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Dear Donna,

After reading about your day, I know you have had enough. i didn't think they still had that silver cream for burns. I remember that stuff. I hope your son does better tomorrow. You deserve a break!!!or you may break!!!

And the dishwasher thing, I use to empty mine every night, not realizing my mom would stop it in mid cycle, so I would put dirty dishes away, they have to take them all back out and start all over again.

Hope you have a better tomorrow.

Love,
Marylynne
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wow I got home from work tonight( I work at walgreens in the pharmacy) and staarted reading your letters i feel so guilty every time a read one of your letters i feel so bad for you ladies, my life could be so much worse, my dad is up stairs and for the most part is self suffecient, i bring him food maybe 2 times a week, and tomorrow i will take him to the podiatrist to get his nails cut. i do his laundry 1 time a week and change the sheets other than that i try not to deal with him to much its better this way,so i have no right to complain , i wish there was something i could do to help each and every one of you, so i will say a pray for you to give you strength and take away your burdens. this sight is truly a belssing it is amazing how many people care for family members i see many of them at my work. We must al stick together and maybe we can change things for the better, and yes to the Walmart idea hey you can get your tires changed get supper and depends a haircut why not get your head examainded too. maybe not in 30 minutes like the tires but its a great idea, maybe i will go to my walmart and ask to put up sign for a meet and great for caretakers. wish all of you could come maybe some of you are in wisconsin, but please Dont ask me about BRET FARVE. he needs his head examined. all that money and hes still not happy. go figure.let him walk a day in your shoes retirement wont seem all that bad after that. haha have a noneventfull day some times its all we can ask for.
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Hi Donna, Marylynne, Ply, Sha, Judy, Kathy and anyone else I missed:

As I read the postings I realize that I see myself in all of you. What I mean by that is we all give too much, spread ourselves so thin, need to take better care of our needs first then give what we have to give instead of giving all we have to give and ending up with nothing much left for ourselves or of ourselves and then getting into a bad situation where we are either resentful, exhausted, frustrated, don't want to go on with life being so void, lethargic, energy-less, drained...having our core self drained to the point where there is nothing much left of us. That isn't right. Where did we learn this? Why do we do this? What is the payoff to us? There must be a reason we do this to ourselves...and it doesn't just extend to the caring of our parents...but also to the caring of everyone in our lives that mean anything to us. I can't quite put my finger on it but I want to discuss this further with a professional. It's almost as if our self worth, value, is tied in to doing for others, even if that means we are suffering from it. Do we believe that we must always be good and by being good that means we must care and love others over ourselves? Are we selfless? If we are selfless, why are we? I think we are do gooders. We want to be good people. Somewhere along the line we learned either from our parents/ourselves/society that if we are good people we would do this...we would do that..which equals we would do things that most people would not put up with. Somehow that must glorify us or something...put us in another category of people who are very good, loving, caring, compassionate, Special. Does that mean to be good, to be special we have always got to be giving to others even over ourselves? Doesn't make sense to me. Strange phenomenon. Anyways..moving on...Tell me what you all think.

Donna, smart thinking about funeral costs and spending down mom's money in case you need to put her in a facility. As far as mom being scared and lonely in your absence. To bad noone can stay with her sometimes. Also, it just worked out that way. You don't usually leave for that amount of time. My mother complains when I go out more then usual. But, I tell her things come up I don't usually go this much it just go in spurts. Parents have a hard time adjusting to differences in schedule etc. You are a nice friend, Donna and gf and daughter be sure to not get too overwhelmed...sounds like it's donna time. Time to step back and not take anything else on again more then you already have til you feel a bit more stable. I do that myself. In fact soon I will need time, feeling overwhelmed here. Did gfs birthday dinner celebration with 5 of us total. Ran around all day am til now..and it is around 2 am maybe? Planning dad's 85th birthday tomorrow. I am cooking as I write. Taking prednisone and can't sleep so working instead. Also because might have to go to Doctors with sister tomorrow. More drama tonight when I was gone. She phone husband and my mother and begged to move in with us. Said she can't read well and her motor skills are slowing way down. We think she is having panic/anxiety attacks. She reverts to acting like a young child who cannot take care of themselves. It is very sad, tragic, scary, and frustrating. She has a doctor follow up for an ER visit she had last weekend...Saturday. I didn't go into it with you guys here..just said she had drama. But apparently according to sister she almost drowned on the beach. She walked back to her bfs condo phoned the ambulance and was taking to hospital. We all agreed that it was dramatic...and not sure if she ever drowned..or if she did then she must have walked into the water. I phone the ER making sure she was okay but never went there. Instead I took my daughter shopping as planned...we had a day planned together. Then later that night went to that music concert thing. I felt so bad that I didn't go to my sister's side (advised by husband, daughter and even myself and mother) that to this day I still wonder that maybe I got so badly bitten because I should have been there with sister and that was my punishment or something. Anyways I am cooking everything I can now so that I can go to the doctors with sister tomorrow (she is being seen for neck and back pain as a result of near drowning). I am going to be frank with doctor and tell him what went on tonight...and ask him to refer her out for help..and ask him for tranquilizer or something...antianxiety..something to help her be able to cope and tolerate the move. Yes, we have an apartment for her that her ex fiancee is paying for 6 to 10 months..but we also have a woman age 40 who has never lived on her own..and has a lot of mental/emotional issues...I am afraid she is breaking down and that is a BIG stress on this whole family. Coupled with caring for an ungrateful mother (most of the time) and an altzheimer father. Between my sister and mother I have very little patience left and must be very careful of overwhelmingness. So, Donna I understand doing over yourself..I must balance it everyday. Just turned off the broth..it is actually almost 3 am.
Sha, my mother has always been this difficult in fact in some ways she was worse I just had been gone for about 20 years. I somehow have been able to teach or show her some of the ways that she does not make sense...(she gets conflictual about things based on her emotions)...and because of all the blasted counseling I went through..she is able to stay here with me. If I had not gone through renurturing myself etc with the counselor off and on for 10 years there is no way she could be living with me now. I constantly have to use what I learned..and it is very difficult. Sha...you are so funny about the mosquito..isn't it the way with us...think for sure that mosquito was meant to get us now that you have a bite!
Marylynne, how you feeling? Make that appt with counselor yet? Hope so..
Judy...how r u doing? How is Dad?
Cathy, Sha had good advice about taking son to see dad..etc. It is very hard to see them decline...you still will take care of dad Cathy, just differently now. You all still love him so...Remember, you are still taking care of him..there are different ways to take care of our parents..unfortunately things have changed..as they will for all of us. Take it day by day sweetie.

Well, better try and get a little rest now...and be ready for round 2...I have a feeling this is going to be a hell of a day. Sister has her doctor appt...my brother is moving all of my sister's big things into her apartment..and it's my dad's 85th birthday that I am cooking for..btw I don't have any of his gifts but one...Calgon or friends please take me awayyyyyyy....even to the funny farm where life is always beautiful...arrghhhhhhhhh grrrrrrrrrr...

Okay on a better note...now that I have screamed a bit...
I am grateful to have you all here for me. I am grateful that I get to take care of my parents. I am grateful that you all have your parents and do your best everyday whatever your best may be. I pray each and everyone of us learn how to love ourselves and our family and friends in balance..emotional, healthy balance and to know that we are GOOD and SPECIAL even if we never took care of another person again.

Love you all...
Wish me luck...gonna need it today
Cindi
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Judy, I hope your dad feels better today. Explaining to the Dr. is what I always have to do too. It seems that they are afraid of what the Dr. will do. My mom always says I didn't want the Dr. to know. Marylynne, u are right, so why are we here. Donna, I hope your day started out better today. My mom will take things from where I have them and the search begins! Sometimes she will remember and other times no. Miak, welcome. I wouldn't ask you about Favre, I am a Dallas Cowboys fan till the end. No offense lol. Cindi, u are so right. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we always try to please others and leave us for the end? By that time, there is usually nothing left for us. Everyone have a good day and God bless each and everyone of us.
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Dad is uncomfortable with the stint but not as bad as before with the stone. Doctor says 3/4 of the stone still there will have to do the lithotripsy again.
Why do we do this? I believe it is the way we were raised. I remember my parents saying something to me about taking care of them when they got old. We also don't want to be the assholes in the family because we would be dammed if we didn't do what we are doing.
Though my mother doesn't talk good about me she can't say anything bad either because those who know me would know different.
Ply, my mom tried to pull the don't tell the doctor thing and I blew her cover, when the dr. asked me how she was I told him I was told not to say. He explained to my mom that he was going to ask me anyway.
Donna your mom is full of drama. Is she fine when you return home? Then I would tell her she's a big girl and she doesn't need a babysitter.
I have been thinking alot about what our parents were doing at our age. Lets see I was 15, 30 years ago and my mom was my age 45. She would go shopping, out to dinner, visit the lady across the street, my dad was 65, retired, and would go out in the woods and cut trees down, would go out to dinner and visit his brother.
A simple life, the tough part was raising me. Their parents were gone along time ago. Big difference in our lives.
Cindi, hope everything goes well with sister.
Marylynne this ones for you :)
Miak, We hope at least you can learn how to make better choices from reading our postings. Its difficult sometimes when it comes to having to decide for others, you can't please everyone, unfortunately things don't usually get better with the elderly.
Sha hope you are havig a good day.
oxoxoox Judy
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Judy,

Its funny how you said what our parents would be doing at our age. I was 12 when my mom was 46. My grandmother lived by herself Monday thru Friday. My mom, called her maybe three times a day to check on her. On Saturday, my dad took her shopping all day, and then she stopped and picked up my grandmother. My grandmother would stay with us from Saturday night till Sunday afternoon and then we would take her home.

My mom says she took care of my grandmother 35 years. How? she did not live with us, she did not drive so she couldn't take her to the grocery, get prescriptions, go to dr's appts., etc. Her dad was dead. Don't get why I got stuck with this job.

I know why, because my mom was always super selfish.

Dr. Phil says, people pleasers are selfish. Because......we are pleasing to help appease something in ourselves. Do ya'll believe that. I would hate to think I am doing all of this out of pure selfishness.

Cindi, I have not been sleeping either, from taking that cymbalta.

Donna, Hope you hon, had a better day

Maria, Sha, Miak,

Love ya'll,
Marylynne
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yes i must learn to make better choices, but now i no longer try do things so my dad will love me, did that for years, then tried the well maybe he will like me, and that didnt work so now im at the im doing this for god stage and hope it works becasue after that what is there? the devil made me do it, and i dont really want to go to hell because my luck my dad and sister will be my cell mates. just kidding its gotten better since ive been seeing a counsler its really helped but it still make me so mad when i have to hear how Great my husband is. yes hes great and every good thing you could ask for but it just burns me that im the one washing out dads crap fill underpants and my husbands the saint. does any one else have this problem ? my dad doenst say it anymore but theres always the last part of that phrase says to me yours husbands great but you suck. thank for letting me get that off my chest. and ply its ok to be a dallas fan that your team and thats what it should be all about. oh and just so im not misundderstood about the walmart thing and getting "your" head examined i ment in general not specifically YOU. Beasuse if that was offered at wally world Id be first in line.to cindi please dont ever think that about the bites its not true because if it was then all the mean mothers and ungratefull fathers we hear about on this space would not have such good caring people taking care of them . They would be in a 3rd world countrys sitting in the dirt begging for scaps of food.Bad things dont happen to us because we didnt do something someone want us to do and we didnt . you got bitten1 becasue the mosquitos are wicked this year after all the rain and becasue your such a SWEET person. nothing to do with bad carma IF there was such a thing as bad carma my dad would be totally SCREWED haha. the things i could tell you he did in his life i could write a book about a police man that gave out tickets and then pocketed the money , cheated on his wife who then took out her frustrations on me. wow how did i get so far off track sorry. maybe i better make a second appointment with the shrink for this week haha. keep your heads up ladies thanks for being here for me. mia
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Mia,

Know what you mean about the sainted husband, but not from my parents, from everyone else. Everyone I talk to says, OH YOUR HUSBAND MUST BE A SAINT FOR PUTTING UP WITH YOU TAKING CARE OF YOUR PARENTS!!! Yes, he has had to go through alot with me taking care of my parents, but gave me hell about it every minute of the way, so How is he a saint? I just say Yes, he is a good man. And, he is, except for giving me hell about what I have to do. He has to do it now with his mother, he just was lucky enough for it just to have happened to her in the last few years. I've had it for way too many years. He should count his lucky starts that it waited this long to happen to him.

Love and Kisses
Marylynne
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mlv amen sister , id be so mad if some one said that hes a saint for putting up with me. i just say yea and the devil started out as an angel to and look where that got him. haha. see my problem is that yes my husband is a very good man doesnt drink or smoke doesnt go to bars or have bad friends he works 10 hours a day and loves his kids hes a great dad, my sister who is in her 60s i think has the hots for him i told this to a lady friend who sits my kids about my sister she said well i have the hots your husband too showed a picture to a co worker and she joked about him being her boyfriend it get it every where we go. and it drives me nuts and i know what your thinking like that a problem but it just me feel like less than. my dad would pick my husband over me any day if we ever got divorced my dad would kick me out and keep my husband. some time i think that would be great then i could run away lol but i know that my husband really loves me and i am very blessed but it took 1 bad marriage to appreciate how good i have. and yes marylynne sometime every one gives the one they love hell becasue they know we love them no matter what. we should go to sleep m you need to rest love and hugs
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Hi Cindi, Donna, Judy, Marylynne, Maria, Cathy and welcome Miak,
Cindi, you posed a question earlier that I have a one word answer for, at least in my case. You said, "Why do we do it?" I'll tell you why.....GUILT. Plain and simple. Our mothers have ingrained it into our heads that it is our job to care for them in there old age. They have managed to manipulate us into feeling guilty if we don't. I wish I had a penny for every time I heard my mother say, "I took care of you kids, and this is the thanks I get?" And BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Hey, I didn't ask to be born. You took on the responsibility of caring for me when you had me. Now you make me feel like I owe you. So, my dear ladies, that is why I do it....Guilt. I have totally been guilted into this. That, and the fact that no one else will step up to the plate. Are you kidding, my brothers would NEVER take her in. I offered my youngest brother my share of the inheretence to take her and he was like; "No fucking way". So there you have it,
1.) Guilt
2.) No one else wants to be stuck with them.
So here I am, Good ol' daughter, taking it all on. And as everyone already knows, it's always the daughters who get screwed. Sons can go and live their life, and throw Mom a few crumbs here and there and Mom never complains. But if daughter is not there at her beck and call, she's no God damn good. Am I right?
I hate my life.
Hope you all have a good day,
Love you,
Sha
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Morning Girls...
Will write more but just suffice it to say that yesterday was a day from hell not as bad but somewhat equal to one of the worse days in my life. My sister is in a mental health hospital seeking treatment. My brother, mom and I worked on her all day and with much suffering, frustration, turmoil, etc got her to agree to be admitted. This is actual a blessing. Needless to say Dad did not have much of an 85th birthday. I was gone from 7am til 5:30 pm working with my sister. Mom didn't feed dad lunch, she fed him breakfast late and I briefly came home to give him a change of clothes and his meds. Dog wasn't fed..etc. Was as if someone had died..life just stopped so we/I could intervene in my sister's behalf.

Sha, I was so distraught that I searched online about people pleasing. Got a few answers. Was not happy learning how I am still dysfunctional but at least I have more answers as to why my family life is so screwed up. People pleasers are raised...you are right. Also, it is a pattern that we are engaged in with our mothers. The pleaser and the ungrateful one. We must learn to require more for ourselves and retrain ourselves while still taking care of parents...what a job to undertake.

Love to you all...
bloodwork for dad today...visit sister, and take care of my needs..Hah! Oh yeah..mom too huh? (Mom the ungrateful one)...

Cindi
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Do you habitually give in to other people because you just can't stand the thought of upsetting them? Do you put your needs to one side because you get a buzz from someone else's happiness, only to find that he or she is not a bit grateful? If so, you are a classic "people pleaser," and you are, in all probability, not getting what you want out of life. It's time to shift the focus from others to yourself, and stop being a martyr.

Food for thought
Cindi
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People Pleasing - Having Trouble Saying No?
by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist, 2001

- originally published at BodyTalk Magazine.com, Aug. 2001




Do you have trouble saying NO? Do you do things for other people but almost never ask anybody to do things for you? You may be a people pleaser.

People pleasers think of other people’s needs before their own. They worry about what other people want, think, or need, and spend a lot of time doing things for others. They rarely do things for themselves, and feel guilty when they do. It’s hard being a people pleaser.

People pleasers hold back from saying what they really think or from asking for what they want if they think someone will be upset with them for it. Yet they often spend time with people who don’t consider their needs at all. In fact, people pleasers often feel driven to make insensitive or unhappy people feel better - even at the detriment to themselves.

Constantly trying to please other people is draining and many people pleasers feel anxious, worried, unhappy, and tired a lot of the time. They may not understand why no one does anything for them, when they do so much for others - but they often won’t ask for what they need.

A people pleaser may believe that if they ask someone for help and that person agrees, that person would be giving out of obligation, not because they really wanted to. The thinking goes - if they really wanted to help, they would have offered without my asking. This line of thinking happens because people pleasers themselves feel obliged to help, and do not always do things because they want to. Sadly, people pleasers have been taught that their worth depends on doing things for other people.

It’s painful being a people pleaser. People pleasers are not only very sensitive to other people’s feelings, and often take things personally, but they also rarely focus on themselves. When they do take a moment for themselves, they feel selfish, indulgent, and guilty which is why they are often on the go, rushing to get things done. Because people pleasers accomplish so much and are easy to get along with, they are often the first to be asked to do things - they are vulnerable to be being taken advantage of.

People pleasers were raised in homes where their needs and feelings were not valued, respected, or considered important. They were often expected as children to respond to or to take care of other people’s needs. Or they may have been silenced, neglected, or otherwise abused, thus learning that their feelings and needs were not important. In many cultures, girls are raised to be people pleasers - to think of others’ needs first, and to neglect their own. Many women have at least some degree of people pleasing in them. Men who identified with their mothers often do as well.

People pleasers’ focus is mostly on others and away from themselves. They often feel empty, or don’t know how they feel, what they think, or what they want for themselves. But it’s possible to change this pattern and to feel better about yourself.

There are many ways to reduce your tendency to please others. Here are some suggestions:

Practice saying NO. This is a very important word! Say it as often as you can, just to hear the word come out of your mouth. Say it out loud when you are alone. Practice phrases with NO in them, such as, "No, I can’t do that" or "No, I don’t want to go there".Try it for simple things first, then build your way up to harder situations.


Stop saying YES. Try to pause or take a breath before responding to someone’s request. You may want to answer requests with "I need to think about it first, I’ll get back to you" or "Let me check my schedule and call you back". Use any phrase that you feel comfortable with that gives you time before you automatically respond with YES.


Take small breaks, even if you feel guilty. You won’t always feel guilty, but most likely in the beginning you will.


Walk slowly; it’s part of slowing down your pace.


Discover what gives you pleasure, for example, reading magazines, watching videos, going to a park, and listening to music, and then give yourself permission to do those things.


Ask someone to help you with something. I know this is a hard one but you can do it!


Check in with how you feel and what you are thinking. It’s important to be aware of these things; they’re part of who you are. And then try saying what you feel and think more often.
Many people pleasers believe that nobody will like them if they stop doing things for other people. If someone stops liking you because you don’t do what they ask, then you’re being used by them and probably don’t want them as a friend anyway. People will like you for who you are and not simply for what you do. You deserve to take time to yourself, to say NO, and to take care of yourself without feeling guilty. It’s within your reach to change - one small step at a time!


Kali Munro, © 2001


More...Girls...Love you
Cindi
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Cindi, I'm glad your sister took that step. She's in a place where she can be helped. Sometimes no matter how much you love someone, you just can't help them. God Bless. I think it was the right thing.
As for the article you shared with us, I never read anything so true in my life. As a child, I was silenced. Do not complain, do not ask for anything, don't be silly. I was constantly frowned upon, made to feel like I was worthless. But guess who took Mom in? I guess it's a good thing she didn't drown me like she said she wanted to when I was born....where would she be now?
I'm so glad I have all of you to talk to.
Love,
Sha
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Cindi,

Good for your sister.

As for the article, it actually made me cry. You would be the one to find such an article. You are an eloquent lady and so very helpful. I am going to print this article and read it every day to myself, like a prayer.

Sha, Amen sister to the guilt thing that you wrote, you expressed everything I ever wanted to say.

Love you all,
Marylynne
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the article was mind blowing, I too was never heard when I was young, never taken seriously even now. Had a hard time saying "no" and now I am surprised when I do say "no"
I always put others first until 1996 when my husband left me and I took a good look at how run down I was and started a new me, we worked things out and have been better ever since. I do things that make me happy and show that I feel good about myself, I know my mom stopped doing for herself thats her problem.
Cindi, I hope that your sister gets the help she needs and sticks with it. Get some rest and celebrate Dad's birthday today. oxoxoxo Judy
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Cindi
I liked your post about being people pleasers. I was definitely not able to express myself in our home as I grew up. I was fortunate/unfortunate enough to be born an empath. That means that I am extremely sensitive to signals from other people. I can actually feel other peoples physical pain sometimes. That sounds crazy, but it is true. My Mom was always manic depressive or bipolar. And my Dad had been raised in a very cold home. So the general message I got was Mom has enough feeling for the whole family, so you need to keep yours to yourself. It felt like being told to ignore my broken arm because at least it wasnt cancer.

As a child, I often had to be the Mom, because my Mom was out of commission.Dad thought that females were supposed to wait on men, so from an early age, I was sent to do things like bring food or coffee to him. Even my health was not treated as important. My Dad was one of those people who gets mad at you for being sick, because they dont know how to cope with it. And Mom's attitude was always that since I was 20 years younger, I had to be 20 years better off than she was.

She still thinks that. It has taken my health getting really bad, to make me start valuing myself and cause me to be able to speak up and say, excuse me, I am not able to do what you want today.

And ironically, it is so that I can stick around to take care of my family longer.
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Cindi, how hard it must be for you but at least you don't have to worry about your sister. She will be taken care of and hopefully become a better person in the sense that u don't have to be worrying about her. Your article is so right. The thing is that I wasn't raised that way. I was a spoiled brat but I became very independent at a young age. My parents were migrant workers and I was left at home alone so I could go to school. All our neighbors kept an eye on me anyway. I never thought that my parents were mean for doing that. It is hard for me to ask for a favor. I ponder on it for a long time until I finally do it. I hate to depend on anybody. Now that I am in my 50s I sometimes ask for help but most of the things I do it on my own. It might take me a long time to do something but I still do it. Sha, it is horrible for your mom to say something like that. Even it was meant as a joke. My natural mother dried to suffocate me when I was born. She wouldn't open her legs. My mother was present at my birth and she says that she squeezed her legs tight but the midwife pried them open. I used to think that she was crazy for doing that but now that I am older and wiser,lol, I realized that it was very hard for her to give me up. Yes, she made a lot of wrong choices but who am I to judge her. She gave me to people that gave me a lot of love, no riches, but love is what counts. At least in my book. I just had a talk with my daughter and explained a lot of things that bother me. She agreed with me but who knows. If her boyfriend doesn't agree, she might take his side again. I also told her that the way they talk to me, is the way that I am going to talk to them. I am tired of their bullshit and yes, I have learned to say no. A long time ago. I guess that is why sometimes I am not liked by other people but like the article says, they don't like it, they don't belong in my life. I have never been worried about people liking me or not. As long as I like and love myself, that is all that matters. Marylynne, I don't agree with Dr. Phil. We don't do this because we want to feel better. We do this because we are stuck with doing it. I take care of my mom because I love her, not because I want to feel a void in my life. I have taken care of many people in more than 30 yrs but that was the profession i chose. I loved doing it even it was hard sometimes. I fell in love with many a patient because of the way they were and others I disliked but my caring for them didn't change. Don't think that I take care of mom because of gratitude for adopting me or because I still need to take care of somebody. I take care of my animals too. I have a pitbull and my mom has a chiuahua. My pit thinks that she is the mom of that rat, lol. Have two cats and birds. I have always loved animals and my dad used to indulge me in that. I remember one time I found some baby rabbits and I wanted to bring them home. He put his foot down and said no. At the time I had two dogs and a cat. My dad showed me how to speak up for myself and I am grateful for that. My mother was the opposite and still is. I have learned to live with that. If she is right, ok then, if not, I will do as I think is right. By the way, I met my siblings in 1981 but from all of them, only the oldest one is in contact with me. The others ones don't speak to me and that is fine and dandy. I wasn't raised with them so I don't miss them. Have a good day everyone and take care. Maria
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hi everyone, cindi, thanks for sharing. I find that the article very much describes me. i was never important in fact called an idiot, or stupid all my childhood. I find myself reflecting on the way things were then, and wonder why on earth i would ever take care of this wicked old lady. !. she divorced my dad, who was my hero at a very young age. and never let me see him again. 2. she had my brother, who did not look like my dad, as i did, and he was the golden child. her thoughts were only of him. i was pushed aside. 3. She remarried. A Pedophile, who she turned me over to, and from the age of 8 was sexually molested by this monster. at age 10, he started penetrating me and did so at his every opportunity, until i left home at 16, also, beat me many many times, as i was a very defiant child.(with goodreason) How could a mother not know that her small daughter was being molested? and why would she not listen when i tried to tell her? the answer is, she just didnt care. I WAS UNIMPORTANT. yes and when i ever said anything about feeling bad, i was told and still am, wait til you get my age, you will fall apart. (in other words, you worthless thing, you are not very strong like i am.)
People pleaser? yes, i want people to like me. Yes, my entire life, i have tried to win her approval, and after 63 years, i find it is not important at all. all i really want is to punish her for the things she has done to me. Oh yes, i forgot to add that she stole my oldest son from me when he was 14 and never let him come back home to me. it was like a death, and i grieved terribly, but, she was uncaring then as she is now. I WANT TO BE FREE OF HER. IT IS TIME FOR HER TO GO.
cindi, glad to hear that sis is getting help needed. sounds like your life is as nasty as mine is sometimes. marylynne, dont you wish that you could jump off that bridge with sha? i do. love to all, Donna
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oh my God Donna, What a bad childhood my heart breaks for you, I will never campare my childhood to your yes my was bad but at least to my knowledge i was never molested. We all have a story, I am in contact with a person in hollywood about a making a movie about a little girl who had an abusive childhood and then movies back into that home to take care of the elderly dad, I told the writer that i didnt mind any changes he wanted to make only 1 thing i wanted was in the last seen i wanted the house to blow up, I wasnt sure if any body would want to see a movie like that but after hearing all your stories maybe at least maybe you ladies will see it . And to bitter sweet i laughted so loud about the inheritance thing that is the only reason any one else in the family does anything is becasue of that money. my self included sometime, but i am to the point that even 150 g's instnt worth it. no amount of moeny is. its like a net we got our selves in to and cant get out. the only escape is death and im not sure either his or mine . What scares me is even after his going will it truly be over or will i still be the same low self esteem people pleaser give till it hurts kinda person? i hope not. what would i kdo with out you ladies? i always lookforward to gettng email talk to you later. ps to ply my real name is also maria my bith parents were mygrant works, my mother tried to kill her self when she was pregnat with me so they had her put in a mental hospital and that is where iwas born. that may explain about my sence of humor. i was adopted by a german couple i was the thing that kept my nother busy while my dad was out screwing other woman, need less to say i was the person that got the brunt of my mothers anger , with she took out on me and small animals which she slaughter and made me help her . She would get mad at me and make me stay in the basementin the dark becasue i cried when she made me eat my pet rabbit. but again compaired to Donna i can only shake my head what mother could do to use what they did or allowed to happen to sweet little girls i would kill to save my child. maybe with us telling about our childhood we can figure out how to cope with the lives we lead, oh one last thing for donna are your taking care of your mother to punish her or your self. We have to figure out a way to stop the self punishment your deserve way better, have you read the book "bad childhood Good life" by Dr laura i read it every 6 months or so . it may help it did for me i know this may sound weird but you ladies are better to me than my own family and for this i love each and every on of you wish i could hug you and we could have a good ol cry and get all the old hurt out of our systems. talk to you later mia
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Donna and Mia,

These are the most horrible childhood stories I have ever heard. I hate that you were abused in the worse ways. I am crying as I read your posting that you could actually live through a childhood like this and still take care of such a horrid old witch. And Mia, I would see your movie and would love to see the house blow up.

Off the subject, taking my cymbalta 4 days now. I don't know if I feel anything yet, but almost had a blow up with Mom today and used maria or sha's advice, I don't remember which one said "do you really want to argue about this", and left it at that. Good advice, maybe I don't need the cymbalta, only need to listen to ya'll.

I did have a good childhood, except for mother having two nervous breakdowns. My father always told me to agree with everything my mom said to keep the peace. I blame him, not my mother for the situation I am in. He should have never told me that. I find me doing that to my own kids now just to keep the peace with my mother, I have to remember to let them speak their peace.

Love to all you girls with horrible childhoods,

Marylynne
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Donna, I can't imagine what u went thru but as a parent, I know. My 2nd husband abused my daughter from a previous marriage. I left him and my son was only 2 mths old. I made sure the sob went to prison. While there, the inmates tried to kill him and the only response I had was why didn't they finish the job. I can understand now why u have so much hatred toward your mother and I don't blame you. I would too. I myself would have a very hard time taking care of her. Well Mia, hello Maria. I guess we have quite a bit in common except for the abuse. I too have a weird sense of humor. All my friends say that but they still love me, lol. Marylynne, u have the option to change your life. Take care. Love, Maria
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Girls I wrote out a superlong entry to each of you and it get cancelled. I am so bummed and tired. I am sorry. Don't know if I can write again...maybe one entry at a time..

My heart broke reading the stories. Happy that the article touched and moved you all and that it acting as a catharsis for getting bad stuff out. Hope we all can heal from it.

Love to all
Cindi
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Home Articles Conscious Living Are You a People Pleaser, Sept 05

Are You a People Pleaser?
The Disease to Please
by Peggy Hammes
Do you have trouble saying no? Do you do things for other peoplebut almost never ask anybody to do things for you? You may be a people pleaser,someone who thinks of other people’s needs before her own. People pleasersworry about what other people want, spend a lot of time doing things for others,and rarely do things for themselves—or feel guilty when they do.

It’s hard being a people pleaser. These types hold back from sayingwhat they really think or want if they perceive someone will be upset withthem for it. Yet they often spend time with people who don’t considertheir needs at all. In fact, people pleasers often feel driven to make insensitiveor unhappy people feel better, even at a cost to their own well-being.

Constantly trying to please others is draining, and people pleasers oftenfeel anxious, unhappy, and tired. They may not understand why no one does anythingfor them when they do so much for others—yet they rarely ask for whatthey need.

A people pleaser may think that asking for help obligates someone to giveagainst his will. If he really wanted to help, thinks the people pleaser, hewould have offered without my asking. This line of reasoning comes about becausepeople pleasers themselves feel obliged to help—not always because theywant to. Sadly, people pleasers have been taught that their worth depends ondoing things for others.

People pleasers are very sensitive to other people’s feelings but rarelyfocus on themselves. When they do, feelings of guilt and selfishness result.People pleasers were often raised in homes where their needs and feelings werenot respected or considered important. As children, they were expected to takecare of other people’s needs, or they may have been neglected or otherwiseabused, thus learning that their needs were not important.

In many cultures, girls are raised to be people pleasers—to think ofothers’ needs first, and to neglect their own. Many women have at leastsome degree of people pleasing in them. Men who identified with their mothersoften do as well.

Focusing mostly on others, people pleasers often feel empty, or don’tknow how they feel, what they think, or what they want.

The disease to please is a potent way to distract yourself from feeling, amask that covers pain—usually extreme pain. It hides your feelings fromothers and from yourself. This very attempt to make yourself feel better putsyou in a constant state of tension, one that comes from trying to detect others’ emotionalstates and how to respond.

Fortunately, it is possible to change this pattern and reduce the tendencyto please others. Here are some suggestions.

• Practice saying no. This is a very important word! Say it as oftenas you can, just to hear the word come out of your mouth. Say it out loud whenyou are alone. Practice such phrases as “No, I can’t do that” or “No,I don’t want to go there.” Try it for simple things first, thenbuild your way up to harder situations.

• Stop saying yes. Remember to pause and take a breath before respondingto a request. You might say, “I need to think about it first—I’llget back to you” or “Let me check my schedule and call you back.” Useany phrase that you like that gives you time before you automatically respond.

• Take small breaks, even if you feel guilty.

• Walk slowly; it’s part of slowing down your pace.

• Discover what gives you pleasure—for example, reading magazines,going to a park, or listening to music—and then give yourself permissionto do them.

• Ask someone to help you with something. I know this is a hard one,but you can do it!

• Check in with how you feel and what you are thinking. Then try sayingwhat you feel and think more often.

Many people pleasers believe that nobody will like them if they stop doingthings for others. But if someone stops liking you because you don’tdo what they want, you probably don’t want them as a friend anyway. Peoplewill like you for who you are and not simply for what you do.

You deserve to take care of yourself, and it’s within your reach to change—onesmall step at a time.
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Marylynne

But despite the fleeting high of adulation, relentless praise-seeking exacts a heavy toll, warns Hap LeCrone, a psychologist in Waco, Texas. People-pleasers expend so much energy meeting others' needs that they lose sight of what they want from life. They're often seized by the disorienting feeling that they're not in control of their own lives, which leads them to lash out. "People please, please, please, please, and then they explode," says Earley—as when a woman who's catered to the needs of a self-centered partner for years finally goes ballistic and throws him out. "If you've been a pleaser for a long time, you're going to get more and more resentful of the person you're pleasing, and that can lead to passive-aggressive behavior," Earley says.
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I am upset to hear what some of you endured as a child, and I am sorry you had to live that way. I was an only child and my father would protect me from my mother's punishments. He was hit as a child and didn't want that for me. I was not spoiled, I took alot of abuse from other children. I was skinny, wore glasses, and didn't have the siblings like other kids had, I was a good target and didn't know how to fight my own battles. Til this day even though I have two sons of my own kids intimidate me.
It also took me along time as an adult to touch things in the stores. My mother slapped my hand when I was young and it stayed with me for along time. My mother thinks you should instill fear in children. I have raised my sons to be heard which my mother thinks is disrespectful. I tell her all the time just because your family did things a certain way doesn't mean it was right. I still believe in manners, values, respect and the law but the best standard is just knowing wrong from right. Everything follows us into adulthood but as an adult we can change what we feel needs to be changed. Like my Dad he could have been an abuser like his Dad but he changed that pattern.
My heart is with all of you, Judy
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Hey Girls,

Cindi, I was a pleaser. Being a daughter of an alcoholic father. I took on the responsiblity for everything. My brother's got in to drugs. They say you can go either way.
Man I hope one day I can just be responsible for me!

Mom did great with surgery, and is home and doing very well. I am very happy with everything so far.

Love to all!!!!!!
Susan Myers
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Cindi,

Your Earley says thing is right on the money. You are so very helpful and I love you.

Marylynne
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Sha,
My mother has said she should have drowned as when we were born too...or flush us down the toilet. Also, she has said if she is ever born again she will not have children. Where do these mothers learn this sh*t from? Scary. Thanks, Sha she is on her way...but long way to go..hopefully she will do as they say. Glad the article spoke to you

Cindi
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Marylynne, made me happy to know that the article moved you and you will keep it to use for the future. I know the tears are hard...recognizing one's deepest hurts is not easy. Thank you for your compliment....you have a way of making people feel good, Marylynne. Just glad I can help...(of course being the little people pleaser..laughing)

Love to you
Cindi
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