Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

Smeshque: I think that the soup and salad will be a lovely idea. I hope and pray that your momma has a lovely birthday - as she is a beloved lady!

I have just showered and am sitting down for a few minutes before trying to rest. Didnt even have time to ride my bike and I am so tired now.
Everything is ready for tomorrow.
I have the soups in crockpots slow cooking. I did, fiesta bean soup, cheddar broccoli, chili Verde and flour tortillas to wrap it in with cheese(i use to LOVE that), italian herb biscuits, pigs in blankets, will do salad in morning, and mom wanted sweet potato and pumpkin muffins so those are on the menu as well. I think that is all, but I am super tired to remember. :)
DH has been such a help today. He did all the yard work, in the rain for the most part, and the yard looks super, he ran to the store for me this night as I was on the verge of crying because I was decorating her cake and I needed another piping bag, so he ran and got what I needed while I did other things I needed to do, and then he helped hang the decorations.
So we are ready and I could not have gotten it all done without DH help this day.
I am sending AB to store in the morning for ice, I forgot or was actually too tired to pick some up.
Anyway, we will see how it goes. I am glad that I am getting to put my feet up at this time as I thought I would be up all night.

Thank all of you for your support.

“And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.” 
1 Corinthians 13:13

Smeshque, it sounds wonderful I hope that you and your mom have a wonderful time as I am sure you both will. God bless you and your family.

Smeshque,

Have a great celebration with your mom.

I would like to start over. Wipe the slate clean of negativity. I know it’s healthy to admit our feelings, not good to be in denial but I don’t want to remain stuck and that’s how I feel, sort of stuck or complacent at the moment. I’m struggling. I am asking all of you to please pray for me.

I am a believer, as I know all of you are. Smeshque, I love your spirit, your warmth and encouragement to everyone. I enjoy reading your scriptures that you post. Sometimes I don’t feel like scripture is sinking in right now though.

I don’t even know if I am praying the right way. Sometimes I don’t even feel like praying. I feel like I am a broken record with God with my gripes. I want to show God more gratitude. We should be grateful even if we feel kind of blue. That’s hard for me. Any tips? Smeshque, do you have a scripture reference for me? Or just words from anyone’s heart.

Sometimes I get so confused and frustrated with situations. I start to doubt everything. How does everyone keep their faith strong? Does anyone struggle with their faith and not know exactly what to believe? I do at times.

I don’t think this is only about mom. I just feel sort of lost and a little blue right now. I need to get back on track to be more optimistic.

After praying about your gripes, quiet down to listen for God's still small voice and then pray for strength and wisdom in going forward. Don't worry, God can handle your gripes and strong, honest emotions. Look at what the psalmists had to say sometimes. They were not always happy, praise the Lord in their psalms. It may help to read through the Psalms. Read them out loud to catch the emotion of what is written.

Agree with NHWM:)
I need a re-boot also: (struggling with a nasty darkness).
Was better after hearing the Word today, but miss having a church home.
Tomorrow's Sunday, (shud I go back 2 the Wesleyan church that I used to attend)? They had a scuffle & pastor left, but now have a new one. Most everyone I knew there has left, (& I hate going alone), but have to suck it up prob. Does it sound like a plan? I'm pretty desperate.
Thanks ahead of time.

NHWM, I know what you mean about feeling stuck. I get that way sometimes, usually when I'm tired and stressed out. It's easy to wonder, what's the point of all this? Or, am I really making a difference? Does it all matter?

I like what Cmag said about coming to God, gripes and all. There have been times when I've prayed that I've been angry and frustrated and when I just pour my heart out to God, griping, the whole bit, not holding back, just being honest, I feel better, and I know that He understands. I used to think that I had to sound reverent when I talked to God, like it would be disrespectful if I told Him out loud how I was really feeling. But a good friend told me once, "It's okay, God can handle your anger, or whatever else." And He knows anyway, and I think just wants me to share my heart with Him and be honest.

Two scriptures that have helped me are, "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:16)" and (I love this one!),  "Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:23-24)" I've prayed the same prayer as that father in the story, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief." And I can just picture God telling me He loves me and putting His arms around me and hugging me.

Dearest Smeshque: Please do get some rest! It all sounds like a grand plan! You're a great daughter and DH is a wonderful man!

Thank the Lord, today went nothing like planned. But it turned out very nice and Mom had a wonderful day, and felt much love today.
Had several no shows, no replies. But the two most important ones I think as was her true surprise, stayed and visited her for almost 5 hours. So there was no need for a huge crowd. And they told her now that they know where she lives they will visit more. YAY!!!! They live a ways away so that was lovely. They are such a sweet and loving couple,
But the icing on the cake, was as the couple were heading out our mail arrived, late for a Saturday they usually run before 10 on Saturday so anyway the mail man pulled up in the driveway and honked. I went out and it was a package for Mom. From a Dear friend of mine. She has been a constant support system for me and one of the most beautiful souls one could be blessed to know. Well she sent Mom a birthday package with all these wonderful gifts that Mom was so thrilled about and just loved every one of them. And she sent such loving letter and cards to Mom. When the box was open I could just feel the love ascend out of it. Mom was most thrilled with that package and who it was from, than anything else of the day. Talking about it even as I said our good nights.
God bless that friend, for blessing me with loving Mom and giving her such joy.


And thank you all for your well thoughts, prayers and wishes.

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.” 
Psalms 16:11

Tiger- pray about it, get up in the morning, get dressed to go to church and then go. I use to hate going anywhere alone, but there is no fear in the Lord. No fear.You are not alone, remember that.


NHWM- Oh friend, I hear your struggle and I have been there. When my parents moved here I was in my early transformation stage. I was just deciding that I wanted to do and live as God wants me to, i want HIS will to be my will. Do not get me wrong I will always be in transformation stage until God willing I enter the gates if Heaven and behold the glory of Jesus.
But friend, it was a huge struggle with me, caregiving and my faith. My human did not want to do this, i did not want to change my life, and accommodate others.
Moving my parents here, really tried my faith and I faultered for a bit, thinking I cannot do what God wants me to and not be complaining and miserable, I just did not know how.
For over 5 years now, i have read the bible and studied everyday, as well as when I lie down at that is the last thing I do before sleep.
Now sometimes I feel as though I am not absorbing anything, yet I never fail to keep reading and studying. Because at a later time, something I did not think I absorbed will come out of my mouth, which is from my heart. Because what comes out of our mouth is what is from our hearts. So even when we think we are not absorbing, do not give up, you are absorbing it it is going in your heart. The word of God is powerful and mighty, and so just keep filling yourself with it.
God is faithful and HE says if we lack wisdom, we ask for it, believe we will receive it and HE will give it.
After my Dad passed, I had a worse time. Questioning God, why, how, why oh why? But the clay does not ask the potter why have you made me thus? It is not for us to know Gods reasons, but to only trust as He says HE is working everything to the good of those who love Him and are called according to HIS purpose. HIS purpose, not ours, you see.
You can ask my husband, for a long while all I did was complain and was ever so miserable wondering how am I gonna do what is expected of me. To love and honour my Mom as I should and sacrifice myself doing so. I just thought it was so unfair. But I asked for wisdom and understanding and HE gave it. I do not complain and I am not miserable. At first when Dad died I distanced myself from Mom knowing if she passes I will totally fall apart. And I prayed so hard for God to remove that from me, and HE did. I now am able to love her like I should and to try and enjoy each day and moment, so that I have no regrets that I did not love her to the best of my ability.
We often go to God with our needs and requests and yet forget to just go to Him in thanksgiving and gratitude. My Mom use to say, if your praying and your prayers dont seem to be answered, then think what are you doing for Him?
God answers prayers, sometimes the answer is No. Sometimes our patience gets the better of us and we feel He hasn't answered but it is not HIS time yet to accommodate that prayer.
Faith is tough. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.
We must believe that what we ask in Jesus name will be given in God's time not ours.
I think some people lose faith in thinking God did not answer my prayers what is the point in praying.
That is sad. He knows what is best for us and he knows what we need to be molded into beautiful creatures, we often do not.
NHWM- Do not fear nor be dismayed, do not lose hope nor faith. God is faithful. I am a believer because I have seen Gods hand work in my life. Everyday I see a blessing and everyday I see God. He is all around us if we just look.
People think I am crazy when I say we do not have TV. We have not had TV for many many years now, i have lost track. But what I have found is once we turned that unecessary noise off, and this was before we really dedicated our lives to God, when we were just pondering it, but we truly started hearing Him.

Continued.

Not literally of course. But we heard Him through His word and we heard Him in nature and we seen him everywhere. I see signs if Jesus everyday in this life when I go out into the world and it lifts my heart knowing He is ever present.

I do not know if anything I have written is helpful to you.
My heart just goes out to you because I know your struggle, I have been through it and I want to send you a life preserver.

I will keep you in my prayers and may God give you the strength, patience, wisdom, understanding, joy and leads you in all truths.

I stopped complaining also because God was very clear about the children of Israel and their murmuring. So I know it can always be worse that is absolutely for sure.

Big Hug

NHWM- Psalms 143 is my go to when I feel lost. Sometimes I even pray the words to God as they were my own.
Jesus has a way to make us new and give us a clean slate.

NHWM- Pray to God and tell Him all that is in your heart, on your knees, no complaints, just what you feel (ie.lost,sad, helpless,hopeless, confused) and ask Him to show you truth and light and mold you into what HE wants you to be. Not what you think you should be, but what He wants you to be. And keep praying it and keep praying it everyday, in Jesus name, and see what He does with you.
Give yourself to Him and allow Him to transform you and lead you and guide you and what you feel right now, will disappear and one day you will look back and see how He led you out of this.
Truth is there, healing is there, a newness is there, JOY is there, seek and ye shall find.

I may be wrong but to me complaining out of pain is different than the murmuring of the Israelite's which was out of unbelief. Suppressed pain has a way of showing up somewhere else.

It has been a bad few days...okay, its been a bad week! I try not to complain but that seems all I do--lately. I know Lord you have moved in my life when I don't murmur or whine. So this is me trying to get back to that place I was a few weeks ago. I need Your hand to move a few things around because I can't do it myself. In truth, I can do nothing without You. I need Your wisdom, Your strength, Your courage and Your Word. I am always grateful for all you do and how You remind me that You are always in control even when it comes to our enemies.

Cmagnum,

That’s what I believe is happening to me. I learned to bury pain and then triggers come and the scabs are ripped off of wounds and the pain becomes worse. Make sense? I don’t know how to effectively deal with my emotions.

Smeshque,

Thanks for prayers for me. I am grateful for your prayers because it is beautiful when others pray for those who feel so lost that they don’t know how to pray anymore.

I do love the Psalms. I remember the lovely Billy Graham saying that he and his wife read the psalms together every night.

My husband is a believer but more privately. He prays silently and alone. I suppose everyone prays in their own way.

I tend to pray from my heart. Even my priest told me to forget formal prayers when struggling and pray to God in a conversation with him from our hearts. He said to simply talk to God, out loud if I chose to. That’s what he said that he did. He said he spoke to God out loud as his Heavenly Father or his closest friend.

I will try. I hate feeling as if I am alone. Have you ever felt distant from God and alone? I feel that at times.

Tiger,

Thanks for understanding how I feel. It helps knowing that others have been through this.

I hope that we both find peace. Of course we go through transformations in our lives. Yes, we get stuck at times. I am stuck right now spiritually. So much so that I am confused. I know God exists. I just am not sure what my relationship with Him is right now. I kind of feel unworthy at the moment. I feel doubt about certain issues and that feels like I have a lack of faith and I have shame about that. Make sense? What am I missing here?

If we lose faith, it’s kind of scary. I know and understand why God gave us free will. I just feel like I haven’t used my free will correctly. I mess up. I don’t like that I lose patience with mom or show my frustration about the situation at hand. It’s been going on too long though. Something temporary is different. A person can see the end in sight if it is short lived.

I need more direction in my life. I know God won’t force us to do better but I pray to the Holy Spirit for direction and I still feel lost. I try to listen for God’s voice. I just feel sort of separated from Him at the moment.

I can’t think clearly. It’s the stress. It’s causing a lot of anxiety. Also, being bored. Not enough stimulation. There is a senior group at church for ages 55 and over and I would love to participate. They have pot luck dinners. They go on field trips to interesting places. They have speakers come and talk about interesting topics. I am missing out on all of that.

It’s a wonderful group. I read about the activities in our church bulletin. We have to participate to get the most out of life. I am not putting down the mass. The mass is a beautiful service. The church offers more though and I don’t get to be involved because of mom. I get depressed when the priest or our lector announces the upcoming events and I can’t be a part of them.

Yes, I participate in donations to the food pantry, toys for children at Christmas, items for the homeless and so forth. I’m happy to do those things but I want my soul to be nourished too. I need socialization with others.

Even cloistered nuns have people who reach out to them that they help. They are a cloistered community but still involved. They aren’t involved the way nuns are that aren’t cloistered but it isn’t total isolation.

I know of nuns that aren’t cloistered who minister to people that most people would never help. They reach out to those who need the most compassion and mercy, drug addicts and alcoholics and women who were trapped in prostitution. They truly make a difference in their lives. They give them a purpose to live. They help them but they ask them to work in the soup kitchen or deliver meals. It has worked out well.

An order of nuns visited our church. They were from the Philippines. They rescue women caught up in sex trafficking. They opened a daycare for children born out of that horrible situation. They raise money for the young women to go to college and start their lives over. I bought some of the jewelry that the nuns made to help fund caring for these young women. These are beautiful acts of sharing God’s love.

I know a retired priest who cooks for the homeless daily. It’s beautiful to be involved like that. It gives our lives meaning. I would love to help him cook or serve the poor. He is an incredible priest. I haven’t seen him in awhile. I used to see him quite a bit. He was very good friends with a friend of mine and he was invited to dinner at their home often. I was invited for dinner as well and spent a good bit of time with him and got to know him personally as a humanitarian. I am truly impressed with his spirit of service to the poor.

I used to be active and volunteer in my community. Plain and simple, I am bored to tears, no mental or spiritual stimulation at all. What should I do about this? Anyone is welcome to answer this question. Any ideas?

For comfort:
Isaiah 40:29-31 King James Version (KJV)
29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
2cor 12:10 YLT. ...'wherefore I am well pleased in infirmities, in damages, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses -- for Christ; for whenever I am infirm, then I am powerful;
2cor 1. "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
[4] Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
[5] For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
Hebrews 10:36 (KJV)
 For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

NHWM, Smeshque, hope u feel better. Read & ponder the Word, (more than we ponder our troubles.)💟 I wasted so much time pondering my troubles lately. It really took me down, but your prayers brought me up!
"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? 
and why art thou disquieted within me? 
hope thou in God: 
for I shall yet praise him, 
who is the health of my countenance, and my God." Ps 42:11. "The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: 
he shall preserve thy soul. 
The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in 
from this time forth, and even for evermore.
Psalm 121:7-8  KJV). "Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
Romans 15:13 | KJV

NHWM: The Word describes itself as an 'incorrupible seed', that liveth & abideth forever'.1 Peter 1:23
23 Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.
Luke 8:11 tells us:
"...Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God".18 Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower.
19 When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the wayside". Math 13:18
We must ponder the Word (sometimes for hours), before understanding comes from the. H.G.😳🌈

(I feel better after preaching comfort to my brethren:)
hi to Smeshque, NHWM, feel better soon💝. Peace 2 all.

Tiger,

Those are beautiful scriptures. I do need to reflect on these. You chose passages that I need to study and hopefully I can allow these words to help me in my struggles. Thank you so much.

Sing a little louder,
In the presence of my enemies.

Sing a little louder,
Louder than the unbelief.

Shell,

I hope you feel better soon. It’s so hard being in a funk. It effects everything in our lives. Almost paralyzing for me. Maybe you cope better than I do. I hate feeling crippled and need someone to kick me in the butt to get moving in the right direction.

Smeshque: Oh, what joy that you brought to your dear mother! Her party was a stellar success because of her wonderful daughter - YOU! Along with the help of DH, AB and the wonderful friend, who sent her a package. You did an outstanding job!

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

NeedHelpWithMom: A few days ago I had noticed that you were having an extremely rough day on another thread and so therefore, I had asked for prayer for YOU on this thread. I knew that you had to be on your last ounce of strength as I, too, had been there and knew it's not easy. But with prayers and the LORD by our side, we can get through. Hope you're doing better, NHWM. Big Hugs ((( ))).

Shell: I do hope and pray that you're feeling better. Big Hugs ((( ))).

Thanks, Llama

please keep praying for me. I appreciate it.