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You're very welcome, dear Smeshque. Hope you all feel better.
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I have been out of agingcare for a while, and unfortunately I’m not too inspired today to be able to convey all the hope I wish I could, I’ll just tell you I will pray for the sweetness of our Lord’s love and mercy to cover each of us and help us overcome any physical, emotional or mental struggle.
He can do everything! Specially when we feel limited and hopeless.
And He loves us beyond words can ever explain. Hope we all find consolation and comfort in His endless love.
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Rosses: Good to have you back. It's okay to not feel like getting on to post - or sometimes even get through a day - I find. I push myself too much and then I'm done - exhausted. Prayers and hugs.
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Rosses- Your words convey more hope than you know. Thank you.
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Please Pray for one another.

Behold, God is mighty, and despiseth not any: he is mighty in strength and wisdom
Job 36:5
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Still getting over this head cold. I believe I am getting there. Mom has it now:( I hate to see her sick. She is fighting it though, so I am just praying it doesn't get as bad as I had it. DH is fine, which is great, because I can't handle all three of us being sick.
But even if you are sick around here, still work to do. I guess it keeps sickness from totally winning.
Been a rainy sort of day. But the veggies love the rain, and that means I don't have to water, so thank the Lord for the rain.
Hope all my fellow care givers are hanging in there.

May we all stand in the Gap!

And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none.
Therefore have I poured out mine indignation upon them; I have consumed them with the fire of my wrath: their own way have I recompensed upon their heads, saith the Lord GOD.
Ezekiel 22:30-31
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Mom was in bed most of the day, she is sick.:(
I know she is feeling bad when she stays in bed all day, because she is not one to do that. I have been giving her stuff for it and she is getting rest. So hoping she will feel some better tomorrow. but I know I am on day 8 and am still not fully 100%, but i am better.
I am just really hoping and praying she doesn't have to go through it that long.
We will see tomorrow how she is. It was so weird not having her all over the house, checking where I am what I am doing. But I probably drove her crazy checking on her every 30 minutes. Just making sure she didn't need anything. I ran to the store and got her some flowers, soup and some puzzle books. I just always feel so bad when she feels bad. (sigh)


“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” 
Ephesians 4:29
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Smeshque,

Glad you’re getting better, and for your mom try some ginger tea and some echinecea. Sometimes I feel as if regular meds don’t work for me, but echinecea does. When needed I take 4 pills per day, or more; thankfully you cannot overdose with echinecea. And I give my mom ginger tear every day to help her immune system.

Hope your mom recovers soon too. May God bless you all!
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The book of Genesis clearly states that God rested from all his work. It has also been well documented in the New Testiment that Jesus would go away alone to pray. You cannot pour into someone else with an empty cup.
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Smeshque: Oh, so sorry that mom is so ill and praying that she returns to well health. Btw, I love your new Avatar. Praying for rest for you, too!
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LLama- thank you you very much. And my avatar is a pic of my first iris this year.
Rosses- That is what I have been giving her ginger and  Echinacea. Along with some other herbs and minerals.

She is better today than yesterday. Not well but better. Now DH is getting sick. And I am not completely over it. Oh it is so not fun around here. I had to get all the grass mowed today.
I always wonder why when men get sick they can lay around until they feel better. But most women have to continue on as if they are not sick.
I just always wondered that.
Maybe I am just being fussy. Sorry.

Much love to you all.
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smeshque: You're very welcome! I love irises! Oh, I pray you all recover from that nasty cold soon. Prayers sent! You had to mow the grass when you're sick? Goodness gracious, dear! Get some rest! Yes, women rally - we could sometimes be on our last ounce of strength and we push through - though I am slowing down.
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Well Mom is feeling better. Yay!!! DH and I are better, YAY!! I would like to recommend elderberry syrup for cold and flu prevention. It is wonderful stuff. All natural.
I was talking to someone today about my Dad. How I miss him so much. But, what I learned is that I can now talk about him and smile, instead of cry. To me that is a sign that the cold grip of grief has been removed from my neck. I am finally seeing the sunshine and beginning to feel alive again. I will always miss my Dad and there will always be moments of tears. But, no more grief. I know he is resting at peace, no more pain nor tears, and I will see him again.
But it was only today that I recognized this. It only took almost 2 1/2 years to get through that process.
I see healing in my Mom too. She has always been so much stronger than I, emotionally. But I can tell by her eyes, what she is feeling and how she is. And I believe there is a dim glimmer that was lost when he passed. So I believe she too is healing.
You don't really think that grief would be such a long process, and I know for some the time can be many more years. But I just wanted to ensure others that with God's help you will get through it. Never over it really, just hurts less and less.
Just sharing.



And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them.
Revelation 14:13
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Dr. Martin Luther King said this in a 1957 sermon

Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, "Love your enemies." It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. That's why Jesus says, "Love your enemies." Because if you hate your enemies, you have no way to redeem and to transform your enemies. But if you love your enemies, you will discover that at the very root of love is the power of redemption. 

You just keep loving people and keep loving them, even though they're mistreating you. Here's the person who is a neighbor, and this person is doing something wrong to you and all of that. Just keep being friendly to that person. Keep loving them. Don't do anything to embarrass them. Just keep loving them, and they can't stand it too long. Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with bitterness because they're mad because you love them like that. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they'll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love they will break down under the load. 

That's love, you see. It is redemptive, and this is why Jesus says love. There's something about love that builds up and is creative. There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive


DH showed me this, and I just loved it so much I wanted to share.
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So tomorrow would have been my parents 64th Anniversary. I cannot imagine being with a person for 61 years and then being without them almost 3.
Since Dad passed we always try and make certain days, especially special for Mom. I was telling DH this evening as I cried, how I am the only one that can make her feel special now. None of the other kids care to. I was going to email brother that does talk to her here and there and ask him to call her tomorrow, as I have done evry year, and he does. But, I am not going to. I am going to just let him do it on his own if he is going to. Is that wrong?

We are going to take her to her favorite restaurant for lunch. Then we will bring DH home as he has some work to do. And Mom and I will go shopping. Then we will play some dominoes in the evening, her favorite game, Mexican train, I already have her a card and a bouquet of flowers to greet her when she wakes.
So I hope that will be a good day for her. We can't do a road trip at this time, because we are behind in work because of the rain. So I feel a little bad about that.


“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” 
Philippians 4:11
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No, I don't think that's wrong at all Smeshque.

I have a situation going on with my family now. My brother is in the hospital and I tried to get sibs involved more. It's truly a waste of time. It was the same when my mom was in hospital. Doing the right thing doesn't seem to matter to them. It's sad to know that about them all and yet they have to live with themselves. I've washed my hands of it.

Keep on doing what you know to be right Smeshque and let God deal with your sibs.
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Dear Smeshque,

I was reflecting on what a wonderful blessing each of your parents got having found a person that loved them literally til death did them part. And I am so glad it was the same for my parents. Of course it is heartbreaking and drastically life changing to have the person you love and who you have spent and lived life with for so long leave you all of the sudden, but on the other side of the coin is the great blessing to have found that someone that truly loves you..

I think you are an incredibly thoughtful daughter, and your mom knows it and that warms her heart more than you know.
As I believe I have said some time before she is a blessing in your life and you are a blessing in hers, your husband is an enhancement of that blessing!

As far as your brother I think your mom’s day will be brightened up by all you have planned; you have her covered in a way that the sadness that could prevail will be covered by the joy you will bring to her day.

Yet, if you feel that the phone call really makes a difference in your mom’s day. That she gets happy feeling her son remembers her and also the date of their anniversary, then I’d say call him to remind him. Because you don’t do it for him but for her. It doesn’t matter that you are dealing with someone that needs to be reminded to do something that should come from his heart; it doesn’t matter that you are the only one that cares and wants to make her feel loved and special; all that matters is that she indeed feels loved and special, and that you know in your heart that you are doing all you can to make a positive difference in her days.
We can certainly not change others nor put in someone’s heart feelings that they simply don’t have; you cannot make them understand things they simply don’t care about nor comprehend, All you can do is do your best.

Hope your mom enjoys all the blessings you have in store for her, starting with the blessing of having such a loving and thoughtful daughter!p. May God bless you greatly!
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I would say call and remind him. I am one of those people that simply does not remember anniversaries and birthdays. I know my twin brother's birthday and always text him. Did I mention he is my twin? And I remember my son's birthday because it is the day after Christmas. But my poor daughter was born in the middle of July. And every year in June sometime I think, my daughter's birthday is coming up... then about a week after her special day, I think, oh cr*p! I missed it again! And the thing is, I WAS THERE!! Lol! Birthdays and anniversaries simply don't compute for me. I love my daughter dearly. We text and talk often. I would love it if somebody would alert me and say, buy the girl a card on THIS date. Mail it on THIS date. I'm just date-ignorant.

I wish your mother -and you! - joy on her special day. And don't begrudge your poor brother for being date-blind. If he's like me he just can't help it. It's sorta like being color blind, I think. At least, that's what I tell myself! 😉
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I did go ahead and contact him and told him please call her today. He didn't call, he texted, but I guess it was better than nothing? Mom really didn't seem to care about the text, I think she thought why did he text? Anyway. it is not because he forgets dates and such, it is because he chooses to do or not. I prompt him because I love Mom and she misses her kids and grands so much,

Anyway, we took her to lunch and went to the city shopping and I think she was wore out from all of it, she said she would rather play scrabble than dominoes. and we played and she was ready for bed. It was a rainy day. But we made it through, and I had many times of dismissing myself from her presence and to have a little cry. Was feeling so many things today. sadness for her, and sadness because Dad was not here. Just when you think you are good to go, it hits you. But, I just try to do all the things I can for her that my Dad would have wanted to do. She had as good a day as possible, I believe and she had a couple of laughs and she was her normal self, so I think she is ok.

Desert your son and I share a birthdate. And DH birthday is in July, so I will try and remind you about your daughter in July. :)


Rosses- It was a true blessing they had each other for so long. Through thick and thin, Good times and bad. Not being together was never an option for them. I know she feels like half of her is gone. When he first passed she barely talked about him, she talked more about her own Dad. Now she is beginning to talk about things they did and stories of thier life. SO I think her heart is healing, will never again be whole, but healing.
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Smeshque, I think you did well reminding your brother. At the end of the day if nothing was gained, nothing was lost either. And now you know for next year that your mom really doesn’t ‘need’ his text, since he will not even call her. You did your best effort. And I’m so glad your mom is healing, that is another huge blessing,

I miss my dad so much, so I completely understand you; even after so many years have passed (unbelievably 13). But I have a hard to explain feeling that my dad is with me through this journey, from a place of peace, a peace we couldn’t comprehend even if we tried in our human condition. I know I am not explaining myself well, it is one of those things meant for the heart to understand, not the mind :)

I know you miss your dad, but I also think he is with you, walking along the way, along this the path of life with you and your mom.

Very glad the day accomplished what you were hoping for. A hug!
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Smesh, your heart is toward your mother, and you were so concerned that she have a good day; you are so giving and loving. But it was a difficult day for you too, my friend. I am glad you were able to slip away and cry when you needed to and get through it when you missed your Dad. It takes time to get used to new realities. Your mother is blessed to have you! Hugs and hugs to you!
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You are right. We don’t reconcile God’s way with the worlds way. They are on opposite sides. Ask your believing friends to come over and visit, ask your church to help out with things you don’t have time to do, Keep the worship music on day and night. Have the Bible study at your house, get the local news and use it to become a prayer warrior.ask God for a friend.
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Smeshque: Sending hugs to you & your mom.💙💜💛💚💜💛💚💜💛💚
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Thank you Llama- thank you.
Back at you ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
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I hope my aging care family had a good day. We had a good day of worship. One lady at church really talked a long time to Mom, I love it when that happens. I just sit quietly and thank the Lord someone is giving her social.

She is almost back to normal from being sick. She and I both have a little cough, but that too is going away.

“Unto thee, O LORD, do I lift up my soul.” 
Psalms 25:1
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Smeshque: Oh, praise God for the kindness shown your mom!
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Some days are just harder than others.

"Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."
Psalms 55:22
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Amen, Smeshque

Some weeks are brutal.


Psalms 3:4 I cried aloud to the LORD, and he answered me from his holy hill. Selah
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I don't think it's so much about putting yourself first as it is about taking good care of you so that you can take better care of others. See? Jesus had a habit of drifting away to a quite place now and then to take care of himself and he was the sinless son of God. Which I think teaches us that if we wish to minister to others as Jesus did we also need to understand that we must take the time we need to care for us. You can not fill a pitcher at an empty well.

It's not about putting you first it's about filling your well. Something else to remember is that putting others first can sometimes mean realizing that although you love someone you may not be called to provide them with 24/7 care. Sometimes a family member is simply not gifted with what is required to be a caregiver. Remember Martha and Mary? One called to serve one not called to serve but both doing what they were called to do.

God has a uniquely you, kind of plan for your life. If you believe that, then taking time to discover your personalized plan, claim it, and implement it is all you need do. It's been my life lesson that God reveals his plan for you, to you, and only to you. Others can provide counsel, input and prayers but in the end you're the one who will know deep down inside what is to be done.
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There is this sweet lady at church, who was heartbroken today. I just hugged her and hugged her. This is her first Mother's Day without her Mom. And she was trying so hard to be strong for her Dad. It broke my heart.

I wanted to say to all my fellow beings here that are now without their Mom. My heart breaks for you, and I send love and prayers your way. May God comfort you on all days, but especially the harder ones.
And to those also who have mourned losses of never being a Mother themselves. Just remember there is a reason for everything. Even the heartbreaks.
I love you all.

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
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