First let me say I love and respect my MIL very much - once a joyful, vibrant, fiercely independent woman, now 88 and ravaged by both physical and cognitive impairments - and I rage every day against the cruel hand that's been dealt to her. When I stood before the altar with her son 41 years ago neither of us ever imagined our relationship would come to this. That said....
I was helping her change for bed the other night. I asked, as I always do, if she needed to use the bathroom first. "No, I just went a few minutes ago." (which might actually have been two hours ago, but I went with it because that's how we roll these days) After locking the brakes on her wheelchair I helped her stand. Then as I reached behind her to start pulling her pants down in back I spied the tip of a green facecloth sticking out of the waistband. I figured it must have gotten tucked in there accidentally somehow....laundry static?? So without saying anything to her I just removed it and discreetly (so I thought) tossed it aside. "Oh", she pipes up, "I was using that because sometimes when I wet it goes right up my back. Why does it do that? I thought if I put something down there it would keep that from happening.....why do you think it does that?"
SO.....Caregiver Tip#6179: a facecloth strategically placed between a female caree's derrière and the rear panel of her Depend may serve as a "pee dam". Or not.