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We are the pastors and close friend of a dear man (he is also my children’s godfather) who was put into a long term care facility by his son. This son is conservator but has emotional problems (has been on medication due to his own emotional issues) and has shut us out. We have been in his father’s life for over 30 years: I’ve worked for him, took care of him, etc.


It’s been at least 6 months and the son refuses to get in touch with us. We believe that because of this, his father has probably declined cognitively; because if he could, he himself would have reached out to us or had someone else do so.


He calls us his family and we miss him terribly. Is there anything we can do, or anyone we can talk to who can help us find out how he is doing?

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Susana78, the son could be totally overwhelmed regarding the care of his father. Was the son living in his Dad's home helping him? Even if he wasn't, watching over an elder is physically and emotionally draining. Lot of things to decide, such as if your friend owned a house on his own, what to do with the house and all the belongings. I know it took me half a year to go through all my parent's things, to sell the house, get all their ducks in a row, once they were moved to senior care. And the cost of the senior care facilities, the equity in the house help pay this expense.

Have you gone to the long term care facility to see if you can see your friend? Unless there is a ban on visitors for this person, maybe you can look in on him. I know the facility cannot give you any information regarding the health of your friend due to Federal law.

Chances are your friend may had declined to a point where he doesn't recognize anyone and visitors could cause this man to get upset, through no fault of the visitor.
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Nothing you can do. He can keep you from seeing the man.
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Yes, a conservator can decide who gets to visit.
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