Mom has dementia. I have been her care giver for years now. I have given up everything. I have nothing. I live in her house that is on a reverse mortgage so when she goes so does it. I have nothing in any savings to even move out. My SSI will not be enough to make it on my own. I have finally asked two things of her - Take you pills (and on time) and Take a shower. She stinks so bad I gage if I get near her. She has now broken the forth microwave. I have given all my money into keeping her and her house and he things in clean working order. It stated raining today so a tent is not going to be easy. I need to get out of here. I really mean it when I say I hate her. She yells at me and tells me she does things that she has not done. You have all been there to some degree but I want a life. I am 63 and damaged from cancer and have little of my own. I have little time to have a life. Everyone in this family seems to think I can take care of it all. I am done............................She won't take a shower - if she doesn't take her yellow pill she will hit people - this is NOT my mom and I can't stand this person that her brain has made
I'm at my wits end here , PLEASE HELP, what can I do , I am trapped
dementia care is exasperating as hell but you have to stop short of blaming the patient .
You will need to hire a certified Appraiser to come in to appraise the value of the house. Then if one plans to sell, said house has to be actively marketed with a Realtor, at or below appraised value, the mortgage company may give you 6 months to sell or 1 year to sell [depends on their rules], otherwise the house goes into foreclosure.
My boss decided not to refinance but to sell. His house sold in one week, so he is now scrambling to find a new much smaller place to live..... and to move, sell, donate, or toss 30 years of stuff that he and his late wife had accumulated. He has only 30 days to do all this.
Have you considered seeing a therapist?
Mother in law , 12 years of care (NO HELP!)
NOW..For five yrs, father in law (who deserves to be on the street! A drunk, ex-con, my husband and his siblings EXPECT me to deal with their parents....and they have done a great job seeing that happens.
I live like a prisioner & pauper, can't leave my home (dont trust him, dimenshia or not, he still knows what he does, also COPD & Heart issues).
I know death is my only option, can only pray for my death....."Good luck, if you have money & can run girl....RUN" !
"I hope one other person can run, caregivers are abused too"....who the hell helps us??? Unless their babbling like a complete idiot, the State, Doctors, etc...Will not help!
Run, don't look back. Go live out your life if you can! Im too tired, can't run, no money, no place to go, and no help. My husband will be happy when he gets my life insurance...if he gets it, suicide does not always pay the life insurance? (He has a million dollar plan on me???) (Im only 43!)
I wanted a life, thought it would happen when "my last family member died, I was 29! Never happened, just watched my life & home turn into a freakin nursing facility with ONE nurse.....me.
Then go home and start packing. Even though there is a reverse mortgage on the house, you'll have some time to vacate before it's put up for sale. Best of luck.