My mother moved in with me when my oldest sister dies who lived with her. My brother died when I was 9. My mother and 2 sisters have been addicted to pain meds for years. One sister comitted suicide and the other who lived with mom died when her colon died. Her body couldnt even process the pain meds anymore. Years ago I made the decision to walk away and would only hear from mom when the oldest sister drained her accounts . When she died my moms accountwas charged 983 dollars in overdraft charges alone. So my only option was to move her in. She was in the hole over 2000.00. My husband and I discussed it. We felt this may be a chance to form a friendship if nothing else.
It has been a battle since after the first 3 months. When she accused my daughters fiance of stealing her pain pills I took control of them. She is forced to go to a pain management dr to get her pain meds every 3 months. She goes in my room searching for them while we work. She accuses me of stealing her money. There is nothing wrong with my moms mind. Just this month alone she has spent 732.00 at qvc. She has spent 1000's with qvc since shes been here. Mom has copd and has oxegen in her room. In comes the worst of the argument. She smokes a pack a day in her bedroom and often dosent turn the oxegen off. Im terrified she will cause an explosion and kill us with her. When I take the cigs it turns into a horrible argument. My mother has treated her grandchildren so horribly none have been to my home for 2 years. She has a sister who will not even answer her phone when she calls. She asked a cousin if she could move in and was told no. So she informed me that I would have to have a judge remove her from my home. I accepted years ago that my mom had no use for me. At 10 years old she informed me that she couldnt believe god took johnny instead of me. I heard that for years. I would cry untill I matured and realized she was the one messed up not me.
Now I am 50 years old and taking the verbal abuse again. I hear about how fat I am and dumpy I am. I buy a new outfit and get told I look rediculous. I need some help trying to figure out how to get her out of here. I had to give her the pain meds back last week because she threatened to quit taking her other medicines and she would accuse me of keeping them from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been happily married for 28 years to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We own our own home. She has her own room with a bath and never has anyone in my family not made her feel this wasnt her home too. We fix her plate every night, take her to dr. Appts, wash her clothes, and still she treats us this way. Anyone who can please guide me in the right direction I would be so grateful. I am so stressed. I cant sleep, ive gained 40 pounds and im tired everyday.
Have a blessed day
I'm sorry for the tears at the grocery store. You'll get the shopping done. It's just part of the process. Be kind to yourself and don't feel disgusted with yourself for the behavior of two stupid people and the problems they create for themselves. It will always be something and your true responsibility is to yourself and your family.
Big hugs to you, Lisa. Love, Cattails
You just keep posting. We all admire your courage and will support you all the way.
Love, Cattails
PLEASE keep us posted. When are you leaving for the lake? Wednesday?
Love Ya, Cattails
gerontology majors and psychiatrists. Lisa, you are as amazing as all the other wise "Kick Ass Women" you have brought together. Please enjoy a wonderful time relaxing at the lake. Water and camping are so renewing and you all so deserve some true respite and time for each other-time to leave the trauma of
your mom's snarled, enmeshing tentacles far from where you are!
Also want to let you know my profile pic is actually an art photo of man carrying long beans or cucumbers to market on his head. At first I thought it was some
funky snake charmer, but I love it because it speaks to the strength of the human
spirit and how much effort we will extend to survive and even thrive. I think it is
an interesting parallel to our lives as caregivers and survivors of the snarley
messes some of us have had to work from and carry on our heads!
I'm going to make a set of cards too Jeanne! Luv it! Don't forget "ain't that a
whoopin"!!
Hugs and love, love, love to each of you, and Lisa, Doug, Jen, Beth and Chris...
I'm so happy that you are free of, She that shall not be named, but equally as wonderful is that you have a life that allows so much love to pour in. How blessed you and your family are.
Sending you love and a big welcome home. Hugs, Cattails