Adult caregivers to parents should be a choice, not an obligation decided by society, other siblings or the elderly parent. Many adults were raised by extremely disfunctional parents, which make them poor candidates for taking care of their elderly parents. They harbor a lot of anger by how they were raised which could lead to possible elder abuse. I am an adult incest survivor. Should I be forced into caring for that person in their elderly years? I don't think so! I despise my father for what he did to me and and to my pathetic mother who tells everyone it didn't happen. These type of people don't deserve the loving care of a child in their needy elderly years. Being cared for is a gift to be given to only those who deserve it!
You are obligated in no way to care for your parents. If you have other siblings trying to pressure you...NO is a powerful word. No explanation or guilty feelings. Please take care of yourself.
If you have not been in therapy, this might be a good time. A friend went through this and at age 55 she decided to get her head straight about all she put up with as a child. It made a tremendous difference in her life.
God bless!