My mom recently passed away in a hospice house. The nurses there were wonderful and were a huge help when the time came to say our final goodbye. She had COPD, pneumonia and mercer and while in the hospital for the last time decided she no longer wanted to fight the disease. She was just tired of it. Her doctor spent quite awhile questioning mom, making sure she understood what would happen when all the antibiotics were stopped and that she wouldn't feel pain or anxiety and I don't think she did. I just wish someone would have told us that within a short time she would be unconscious and not able to talk. It took a few days before she took her last breath and I'm so thankful we were with her. The nurses told us to keep talking to her because she could hear us but I just wish I'd known just how short our time was with her actually awake. There were so many things I wanted to make sure she knew. That's all I wanted to say. It's only been since June and some days are just really cruddy.
You are entitled to grieve deeply and you should. Then you find ways to honor her memory and celebrate the good times.