xrayjodib Posted December 2020
Advice vs opinion! Is there a difference?
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Great advice!!
I am very emotional and wear my heart on my sleeve. My hubby would tell ya that if emotions were a country, I would be China!! Lol
Knowledge is power!!
I learn something knew everytime I post!!
Thank you!!😊
Made ME think!
Maybe some folk, having been taught what to think, believe their thoughts are *The Truth*. They don't see them as opinion.
From the Oxford Dictionary;
Opinion:
a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.
Those folk then they give their advice based their opinions.
My SIL would dish out advice. I finally gave feedback that it was nicer to say "Have you tried..." rather then starting sentences with "You should.." It was still her opinion driving her advice, but offered politely rather then rammed at me.
Advice: is opinion or guidance or recommendations offered with regard to prudent future action. nothing requires first-hand knowledge.
Opinion is a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. But it can be based on fact or knowledge
I had a friend who used the old adage "There's YOUR truth, MY truth, and THE truth". At 78 years of age I have come to the "opinion" that THE TRUTH doesn't always exist either. It is all too nebulous and in the end it is all subjective, rather than objective. As nurses we were taught to understand the difference, especially in our charting. To chart only what our eyes SAW and our ears HEARD. None of this "Mr. X. is acting crazy today". Nope. It would look more like " Mr. X. is unable to work to television remote today." And no "Mr. X is very angry and confused by his inability to understand how to work the television remote". It would have to be "Mr X says 'this danged thing never works' and threw it across the room".
Some have a habit of posting experience, opinion, guesses, beliefs, as "truth". Then, if shown another opinion these people double down on their "truth". Whole articles have been written in the last four years about why arguing with such people causes then not to consider your argument in many cases, but to double down on their own "beliefs". When that happens there is no sense arguing at all; it only serves to make the person cement themselves into the corner they are in. (I wish I could learn that lesson).
The other thing we are often faced with is that we judge the "truth" of anything by the amount of "respect" (or NOT) we have for the person telling us something.
MsRandall's point also shows us that definitions are kind of like statistics. Search long enough and you kind make a definition say whatever you like. Things just aren't as black and white as we like to make them. They are more (sorry) shades of grey.
As my oncologist told me long ago "Cancer is anything but an exact science. But my patients want ANSWERS, so I give them to them."
.
In real life and likely here, I have strong beliefs, but I also love a good debate. When I question someone on why they believe something, it is not to convert them to my beliefs, but to try to understand why they believe in what they do. I have a friend with polar opposite beliefs on a great many subjects, we have the most wonderful debates, but are still friends and agree to disagree, while remaining friends.
Before coming to this post, I commented on a post about teeth grinding in a 90 year old. I mentioned my belief, that we tend to expect our elders to maintain our level of hygiene. I also asked the OP, why they were concerned about the teeth grinding. I also related my experience with my own Dad and his teeth. I had to step back, as Dad does not care about his teeth.
I also come to every discussion as a White woman living on the West Coast of Canada. My area of expertise is Financial Planning and Elder Planning. I am not a FP in the US, but I can suggest caregiver contracts, advise to meet with an elder care attorney especially when a new poster indicates that their family's actions my impact Medicaid eligibility in the future.
I also come to every post as a woman who suffered emotional, physical and financial abuse at the hands of her parents all her life. When I see a post that references emotional blackmail, "Dad made me promise on his deathbed to never put Mum in a facility.", my hackles rise. I understand being so desperate for a parent's affection that jeopardizing my life and future is the only option. Thank God for therapy, hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars later, I can say no.
But having said all that, I am offering words on a screen. People can do as they life with them.
I was attacked for one post. The person said ugly things about me. But you know what, that person does not know me, nor what I have lived through. They were reacting from a place I know nothing about too.
I agree completely. I too am able to have friendships with people who have different beliefs than I do.
It’s because we respect each other’s views but know what works for us doesn’t necessarily work for them and vice versa.
You approach a conversation with intelligence and heart. That’s a beautiful combination. I appreciate your intellect, honesty and compassion.
Thanks for your input!!
I did apologize in advance for paraphrasing.
My source was Webster's.
Best wishes!
I understand how advice is so easily interchangeable with opinion.
Perhaps the word I should have used instead of opinion is CONVICTION!!
When I revisit my original post, it's much more accurate to ask advice vs conviction! Is there a difference?
1) Ask your doctor
2) Ask an attorney
3) Ask a therapist
In reality, an expert: doctor, lawyer, therapist cannot legally (meaning within the guidelines of their expertise) give advice to someone who is not their client or patient. (so many will not "get" what I mean, apologies to you).
The point I am trying to make is, advice on this forum is mostly from lay people, like a neighbor, a friend, a sister. It is for informational use only. It is up to the OP to discern whether to take the advice, use the information, verify facts, etc. Support is given just by a fellow caregiver showing up. People make mistakes, disagree, and we are allowed!
Advice may be offered by professionals (or retired professionals) in a general sense (as in this is what is usual, customary, and reasonable), but they don't say: "Take two aspirin and call me in the morning" to someone on a forum. Because they are not that person's doctor. I am impressed by those who have had a professional career and share what they can on here, and still maintain the guidelines of their profession. They do that here.
However, there are too many criticisms of people putting themselves out there on behalf of others.
It has become the sock puppet's favorite pastimes, to follow us around and prove us wrong on everything said. Instead of speaking to the OP with an idea, or good advice of their own, posters are critics of the last thing said. As if they want to cause dissension, a fight, a disagreement.
Speak to the OP! Speak on the topic! Please don't judge another person's comment. Please do not say how great, or how stupid comments are! It is not appreciated. And please stop explaining other's posts, interpreting other's posts, it is infuriating.
I can understand how Jodi was irritated to have to stop and explain that her post was not directed at the person who confronted her.
So, Jodi...what was your real question?
How can we stop being irritated at some posters? Or, how can we stop some posters from irritating us? Just guessing here.
I think we can safely error on the side of assuming most people on here know better.
Here in the U.S. we already have received some advice like you have mentioned.
I think, feel, advise, or opine that you ask your own Prime Minister. 🤣
Jodi,
Your question is important.
My point was pretty much what you just posted.
We come here looking for advice and yes, sometimes opinions.
The irritation is when someone, for whatever reason, decides to go off topic and pushes their convictions on the OP.
Typically I ignore it, however in this instance there had been several replies from one person that were just flat out rude.
Not just to me, but to others as well!
What's the old saying?
"You can dish it out, but you can't take it!"
In a perfect world we would be at the very least empathic .
We don't live in a perfect world!.😔