of money. If you are contemplating Medicaid benefits for either or both then testamentary documents will have to be redrawn so they each disinherit the other. (This is one of the reasons I would really like for you to become mom's guardian as well. Many states have "elective share" rights where the spouse, even if disinherited, has the right to pursue a portion of marital assets. If an attorney and/or guardian other than your dad's is representing mom's interests they may be legally compelled to go after the elective share regardless of the impact on dad.)
Ultimately, you are going to have to come up with a plan and have it approved by the judge. If it were me I would do two things. First, attempt to have myself appointed as guardian for both parents pointing out to the judge your competency, the untenability of the current situation, and your concern over the dissipation of resources (in that order!).
As far as gifting is concerned, nothing should be leaving your parents possession at this point in time as you are correct in that all gifts will affect Medicaid eligibility. Even though they have separate representation they are still married and subject to the rules as such.
If your sister continues in pursuit of these items it will be incumbent upon you to protect your dad's interests by notifying mom's guardian and/or the court. see more
You have quite the mess on your hands in that here you are trying to do the best for your parents as a unit and yet you have all of these competing interests. I wonder why you were and are not now mom's guardian? Don't really need to know the answer but I do know that if it were me I would petition the court to be re-appointed her guardian. Between her attorney and her guardian there will be no money left to take care of her.
Speaking of money. If you are contemplating Medicaid benefits for either or both then testamentary documents will have to be redrawn so they each disinherit the other. (This is one of the reasons I would really like for you to become mom's guardian as well. Many states have "elective share" rights where the spouse, even if disinherited, has the right to pursue a portion of marital assets. If an attorney and/or guardian other than your dad's is representing mom's interests they may be legally compelled to go after the elective share regardless of the impact on dad.)
Ultimately, you are going to have to come up with a plan and have it approved by the judge. If it were me I would do two things. First, attempt to have myself appointed as guardian for both parents pointing out to the judge your competency, the untenability of the current situation, and your concern over the dissipation of resources (in that order!).
As far as gifting is concerned, nothing should be leaving your parents possession at this point in time as you are correct in that all gifts will affect Medicaid eligibility. Even though they have separate representation they are still married and subject to the rules as such.
If your sister continues in pursuit of these items it will be incumbent upon you to protect your dad's interests by notifying mom's guardian and/or the court. see more
Question
It seems that my oldest sibling is not concerned about our mom, but rather her house, money and insurance poli...
Although it is certainly not all she should be concerned with, your sibling is correct in her worry about finances and the cost of a... Although it is certainly not all she should be concerned with, your sibling is correct in her worry about finances and the cost of a continuum of care for your mom (if that is her motivation).
Before running to an attorney which can get very expensive, take a look at the documents mom how has in place. The most important thing to look for will be a Durable Power of Attorney. This document allows your mom to give someone else the right to handle her affairs.
If she has not yet prepared such a document, and is still mentally competent, this will be the first order of business. Here is a tip: do not under any circumstances encourage her to name you AND a sibling as attorneys-in-fact. If you and you sibling have to agree on everything it will simply be an ongoing battle. She will have to choose one of you to handle her affairs in the event she is unable to.
If this is not done now then at some point one of you (or a third party) will have to go to court to obtain guardianship. You will regret it if this is the course of action you are compelled to take.
A look at her documents will also tell you who the owners and beneficiaries of life insurance policies are and if bank and/or brokerage accounts are titled solely in her name or joint with another and how the house is titled.
Once you have this information you can determine who is legally responsible for what, who has control of assets, and who can make decisions going forward. see more
Before running to an attorney which can get very expensive, take a look at the documents mom how has in place. The most important thing to look for will be a Durable Power of Attorney. This document allows your mom to give someone else the right to handle her affairs.
If she has not yet prepared such a document, and is still mentally competent, this will be the first order of business. Here is a tip: do not under any circumstances encourage her to name you AND a sibling as attorneys-in-fact. If you and you sibling have to agree on everything it will simply be an ongoing battle. She will have to choose one of you to handle her affairs in the event she is unable to.
If this is not done now then at some point one of you (or a third party) will have to go to court to obtain guardianship. You will regret it if this is the course of action you are compelled to take.
A look at her documents will also tell you who the owners and beneficiaries of life insurance policies are and if bank and/or brokerage accounts are titled solely in her name or joint with another and how the house is titled.
Once you have this information you can determine who is legally responsible for what, who has control of assets, and who can make decisions going forward. see more
Question
If my mother and I are co-owners of a cooperative apartment in NY and she is the primary residence, is the pro...
Given that the transfer occurred 14 years ago there should be no issue if the deed reflects same. Since you are considering such issues may... Given that the transfer occurred 14 years ago there should be no issue if the deed reflects same.
Since you are considering such issues may I suggest, unless there is a compelling reason not to, that you title the property so it will avoid probate (and other assets mom owns as well).
Do a search for "enhanced life estate deed" or "putting property in a living trust". Make sure you are looking for NY specific information because you don't want to give up any primary residence property tax exemptions you may be entitled to. see more
Since you are considering such issues may I suggest, unless there is a compelling reason not to, that you title the property so it will avoid probate (and other assets mom owns as well).
Do a search for "enhanced life estate deed" or "putting property in a living trust". Make sure you are looking for NY specific information because you don't want to give up any primary residence property tax exemptions you may be entitled to. see more
Question
My sister stole my dad's money. What can I do about it?
Ann... I am sorry if you felt my comments were judgmental or hurtful. It was certainly not my intent. I contribute to this board to share... Ann...
I am sorry if you felt my comments were judgmental or hurtful. It was certainly not my intent. I contribute to this board to share my experiences not only as a "professional" who works with families in crisis everyday, but as the son to my soon to be 82 year old father who has been afflicted with Alzheimer's for the past 5 years. I am satisfied in that I have contributed much information to these forums for which I have received appreciative feedback.
If my language at times reads forcefully it is because it is my intent. The problem sometimes with boards such as these is that misinformation is perpetuated and readers come away with impressions that are not accurate.
So, for instance, when I read over and over again comments or questions about Medicaid "taking a home" or "going after money" I feel it important to firmly dispel such notions.
Similarly, I addressed this issue with you specifically because if I am not mistaken I noticed you had repeated it in several posts. Of course you are not the only one and where others have stated such opinion I have let mine be known as well.
I did not intend to self-promote. It was just the parlance. I could just have easily said "If an attorney recommended..." or "If an advisor recommended...", or "If a social worker recommended..." and if I were sitting here really crafting my phrases I may have thought of that so thank you for pointing it out.
Lastly, I want to apologize again to you and to any other reader who may have taken offense. The last thing I would ever want to do is make someone feel as though they have been disrespected. I agree completely this should be a safe and welcome place for us share and learn.
Thank you, Ann, for taking the time to let me know how you feel and what I could have done differently. see more
I am sorry if you felt my comments were judgmental or hurtful. It was certainly not my intent. I contribute to this board to share my experiences not only as a "professional" who works with families in crisis everyday, but as the son to my soon to be 82 year old father who has been afflicted with Alzheimer's for the past 5 years. I am satisfied in that I have contributed much information to these forums for which I have received appreciative feedback.
If my language at times reads forcefully it is because it is my intent. The problem sometimes with boards such as these is that misinformation is perpetuated and readers come away with impressions that are not accurate.
So, for instance, when I read over and over again comments or questions about Medicaid "taking a home" or "going after money" I feel it important to firmly dispel such notions.
Similarly, I addressed this issue with you specifically because if I am not mistaken I noticed you had repeated it in several posts. Of course you are not the only one and where others have stated such opinion I have let mine be known as well.
I did not intend to self-promote. It was just the parlance. I could just have easily said "If an attorney recommended..." or "If an advisor recommended...", or "If a social worker recommended..." and if I were sitting here really crafting my phrases I may have thought of that so thank you for pointing it out.
Lastly, I want to apologize again to you and to any other reader who may have taken offense. The last thing I would ever want to do is make someone feel as though they have been disrespected. I agree completely this should be a safe and welcome place for us share and learn.
Thank you, Ann, for taking the time to let me know how you feel and what I could have done differently. see more
Question
My siblings are taking me to court for "mishandling" my parents money. What should I do?
As Carol said, if you did the best you could and can prove it then you should not have any problem and I would not lose any sleep over it. ... As Carol said, if you did the best you could and can prove it then you should not have any problem and I would not lose any sleep over it.
By "prove it" I don't mean that you have notarized copies in triplicate of every bill you ever paid for them, I mean did you keep "reasonable" accounting records that indicate how you responsibly spent their money.
If so, certainly no worries in that your siblings can run and scream and jump and shout but they will not find an attorney to take such a case and if they decide to sue pro se it will be tossed in a heartbeat as soon as you show the judge your records.
I'm sorry you have to experience this. It is pitifully common as I am sure you are finding as you peruse these forums.
Wanna have some fun? Tell your sibs that you spoke to the best family law attorney in the state who is the father of a friend and he told you that they have no standing and that you should tell them to "bring it on!!". (and just for some more punch, tell them that in MN if you file a frivolous lawsuit you have to pay 10x court costs and can be subject to prosecution for a misdemeanor...even though you and I have no idea if this is true!).
Mind you I am telling you this providing that you did indeed perform admirably...ok, well at least with a modicum of competency....
We are all so quick to run to attorneys. Sometimes it is warranted, sometimes not, but it always costs money. You really have nothing to worry about unless a summons arrives at the door.
You are hero! Don't cower to others weaknesses! see more
By "prove it" I don't mean that you have notarized copies in triplicate of every bill you ever paid for them, I mean did you keep "reasonable" accounting records that indicate how you responsibly spent their money.
If so, certainly no worries in that your siblings can run and scream and jump and shout but they will not find an attorney to take such a case and if they decide to sue pro se it will be tossed in a heartbeat as soon as you show the judge your records.
I'm sorry you have to experience this. It is pitifully common as I am sure you are finding as you peruse these forums.
Wanna have some fun? Tell your sibs that you spoke to the best family law attorney in the state who is the father of a friend and he told you that they have no standing and that you should tell them to "bring it on!!". (and just for some more punch, tell them that in MN if you file a frivolous lawsuit you have to pay 10x court costs and can be subject to prosecution for a misdemeanor...even though you and I have no idea if this is true!).
Mind you I am telling you this providing that you did indeed perform admirably...ok, well at least with a modicum of competency....
We are all so quick to run to attorneys. Sometimes it is warranted, sometimes not, but it always costs money. You really have nothing to worry about unless a summons arrives at the door.
You are hero! Don't cower to others weaknesses! see more
Question
Dad wants a divorce from his second wife. Can she get his social security benefits?
No, his wife is not entitled to his social security check. If they divorce, it is possible that a judge could order a portion of his... No, his wife is not entitled to his social security check. If they divorce, it is possible that a judge could order a portion of his income be paid to her as part of settlement, but it is very unlikely.
As his wife, however, she does have certain spousal rights. You are wise to get the power of attorney as soon as is possible. see more
As his wife, however, she does have certain spousal rights. You are wise to get the power of attorney as soon as is possible. see more
Question
How can we get home health care for my parents through Medicaid or Medicare if they live with my brother?
Medicare will be of little or no use since it only pays for intermittent, medically necessary, skilled care and your parents are in need of... Medicare will be of little or no use since it only pays for intermittent, medically necessary, skilled care and your parents are in need of custodial or at the very most, intermediate care.
In fact, no matter where you turn you will not find funding for 24/7 home care. Period.
You may be able to cobble together benefits from several sources, however, to make care at home manageable. For instance, is mom or dad a veteran? Benefits are available.
What state to you live in? Some states have Medicaid programs that provide some home health care when another caregiver is present.
Also, as Austin suggested above, contact the local Area Agency on Aging (sometimes called the Aging and Disability Resource Center) and inquire about state, county and even city benefits that may provide meals on wheels, transportation, respite care, and more.
As unbelievable as it may seem, sometimes it is cheaper for the couple to live in assisted living than at home...and more benefits are available in that environment. And it can be safer. And it can be more fun for them with social activity and no grandkids! (I sure wouldn't want to live with your brother and his family, would you? lol) Ever visited one? You should, many are really great.... see more
In fact, no matter where you turn you will not find funding for 24/7 home care. Period.
You may be able to cobble together benefits from several sources, however, to make care at home manageable. For instance, is mom or dad a veteran? Benefits are available.
What state to you live in? Some states have Medicaid programs that provide some home health care when another caregiver is present.
Also, as Austin suggested above, contact the local Area Agency on Aging (sometimes called the Aging and Disability Resource Center) and inquire about state, county and even city benefits that may provide meals on wheels, transportation, respite care, and more.
As unbelievable as it may seem, sometimes it is cheaper for the couple to live in assisted living than at home...and more benefits are available in that environment. And it can be safer. And it can be more fun for them with social activity and no grandkids! (I sure wouldn't want to live with your brother and his family, would you? lol) Ever visited one? You should, many are really great.... see more
Question
Where can I apply to receive financial assistance for caring for my 93-year-old aging parent?
This is indeed a very confusing journey. May I encourage you to call rather than just visit the website of your Area Agency on Aging? ... This is indeed a very confusing journey. May I encourage you to call rather than just visit the website of your Area Agency on Aging? They really do have terrific resources and people trained to help you. You just have to go for it!
Your mission to have dad at home is an enviable one but please do not think that it truly is the only answer. If may be that things will become very difficult in which case you AND dad may be better off with other arrangements.
That being said, is dad a vet? There are benefits available.
What state do you live in? Some states have Medicaid programs specifically for those who can be cared for at home with a family caregiver. These are called Medicaid Waiver or Medicaid Long-Term Care Diversion programs or Medicaid Home and Community Based Services.
The program you are referring to is probably one of these called "Cash and Counseling" and is not available in all states. If it is available you will be distressed to learn how small the amounts of recompense are and how difficult it is to get and maintain the benefit.
Also through the Agency on Aging you will be able to learn about other programs that help those on a limited budget available from the state, county, and even city, where you live. This would include things like meals on wheels, transportation, and respite care.
Its tough, but there are many who have slogged the path ahead of you...be sure take advantage of their experience when you can...good luck! see more
Your mission to have dad at home is an enviable one but please do not think that it truly is the only answer. If may be that things will become very difficult in which case you AND dad may be better off with other arrangements.
That being said, is dad a vet? There are benefits available.
What state do you live in? Some states have Medicaid programs specifically for those who can be cared for at home with a family caregiver. These are called Medicaid Waiver or Medicaid Long-Term Care Diversion programs or Medicaid Home and Community Based Services.
The program you are referring to is probably one of these called "Cash and Counseling" and is not available in all states. If it is available you will be distressed to learn how small the amounts of recompense are and how difficult it is to get and maintain the benefit.
Also through the Agency on Aging you will be able to learn about other programs that help those on a limited budget available from the state, county, and even city, where you live. This would include things like meals on wheels, transportation, and respite care.
Its tough, but there are many who have slogged the path ahead of you...be sure take advantage of their experience when you can...good luck! see more
$500,000.00 needs to be used, what is the best legal way?
I will add, however, that not knowing your familial situation or the state in which you live or the prognosis for your loved one makes a response pretty difficult.
"Hiding" or "Shielding" assets to qualify for Medicaid benefits can be illegal. What is often not recognized, however, is that there are at times very legitimate reasons for legal, ethical planning (disabled child, spouse at home receiving care, etc.) not the least of which is allowing the Medicaid recipient them self to have access to funds for those things that Medicaid will not provide.
The rules and regs spell out exactly what is permitted and what is not permitted when it comes to disposing of assets.
To answer your question directly, the best legal way is the way that makes the most sense for you family. It may mean simply spending down money on care, creating a personal service contract, transferring money to a trust of some form, planned gifting to family, or the purchase of income producing assets or annuity. Lot's of options. see more