Is anyone else having a challenge of doing things scriptural, verses what the secular world says. As in scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first. I know what is right, just wondering if others may struggle with this. And how do we mourn the loss of ourselves without sinking into depression? How do we have joy in the midst of our trials and tribulations? It seems that as time passes my patience doesn't hurt as much, (must be experience), but still everyday I start wearing down where my patience begins to hurt a little and I am struggling not to let it be seen. I spend a lot of time in prayer and in the word, that is the only way I have the strength to do this, putting myself aside. But as a faulty human being, I am still in a struggle and seek like minded individuals who understand. May God bless all those who are loving their loved ones to the best of their ability.
You all bring me joy, I believe to our Saviour as well, glorifying and praising him.
Thank you so much. May God bless each of you in your situations of life.
"But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head."
It is one of my Mom's favorite verses, i bet she would love to know that song also, she loves singing.
I am going to try and find it. thank you for telling me about it.
I think doing what’s right requires different levels of thoughts and actions and in a very simplified way when it comes to caregiving, I believe this would be the order:
- First, deciding to do what is right over what’s easy
- Second, taking action and actually doing what’s right (putting others before us)
- Third, achieving a level of acceptance, commitment and understanding that allows us to do the right thing without resenting others or feeling sad or angry for what we are missing or sacrificing. Not blaming, not complaining, not feeling sorry for ourselves, not wishing our life was different...etc.
All the steps of that process are very challenging for our human condition, but when you break the process down like that, you may realize that if you’ve acknowledged what the right path is, and have followed it, the third step is a constant challenge, a constant test for our faith and our endurance. It really doesn’t end. Some days we succeed and others we fail. It basically intents perfection, which although not impossible, we know is a true challenge for all humans.
So, I really believe we don’t completely fail by not achieving perfect acceptance. That’s were prayer comes to our rescue, and where the Lord who knows our heart an our intent better than us, helps us, because He does undoubtedly help us every day and every second of each day, so we keep going.
Long answer to say that I do believe we should put others first, even if that requires keeping silent when we would like to say something to just defend ourselves. God knows our truth.
I also believe we need to apply common sense and take care of ourselves so we can serve. That’s not contrary to our dedication to service.
May God keep helping every one of us on this journey, caregivers and loved ones, and more so those that need care and attention yet are forgotten and not being cared for nor receiving love or consolation!
Thank you so very much, I truly appreciate you speaking truth and light.
May God bless you in your journey. Hope to see more of your understanding. You are a blessing.
And I know God understands us, weakness, shortcomings and all!
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
God bless!
Just don't give up and keep praying, your strength and your answers will come. Patience is one of the biggest things for us as humans to deal with. We want it when we want it. God knows best and it will come when he is ready for you to have it, for your own good.
This site will be helpful to you as well. Knowing there are others in your situation , helps a lot. But find your comfort in God's word.
Caregiving is usually seen as a burden. But in fact it is a true blessing. A selfless act of love we get to bestow upon a loved one. It turns our weakness into strength. It helps us see what truly is important in life and how we can endure with the Lord's help, through the most challenging and difficult times.We will look back on these difficult times when it is over, and see how we grew, and our strengths, and how we have no regrets because we did the best that we could to love like 1 Corinthians 13. Caregiving is tremendously hard, but if God brings you to it, HE will bring you through it. So hang around. Will be praying for you, and may God bless you.
And remember:
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
You probably have already found plenty of comments by the many people on this site with similar situations. The key take away in my opinion is that your mom simply cannot control what she is doing nor is aware of the extremely negative effects of her behavior. When you don’t know what you’re doing you cannot change nor help the situation. It’s beyond selfishness or lack of empathy, it’s an illness.
I’d say that more than forgiving her, focus on forgiving yourself. People who’re children of a parent like yours grow up with anger, sadness, frustration and to face a lot of guilt. So, forgive yourself for all you feel guilty about!
At the end of the day, both of you are victims. She’s a victim of her ill mind/personality and you of the consequences of that same illness.
Remember that your understanding of the situation -which she will never reach- makes you the bigger person. Things look and feel a lot different when you know you’re in control. Start exercising the power of your knowledge to not let her words and behavior get to you, because now that you know she’s ill and clueless while you’re aware and informed, everything should be and feel differently. Does it make sense? Hope so!
Also if you’re a believer, resource to God. Because since we’re talking about power, there’s no greater power than the one that comes from above to help us navigate through life :)
God's will be done. Through Jesus Christ our Saviour.
May God bless you and keep you.
I am so sorry you have been through that and that your mom did not believe you, that had to be so disheartening to say the least. You are a strong, kind, and loving person. I can see in your words how you have taken all that bad that happened to you and turned it into good. You are very strong. I am so happy to have the privilege to exchange words with you. You are a survivor. May God continue to bless you and keep you.
"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:7