I ihad to have my mother start wearing depends this week. She is always having accidents all over the floor and in her clothes. When I ask her if she knew she had to go, she says no. When I know she has had a bowel movement and and I ask her she says she just peed!! I don't understand. She had a colonoscopy a year ago and everything was fine. She was having a few accidents back then but said she was too involved with tv and waited too long. Now she's saying she didn't know she went all over the place. AND sometimes she hides the dirty clothes. I have found her underwear stuffed in tissue boxes in the garbage and she says she didn't do it!!! Is she lying or does she not remember doing it??? What kind of a doctor do I take her to?? I am so frustrated right now, I want to kick her to the curb, if she is doing this on purpose. thanks for listening.
As far as taking her to the store, it you want to take her - you can have her use the handicapped carts that are motorized. I can tell that you are feeling frustrated, so understand that suggestions are to help you out of the frustration - its a delicate balance. If you can keep her engaged and take her with you it will make your life easier, believe it or not. The more you keep her engaged and push her to keep her brain & body as active as possible, the better chance you have keeping her at home & healthy. The more sedentary - well, you already understand.
I hope you have luck with the doc / aging agency.... I'm in a similar situation as an only caregiver. Take care
Before you do anything, imagine what it would be like if you did not have control over your bowels. You will have to start evaluating everything in her life. Look at her diet which may be a major cause, consider that if she is not getting enough toning exercise her sphincter muscles may be weakening, consider that something else is going on and make an appointment with the doctor. Bring samples of urine & feces - - and be prepared to work with your mom to help her.
I suspect that Carol and others will also have good advice. But hang in there. You can help your mom.