I put my mother in an ALF in Feb. this year and she hasn't adjusted yet. She wants to move back with us and I can't take her back. She's too much to handle for me. She is 91 with dementia and in very much pain from hip surgery 3 yrs ago. I'm sure it's her dementia talking that they are mean to her, won't give her medicine for pain, don't talk to her. I found another lady wearing her blouse and now she's missing two pairs of pants. I told them I will wash her clothes and bedding. Now I have a big note on the door. She said the lady that showers her pulls her hair, tells her what to do. I'm at my wits end. I see her 3 times a weeks, I'm thinking of cutting back. Just venting. My brother's don't care. Bless you all.
The fact that your mom has lost so much weight, has a new sore, is uninterested in activities, and is on so much oxycodone is very concerning. It can get very overwhelming dealing with all of the issues of an aging parent.
You may want to find a geriatric care manager to help you address some of these issues and concerns:
http://www.caremanager.org/why-care-management/what-you-should-know/
And life goes on. Thanks everyone and have a wonderful day, week, month.