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Dear Smeshque,

Yes, this is the part of life that we all hope we never had to go through, specially when it comes to our loved ones. Please know that prayers are with you, your family and your husband’s uncle’s soul. Remember he is finally resting. May that be the comfort you and your husband find, knowing that he is, after all the suffering, at peace and with our Father. Really no better place to be at the end of our path!
May God bless you very specially today, and through the following days which will be particularly hard. I’m sure your husband will find the perfect words to honor his life and the footprints he left in each one of you.
An specially warm hug! Keep up your faith and your hope, always!
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Thank you Rosses, My faith is what keeps me going. It brings me strength and courage. Thank you.

And the love and support from those here are a blessing to me.

God is good everyday, and everyday God is good!
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Dear Smeshque: Oh, I am so sorry to learn of DH's Uncle Gary's and Your uncle's passing. It saddens us when our loved ones leave this mortal world, but know that they have eternal rest with our Heavenly Father. Many prayers and hugs are sent your way from your friend in Maryland. I am sending many condolences on your two losses. It is comforting to know that they are close by, in your family plot.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18


17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
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GODISNOWHERE

How do you see the glass, half full or half empty?
DO you see GOD IS NO WHERE or do you see
GOD IS NOW HERE?



Thank you LL- I appreciate your care. We are doing ok. Took a day to rest our minds and bodies. Much needed. The Lord has revived our Spirits.
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I hope my fellow caregivers are doing well this evening. Having made it through the struggles of the day.




Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
John 14:6
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Smeshque: That was a wonderful analogy! I am always a "glass-half-full minded person," else one could get down in the dumps with depressive thoughts. I am very glad that you were able to get some restorative sleep and rest for the mind; it is so much needed for us to be able to move forward. "Yes, the struggles of the day - I was called in to my orthopedist early and had only 5 minutes to fly down the roadway."

5. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10)
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I have really been practicing living in the moment, and not rushing through it
It has really been helpful to me, with Mom. She loves to talk and tell stories of long ago, most of which I have heard over and over. But, I am practicing being more of an active listener, and I have never told her that i have already heard a story, bit always listened as if it was the first time I heard it. But now I am trying to really just enjoy her story and the joy that she feels in telling them. Before I would just go through the motions of listening but not really be listening because I already heard. But I am really trying.
My DH gave me encouragement with these words " If Mom doesn't know that you are frustrated, tired and sometimes heavy hearted, then you are doing a great job Loving her."
So, I just try and keep it that way. I want her to not have a care in the world. I know the life she has had, and I know the love she has given, especially to me. So I never want her to feel bad.
I don't care how much you love someone. It is hard being with them 24/7, so hard.
But, I never want her to feel that. I draw from childhood when I was probably so aggravating to her, I never knew it because she always made me feel love. That is all I want to return to her. But, she was/is definitely a much stronger person emotionally than I am, so I have to practice, practice, practice.
But I am determined to get this right with the Lord Almighty's help.
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Smeshque: That is a great story about listening to your mother tell the stories. I believe that that is where I struggled because my late mother did the same thing. To some extent, I believe all elders may repeat. YOU are doing far better than I did because now I long to hear those 1,001 stories just one more time!
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This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

Lamentations 3:21-26
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Will You Tie My Shoes When I Grow Old
You were beautiful,
my tiny child,
wrapped tightly in my arms,
close to my heart.
I listened to you breathing.
I counted your fingers
and your toes.
Helpless,
you cried out to me
and I loved you
with every ounce of my soul.

Will you hear me
when I cry out?
Will you hold me close
as I held you then?

I remember the day
You took your first step.
There was no stopping you.
Your feet gave you freedom
to explore the world
like never before
but danger lurked.
I opened those doors anyway,
cautiously,
and introduced
you to the world.
Where will you be
when my legs
no longer run?
no longer work?
Will you realize
that I love
freedom too?

I laugh
about that day
you first tied your shoe.
We tried and tried
to get that rabbit
in that hole
and you finally did it.
You pointed your toes
for everyone to see
how proud you were.

I am proud too,
of my writing
and my drawing,
of my needlework
and my cooking.
But my hands are beginning to ache
and my fingers will not bend.
I will lose the things
that make me proud
except for you.
Hopefully not you.
Will you let me
brag on you?
Even tell wild stories
that are a bit beyond the truth?
Will you be proud of me too?

I waved good-bye
that morning when you left
on that large, yellow bus.
I was so scared.
I know you were too.
You waved at me bravely
through the dusty window
but I saw the water
forming in your eyes.
You came home, however,
full of pride and joy.
You sang the alphabet song
and got most of it right.
You practiced for hours
until you could sing it
even in your sleep.

But
I'm afraid.
I forgot
whether I took
my pills today or not.
I forgot
if I told this story before.
I even forgot once
who you were
and it terrified me.
My mind
is my treasure
the only thing I have left,
and I heard you make
fun of me
for not remembering
that I gave you the
same gift as last year.
Will you love me
when I no longer
know who I am?

You came home blushing
from the glow of
your first kiss.
Your first love,
the one you thought was real.
You talked about him non-stop.
You changed for him. You gave.
But he left you anyway
for a blue-eyed girl
and I held you
while you cried for him.

I too have a
broken heart.
The love of my life
left me after
fifty-six years.
He left me here
to live life on my own
while he moved on
to another realm
And I cry for him too.
I long for his shoulder
and strong embrace.
I feel betrayed
because he and I
made a deal
that we would never
leave the other alone.
Yet I am alone
sitting in an echoing house
with no hands to hold.

You welcomed her home today-
your tiny baby girl.
She has your eyes
and possibly your toes.
I see you counting them
as they roll me
into the room.
You finally came
to visit.
It has been a while.

You look up at me
with tears in your eyes
and ask
almost desperately,

"Will she tie my
shoes
when I get old? "
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Oh Llama, that is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this!
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Yes Ll, that is beautiful and tear producing. Thank you for that
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Rosses and Smeshque: Oh, you're welcome! I am glad that you both liked the poem. Hugs.
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Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Isaiah 26:3
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I too struggle with this. I practive being present with my loved one totally while I am with him and when I am not I try and to be present for myself....taking in the beauty of a sunset, the warmth of a fire, making myself and actual meal. Staying grounded in the scripture and praise is a great comfort. You are not traveling this road alone I assure you.
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Snugglebear, your words are an encouragement. thank you, fellow traveler.


For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.
Psalms 84:11
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1 Corinthians 9:20-22. (NIV) Apostle Paul wrote:
20 To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21 To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.
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Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves; they will have no end of fun.

Blessed are those who can tell a mountain from a molehill; they will be saved a lot of bother.

Blessed are those who know how to relax without looking for excuses; they are on their way to becoming wise.

Blessed are those who are sane enough not to take themselves too seriously; they will be valued most by those about them.

Happy are you if you can take small things seriously and face serious things calmly; you will go far in life.

Happy are you if you can appreciate a smile and forget a frown; you will walk on the sunny side of the street.

Happy are you if you can be kind in understanding the attitudes of others even when the signs are unfavourable; you may be taken for a fool, but this is the price of charity.

Blessed are those who think before acting and pray before thinking; they will avoid many blunders.

Happy are you if you know how to hold your tongue and smile, even when people interrupt and contradict you or tread on your toes; the Gospel has begun to seep into your heart.

Above all, blessed are you who recognize the Lord in all whom you meet; the light of truth shines in your life for you have found true wisdom.
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Smeshque: Your post was genius!
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Ephesians 6:12:

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in heavenly places.

Here is a song to break up with fear:

Sick and tired of being sick and tired Had as much of you as I can take I'm so done, so over being afraid I've gone through the motions I've been back and forth I know that you're thinking you've heard this before I don't know how to say it So I'm just gonna say it, yeah Fear, you don't own me There ain't no room in this story And I ain't got time for you Telling me what I'm not Like you know me well guess what? I know who I am I know I'm strong And I am free Got my own identity So fear, you will never be welcome here Take a minute, let it settle in You probably never saw it coming Some thing's gotta give so I give up you, oh There's no room for you here Yeah, I've had enough The "No Vacancy" sign on my heart is lit up In case you didn't hear it Here it is again, Oh, fear, you don't own me There ain't no room in this story And I ain't got time for you Telling me what I'm not Like you know me well guess what? I know who I am I know I'm strong And I am free Got my own identity So fear, you will never be welcome here Is there anybody out there just like me? Anybody needing fear to leave? If you don't know how to say it Sing along with me Sing fear, you don't own me There ain't no room in this story And I ain't got time for you Telling me what I'm not Like you know me well guess what? I know who I am I know I'm strong, brave And I am free Got my own identity So fear, you will never be welcome here Whoa, goodbye, goodbye fear Whoa, you will never be welcome here Songwriters: Bart Millard / David Garcia / Francesca Battistelli

Heard it on the radio.....
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Psalms 1:1-6 KJV
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.
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Song is a christian song, meant to be understood by believer's in Christ.
The song is NOT meant for your boyfriend or husband.
It is addressed to FEAR.
The spirit of Fear.
The song is not to a person. It is a song about when fear, a natural human emotion, becomes our enemy. Because we take our eyes off Jesus, and listen to the lies from the enemy. Many will read it and think it is a good breakup song for their hubs or boyfriends. That may be, but it is a christian song, speaking to FEAR, the spirit of fear.
The fear that the enemy peddles to our minds. 

However, sometimes our own husbands are used by the enemy (satan, with a small "s"), when they use fear words to control us. It is then that we must speak truth against those lies. If we understand our true battle is not with humans, and instead, it is with the spirit of lies from the enemy, we can speak up against those words, instead of hating or accusing our husbands. Instead, we may say:
" Do not allow the enemy to use you." "By the power of the name of Jesus, I ask Him to rebuke those lies."

There was a song in 1964, sung by Leslie Gore, entitled "You don't own me".
That song was for a boyfriend. Lol.
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Send- Great song I love that song. I hear it on the radio too. I as well love your words, love them, and so true. Do you also know the song " Fear he is a liar"? Thank you for them. Fear is an ugly tool used by the enemy. But, we know there is NO fear in God.


LL- Mom, my Dh and I say that chapter every night together. We have it written in our hearts.
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"Fear, he is a liar", yes, by Zach Williams.
Zach Williams also sings:
"If you’ve been walking the same old road for miles and miles
If you’ve been hearing the same old voice tell the same old lies
If you’re trying to fill the same old holes inside
There’s a better life
There’s a better life
If you’ve got pain
He’s a pain taker
If you feel lost
He’s a way maker
If you need freedom or saving
He’s a prison-shaking Savior
If you’ve got chains
He’s a chain breaker
We’ve all search for the light of day in the dead of night
We’ve all found ourselves worn out from the same old fight
We’ve all run to things we know just ain’t right
And there’s a better life
There’s a better life
If you’ve got pain
He’s a pain taker
If you feel lost
He’s a way maker
If you need freedom or saving
He’s a prison-shaking Savior
If you’ve got chains
He’s a chain breaker
If you believe it
If you receive it
If you can feel it
Somebody testify
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Love that song too :)
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Smeshque: That is very special to recite it every night. Yes, I've memorized it, too.
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Yes LL- it is good to keep it in our forethought and heart. Helps when trying to maintain integrity and uprightness.
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I need to wash my hair
And take a shower
But here I sit
Enjoying this quiet hour
I need to put up Meds
And tidy up the room
But I cherish this time
To just be me
There will be plenty to do
Very soon
Right now I float
In this peaceful place
My mind has brought me to
Hard to let go
there is so much
I really need to do
My mind see saws
Back and forth
Of insulin shots
I need to give
Morning Meds and vitamins
Probiotics and other stuff
We need to live
Soon my hubby will be up
And need to start his day
With me assisting him
In each and every way
Making sure he doesn’t fall
While walking to his chair
Setting all his pillows
Before he sits down there
Making oatmeal and
A nice hot cup of coffee
Maybe a bottle of water
In case he starts coughing
Checking the swelling
In his ankles
Every morning
If they are swelling
I consider that a warning
As much as I’d love
To stay and chat
Now I must go
Get the important things done
Before my energy gets low
But I love to float
In this peaceful place
My mind brings me to
I see saw back and forth
So much yet to do
Theresa Loder
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Thank you Ll for that poem. The feelings of it are quite recognizable to many here on aging care.
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I have really been loving this song. If you can listen to it, you should. It has been my endurance song. In times I am feeling quite strained, I just sing it.

Morning, I see You in the sunrise every morning
It's like a picture that You've painted for me
A love letter in the sky
Story, I could've had a really different story
But You came down from heaven to restore me
Forever saved my life
Nobody loves me like You love me, Jesus
I stand in awe of Your amazing ways
I worship You as long as I am breathing
God, You are faithful and true
Nobody loves me like You
Mountains, You're breaking down the weight of all my mountains
Even when it feels like I'm surrounded
You never leave my side, oh oh oh
Nobody loves me like You love me, Jesus
I stand in awe of Your amazing ways
I worship You as long as I am breathing
God, You are faithful and true
Nobody loves me like You
Oh, what a song to sing
Oh, what a song to sing
Oh, what a song to sing
Oh, what a song (my heart keeps singing)
Oh, what a song to sing (what a song)
Oh, what a song to sing (I'll never stop)
Oh, what a song to sing
Jesus, You love me
And I love You, God
Nobody loves me like You love me, Jesus
I stand in awe of Your amazing ways
I worship You as long as I am breathing
God, I will worship You, forever worship You
Nobody loves me like You love me, Jesus
I stand in awe of Your amazing ways
I worship You as long as I am breathing
God, You are faithful and true
Nobody loves me like You
Nobody loves me like You love me, Jesus (I'm a child of God)
I stand in awe of Your amazing ways (yes, I am)
Nobody loves me like You
Nobody loves me like You

It is by Chris Tomlin
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