Is anyone else having a challenge of doing things scriptural, verses what the secular world says. As in scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first. I know what is right, just wondering if others may struggle with this. And how do we mourn the loss of ourselves without sinking into depression? How do we have joy in the midst of our trials and tribulations? It seems that as time passes my patience doesn't hurt as much, (must be experience), but still everyday I start wearing down where my patience begins to hurt a little and I am struggling not to let it be seen. I spend a lot of time in prayer and in the word, that is the only way I have the strength to do this, putting myself aside. But as a faulty human being, I am still in a struggle and seek like minded individuals who understand. May God bless all those who are loving their loved ones to the best of their ability.
Colossians 3:14
5 And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:
2 And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,
3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven
Put Jesus first.
The last post is AWESOME, I love it so and I will read it often as a reminder. Awesome, thank you. We get so caught up in the vanities of life sometimes, we so easily forget our true work,
“Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually.”
1 Chronicles 16:11
"I Am"
There's no space that His love can't reach
There's no place where we can't find peace
There's no end to Amazing Grace
Take me in with your arms spread wide
Take me in like an orphan child
Never let go, never leave my side
I am
Holding onto you
I am
Holding onto you
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am!
Love like this, Oh my God to find!
I am overwhelmed what a joy divine!
Love like this sets our hearts on fire!
[Chorus x2]
This is my Resurrection song
This is my Hallelujah come
This is why it's to you I run
There's no space that His love can't reach
There's no place where we can't find peace
There's no end to Amazing
I am
Holding on to you
I am
Holding on to you
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am
Holding on to you
I am
Holding on to you
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am
Holding on to you
I am
Holding on to you
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am!
I am
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am!
“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”
Mark 8:36
Blessed are they who understand
My faltering step and shaking hand.
Blessed are they who know my ears today
Must strain to hear the things they say.
Blessed are they who seem to know
My eyes are dim and my answers slow.
Blessed are they who look away
When my tea was spilled at the table today.
Blessed are they who with a cheery smile
Will stop to chat for a little while.
Blessed are they who never say
“You’ve told that story twice today.”
Blessed are they who know my ways
And bring back memories of yesterdays.
Blessed are they who ease the days
And care for me in loving ways.
Blessed are they who make it known
I’m loved, respected and not alone.
Author Unknown
Love can always conquer
Whatever discord brings
and love can also cover
a multitude of things.
Don’t you underestimate
what love can ever do,
for love is God eternal
and His love can renew.
What is cold and lifeless,
now lost all hope and died,
for love can breathe new meaning
and give it back new life.
Please don’t give up on love
when it seems that all is lost,
for there is always hope
if we’re prepared to pay the cost.
For love is always worth it
no matter how much the price,
for love will be much stronger
when we trust in Jesus Christ.
So let God have full reign,
let Him live within your heart
then you will know true love,
for this He will impart.
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
Everyday I find something new I need to learn or change about myself or a new weakness.
Learning and growing will always be needful. But I am willing.
I hope all my fellow carers are doing okay. You all are in my prayers as you deal with your own struggles.
Occupying.
A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:
Proverbs 1:5
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.”
Proverbs 9:10
Psalms 143:8
I remember a time when I was little, this man came to our house. He told my Mom, we have a place for him and we will take care of him and so on... She said, " I don't think so, this is my Son, God gave him to me to take care of, and that is what I am going to do."
He said to her well if you need to go on vacation we can house him and take care of him until you return. She laughed, she said, "He goes where we go, if we go camping, travel, to church, he goes, you need to leave.
Another time, I do not know if it was the same man or different cam and my Dad ran him off. My Mom was so mad at these people thinking she should allow them to take her son. I love her dearly.
I wish I could take all her sadness. But, I know it is hers to bear, I can only comfort and love her through these times.
We made it through the day, with much help and comfort from the Lord.
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
1 Corinthians 1:3-4
I just hope he doesn't disappoint her again.
I sure hope he keeps his word and comes this time.
I know you truly understand.
Some people are just so self centered and inconsiderate, to say the least.
But we will do our best to pick of those pieces should disappointment come.
I am just praying.
When someone says they are going to come by or call, then gives an excuse, or doesn't' t even call to cancel, and this is their routine, it hurts.
Someone in the family should set that brother straight. The many calls, changes in the time of arrival, then not coming at all is what hurts. Better not to call, better not to come at all.
Don't say it if you are not going to do it, imo.
But, It is hard to set him straight when he does not speak to me. I email him to call her on Birthdays and Mothers day and such. But we do not communicate otherwise. His choice.
As much of an irritation as it is for me, he is the only one of her other four children that speaks to her. As rare as that is, but nevertheless he does. When I remind(email) him to call her, he does and I am grateful for that.
He called her today, and told her he is still planning to be here Thursday morning. So I am hopeful. Usually when he is going to be a no show, he doesn't call her as much. So maybe he has had a change of heart we can hope and he will be here. She is so looking forward to it.
So we shall see.
So Smeshque I hope your brother doesn't disappoint your mom.
I feel like you, it would make me cry to disappoint her, too.
You are still a wonderful daughter. What love you have in that heart of yours. It is beautiful.
“The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.”
Psalms 103:8
He showed up. But even better than that, to my Mom's surprise he brought his 2 children, son and daughter (they are in their 30's) and the new great grand baby(nieces, daughter), and his new wife.
So she got to see her son, her daughter n law, her grandson, grand daughter, and never seen before great grand daughter.
What a wonderful day for her.
I am so thankful to the Lord for blessing her this day with such joy.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!
Calling all prayer warriors. Please pray for each and every care giver here, there are some that are enduring such hardships, emotionally and physically. And we all need that strength and support, that lies only in the Mighty Counselor.
I always add the Aging Care group to my prayer list Smeshque but it's good to be reminded to say special prayers for those who are really struggling.
I'll thank God for your mom's special visit today. Good for your brother.
Just read the OP to this thread for the first time, it's a deep and thoughtful question. I read several of the answers but not all of them, not yet. (But I will!)
Smesh, the Bible does say to "esteem others above ourselves," but we can't take just one Scripture and think we know all of what it means. We need to search the Scriptures, "here a little, there a little, line upon line, precept upon precept," to get a complete picture (Isa. 28:10).
When Jesus sent His disciples out, first the Twelve and later the Seventy, He sent them out two by two. He knew the task was too great for any one of them to do alone. While one was working, the other could rest, watch and pray. I think we could learn from that. Caregiving is an enormous task. Nobody can do it alone, and I don't think even God requires that. If possible, "esteem" the person doing it by providing rest for him/her and being their spiritual, physical and emotional support. If you ARE that person, see to it that you get that.
Second, Jesus said to His weary disciples, "Come ye yourselves apart and rest a while." Mark 6:31. In fact, rest is so important that it was the first gift God gave to mankind at Creation - immediately after making them "in His image, male and female" (Gen 1:27), and declaring His work "very good (v. 31)," He blessed the seventh day and hallowed it (Gen. 2:2) and gave it to humanity as a memorial of His creative power. He later asked us to "remember" it when it had been lost due to slavery (Exod. 20:8-11), and He assures us we will celebrate it in eternity (Isa. 66:23). That's how important rest is to God's children!
So we need partnership, support, and we need rest. We are told to love one another AS we love ourselves - which does not at all say that we are NOT to love and care for ourselves. In fact, if we don't love and care for ourselves, as others have said here, we certainly can't care for our sick and disabled loved ones.
I hope this helps. Bottom line: it is not only OKAY to take care of yourself, according to Scripture, it is good and needful! God bless, strengthen and guide you in your journey. 💖
LLama- thank you for your kind words. I have missed them here. :)
DH's Mom passed away last night. He was awaken this morning with the news delivered by his dear BIL. I am having a difficult time with this, as I want to be there for him and offer comfort and care as needed. However, it is not like when his Dad passed, he lost it, like when my Dad passed, I lost it. He was raised by his Dad and his Great grandma. He has seen his mom maybe 4 times in his 42 years of life. So, I am not sure what he is feeling. He said only, I feel bad for not feeling bad. I feel bad because both my birthparents are now gone. And then this evening after Mom went to bed we sat on the front porch. He talked abouther burial, as we will put her here in the family cemetary. And then he started talking about what he wants when his time comes, and he has never talked about that before. So, I am at a loss. How to be helpful and comforting and all. But he went on with his day as if nothing has happened. So, if anyone might have an understanding of what one feels if they are not close to their parents, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you for allowing me to have you all as a comfort.
Caregiving’s reward is the knowledge that you are doing the right thing. The biggest prizes are the love that you get, and the love that you get to give.
Your siblings may not thank or appreciate you. They may even grow resentful and distant. Stay the course. Do your best. You are not alone. There are many good people like you.
I don't know about being distant from my late parents. But I do know that I felt a large hole when my dad left this earth at age 50. You see, I was a very young 20 year old girl and I didn't get to "know" my dad, really, as I was not yet an adult. So that is one thing I can pass on to you - the lack of "knowing" one's parent as themself being an adult. I also know that my own DH had a very unsettling upbringing and that he doesn't care to talk about his late parents, since they did not show love to him nor his 5 siblings.
Love,
Llamalover47
You asked how a person might feel whose mother dies if they had not been close to her. I cannot, of course, speak for your DH, but only for myself. I was never close to my mother growing up, though I wanted to be, and I tried. Oh, how I tried! But there was no pleasing her, it seemed. I was the youngest of 4. Only many years later did I come to understand that alcohol and mental illness probably plagued her. But in my 40's, for the sake of my own children, I had to set boundaries that resulted in her cutting us out of her life. Basically, her alcohol was more important than her family.
She died some 20 years later, steadfastly refusing to make any changes that would effect a reconciliation. So I had lost her long before she died physically. I had already grieved that loss long before her actual death. In a way I had been grieving this lost relationship most of my life.
Why had she rejected me? What had I done wrong, or what was wrong with me? What could I do to fix it? Only as an adult could I realize the fault did not lie with me, and therefor there was nothing I could do to fix it. But even that knowledge could not take away the profound sadness that had permeated my life.
So how did I feel when she died? Just another sadness. A sadness for what should have, could have been, and was not.
How can you help your DH? Just let him know he is loved. Unconditionally. Point him to the Lord, whose love is not faulty, and is eternal. That is what comforts me. I wish you well, dear Smeshque, you and your DH.