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Lisa, as you know I have just separated myself from my family for my own sanity. I have place blocks on my phones and have decided that I need and deserve a life after 56 years of dealing with manipulation and hatefulness. Remember that you and I are survivors and can't give in to the sheer misery we lived in for years and years. You have some great advice here so use all of it you can and walk with the knowledge that we love and admire your strength. Rebecca ( You are one of my heroes!)
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Good morning everyone! I've had a very interesting morning. At 8 a.m. The phone rings. It's the hospital. Oh well, better pick it up. It was Joanne, the social worker who wouldn't let mom be released to come back to my home. She asked me if I was aware she had been admitted back to the hospital. Yes. Well we are having a problem. Your mom has been agitated thru the night and it seems it's escalated this morning. She won't discuss what is wrong with her dr, me, or the nurses. Ok Joanne, why have you called me? Well we are hoping you can come in and speak with her and maybe shed some light on her behavior. And I realize this is asking a lot from you. I haven't forgotten you or our discussion. I've actually thought of you often and have hoped you were able to move on with your life. I told her yes you are asking a lot. I've had good days and bad days. But many more good days and I don't want to lose that. But I will be there at 9:30. Ok I hear the sighs girls:) well I walk into the room, and Joanne and her nurse are standing just outside the door.(I did warn them this could get ugly. Snicker snicker snort snort) first words outta her mouth were what the f... Are you doing here. Was that a gasp I hear from the hallway??? Heeheehee well mom, I understand you've had a bad night. Well I didn't need any coaxing. She went right into her problem. SHE GOT BUSTED GIRLS!!! her pain management dr started doing a little digging and found out mommy dearest hasn't been honest with him. She never informed him of and hospital and rehab stays so her pain Meds could be adjusted. Which implys to him she has been abusing her prescription for the last 10 years. So he's dropped her as a patient. Well mom, (with a big ass smile on my face) this is a good thing. Now you can talk to the social worker here and your dr and go to rehab to start being weaned off your drug addiction. F... Them. I'll start taking aleve! And that skinny ass bitch don't know her ass from a whole in the ground. Ok, the gasp from the hallway is definitely more than 2 people. Dam girls, I'm thinking we've drawn a crowd. Mom calm down. Get out of here! You ungrateful bitch, don't you ever show your face to me again. Ok mom. I'm leaving. No problem. Start feeling better. I walk out of the room and there's at least a dozen people standing there. All of them with looks of shock on their faces. The man on the ladder working on something in the ceiling has stopped working with his mouth hanging open. I go over to the nurses station and lay my head on my arms. Joanne sees my shoulders shaking and runs over. I am so sorry I called you. Can I call someone? Maybe mom is right. This woman thinks I'm sobbing. I'm laughing so freaking hard I lift my head, and I can't speak. Tear of laughter running down my face. Man on the ladder said aw hell, she's all right. She's laughing. I finally get out to Joanne I'm sorry she said that about you and you had to hear. So there's the problem. Her drug supply has been cut off. That's why she's here. She was outta pain pills. so you have 2 options. Get the dr working on getting her another pain mgmt dr, or get her to a drug rehab. And I looked at Joanne and told her I came because you asked me to. You were the one who took the huge step and told me go home. Enjoy your mothers day. Your amazing kindness to me was a huge step in my healing process. And this scene? Stop looking horrified. This is nothing. She was actually civil to me today. I turned to her nurse who actually looked I'll. She looked to be straight out of school. I told her this will be a wonderful learning experience for you. Not all elderly women are cookie and cupcakes grannies. You'll do fine. You guys have a terrific day. I left. Dougs coming home for lunch so I can fill him in. I just couldn't on the phone. I'll be back, but I think I'm scaring beth a little. Still laughing while I type this. So I'll talk with her and try to explain the humor in it. Love to all, Lisa
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I'm am still smiling, you had a amazing morning and one the hospital staff will not forget for a while. Have some ice tea but please don't choke on it during the fits of laughter. I think you will be safe for social workers for a while. I would love to read her notes though.
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What was so great about this morning was not once was she able to wipe the smile off my face. Not once was she able to make me cringe and feel humiliation. And if that poor Joanne ever had any doubts when we talked two months ago? Imma thinking she should be looking for a neck brace to help with the twitch she's developed.
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I've got to admit, when you agreed to go to the hospital, I did say "NO" out loud. You knew best though. So glad you went and Mom is exposed. A dozen people outside of her room listening? OMG! What a hoot. There'll be plenty of chatter about this over a dozen dinner tables this evening. I'm glad you're laughing.
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I wasn't completely surprised that you went, Lisa. Sometimes curiosity can play a role too. Maybe it's easier when you have the nurse and social worker standing outside the door as a witness to her behavior. Validation comes your way without you having to explain a thing.

So now you know that your mom has an x-ray that shows some lung issues and that she is going through withdrawal. She's in good hands, the hospital has a better idea of what her problems are, and you managed to get out of it intact. Plus I think you may feel like any questions you had about her illness have been answered.

I think you can put this behind you with a lighter heart and leave her to the twitching experts.

Here's the lesson here, should you feel compelled at a future date to step in and assist the professionals, be sure they never leave your side. Don't do it alone and don't do it often. Only when you truly feel you "want" to.

Hugs, Cattails
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Judy, I think when she screamed? It was a natural reaction for the others to come offer assistance to the nurse. Then I think it was fascination that kept them there. Dougs thoughts.? He thinks miss Joanne played me like a fiddle. Her bringing up to me how she helped me made me feel the need to repay her. How depressing. He's right I'm sure. Yep, guess I took another step back. But he's relieved it turned out the way it did. In fact it cracked him up. Then his next statement. Remember, we do this together from now on. Dam
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Boy, am I grinning ear to ear. Lots of good things happened here. Some people in the hospital got an education in real life. LOL. Doug has a good head on him, and can see things from a little more distance. I know no matter what we say, you gotta do what you gotta do., and you did fine. You know her like no one else does. The road is never straight, and I am not sure you took a step back.

Mine is now saying that her doctor sat her down, and told her she was on her way out..(I don't think so - a couple of emails ago it was different, and after a few days in hospital recently, they said there was nothing wrong with her except she shouldn't eat fried food.). She hasn't lost a pound, has rosy cheeks etc etc, and looks, and acts much younger than her years. She gave me instructions for her funeral, her obit etc.and I said sure. I will do that. lol. No arguments here

Keep up the good work, Lisa

Yay!!!!!!
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Same here emjo. Nice rosy cheeks. No hoarseness. She was having withdrawals. The social worker called again. They are going to speak with mom about going to a rehab to be weened off the pain Meds. She asked if I wished to be present. Hell no. I have no further wish to be involved with any aspect of her care. Please proceed however you wish. I would prefer to be left completely out of it. She complete.y understood. Well duh!
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Lisa, I think you going was a blessing... for one thing,staff finally saw what you have been trying to avoid.... and I don't know if you were maniputlated or not, all I know is that your debt is paid to the nurse.... give yourself the credit, that you did the right thing for the right reasons.... sounds to me like God had his hand in it, so let's give Him the credit for the situation, and you tons of credit for following thru.... And now THEY know... they can't invalidate you ever again, or shame you for not being a dutiful duaghter, or judge you... that's why I feel it's a God thing, He set up a situation for you to free...... so very proud of you..... you just continue to amaze me, so much respect for you...... Go Lisa, clap clap, Go lisa, clap clap.... hip hip hoorayyyyyyyyy... YOU Are free, free at last...... hugs across the miles to you...
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Didn't proofread before posting.... " a situation for you to BE FREE".....
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Hey Lisa, It's all good as they say. You needed to do what you did and what you do is less and less. Any contact just reinforces that. So don't feel bad or like it's a step back. I don't think it is at all. Love, Cattails
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Lisa you rock girl-now they got her number now-you made my day -when you get a chance read your words from your first posting-see how far you have come-you are my hero.
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Whoohoo! Perfect, and priceless!
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Lisa, I only regret that I could not have been in the hallway listening with the nurses. Cattails, I totally agree with the fact that doing things less and less by degrees is the easiest way for those of us who can't always escape the drama. Finally, we just won't be there to experience the drama that wears us out. It just occurred to me, Lisa, you have helped your mother with her health despite her fighting it. I hope she can one day be grateful to you even if she never expresses it.
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Good luck to you.

I am really struggling with the same. Maybe not as drastic. I feel so obligated and I guess, like you, I keep wishing I could resolve my relational problems with my mother. Funny how the children treated the worst early on are the ones who keep trying until the end to find acceptance with a parent who doesn't have it to give. I am so sorry for my mom that she is so angry and hateful. But what hurts the most, is I feel myself taking on the same bitterness in self-defense. :(
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Well girls, my mothers nasty sticky tentacles have reached further than I thought. She met a woman in her rehab where she stays after hops visit. This woman raised her children in the same church as my aunt Rae. The woman's daughter knows my cousin very well and approached her after church weeks ago. Blasted my cousin Annie about me throwing her out and what a piss poor sister my aunt rae is for letting it happen. So my aunt called me back today and confessed that when she called me weeks ago she already knew and she suspected I was worrying about telling her. But she thought if she called it would somehow make it easier for me to open up. My aunt has been a member of her church for more than 50 years. And like me, she shielded her children from this family. Her mom was pretty bad, but nothing like mom. And my uncle Joe died 2 years ago, one week after my sister. So with the insurance money she fulfilled a lifelong dream and with a large group from church went to Rome and visited the Vatican.she's already had 2 of the women call her about the buzz this woman and her daughter are creating. She told me to hell with them. Everyone who knows her knows better. Well, I just can't sit on my hands. My aunt has a very powerful love for her church and her faith. I know who and where this Phyllis lives. Should I go make a plea for her to stop? Explain it all to her? It's never going to stop is it? She's just going to do all she can to beat me down. She knows how badly she can hurt me by hurting my aunt.
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To be honest with you. I think serveral, serveral notes ago you talked about a Father Mike ( I believe that is what you said his name was) I would go talk with hime and tell him the whole story if he doesn't know already, then ask him to either speak to these people on your behalf or go with you when you do. If you go alone all kinds of things can and will be stated wrong. You must protect yourself and your auntie Rae. Please consider this..
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Diavalon, what a great idea! It would be nice to stand up for Aunt Rae, Lisa, I agree... something should probably be said for her sake but its like poking a hornet's nest. In a way, it might be better to let the situation sit and ignore those silly, hateful women. On the other hand, such hurtful stuff shouldn't go without a slap back. Father Mike might be a great option. Seems pretty funny that this venom is coming from a few church ladies. WWJD? Maybe they should be reminded.
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Lisa:

I'm surprised that this Phyllis would behave in such a poor manner. Shame on her. She must not be very bright, so now you know what your are up against in reasoning with her. Maybe others have a poor opinion of Phyllis too.

As long as your mother can breathe she will create havoc and spread hatred. That will never end. You, on the other hand, are going to have to let some nasty things go. At least then you are not giving her the satisfaction of a response and that, is some big way is an end.

I feel for your Aunt Rae, but I think she is a big girl and can take care of herself. People have known her for years and some gossiping hag isn't going to change their opinion of her. Same for your cousin.

So my advise is sit on your hands and if you absolutely must do something, talk to Father Mike and your Aunt Rae. Don't confront Phyllis, it will only stir the pot and your mom will be so happy she may live another 10 years.

Hugs, Cattails
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Your right cat. We'll be with aunt Rae Friday night. I'm going to let her make the decision. I'll do whatever she wishes. This is her church, her friends. The thing is I liked this phylis woman when I met her. And I believe she liked Doug and I. Never met the daughter who chose to run her mouth to my cousin. I told aunt Rae it sounded like playground nastiness. My cousin asked this woman how well do you know Delores. She told her she met her one time but her mom talks to her often. She told her her ridiculous accusations didn't deserve a reply, but I think I will anyway.my cousin, along with my mother, could sit down with you and your mother and tell you some horror stories that would have you crying uncle within minutes. So be careful what you say. It's idiots like you that rush in half cocked making an already stressful situation just that much worse when your facts are one sided. So I think Annie handled it very well. I am so glad she called me. Anything further she and I will take care of. Lord, will I ever get over this guilt letting that woman near my family. So tired of my life being a soap opera. Now it's affecting the ones who love me best outside my Doug and our girls. So that's it girls. I'll work with Annie to keep the nastiness from her.
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Yes,mist impacting the ones you love best outside Doug and the girls AND AND AND...they are handling it. They are. They are up to it. This is just an old reflex. If Aunt Rae needed your back up she would ask.

Take a deep breath. If you enter into ANY dialogue with these virtual strangers, you engage with your mother. If she can't get at your directly, she will get at you indirectly. And those busybodies will report back. That is what busy bodies do! And your Mom will feed the gossip demon until she hears she has hit the jackpot.

Let your Aunt involve the priest if SHE needs to. Aunt Rae does NOT need you to enter the battle here. Most of us, YOU do not need you to enter the battle here.

It's not my problem. It's not my problem. It's not my problem.

Maybe add: any reaction to her is a point for her, and we start the game over, withdraw, sweetie. Go cold turkey, no matter how good the lure looks.
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Lisa: I so agree with JaneB. Look at you have been through all of your life, especially the last few years. You are still standing and your Aunt Rae and cousin Annie are just fine. If I am correct, your Aunt Rae is your mom's sister? So she is your Aunt Rae's family too. So your comment about protecting her from your family doesn't really make sense.

Let it go. You, your Aunt Rae and your cousin Annie are fine people. Accept that your mom cannot be controlled and no one is responsible for her foul, lying mouth. She is sick. Don't argue with the sick or their followers.

Live your life to the fullest and love the ones that love you best. That's all you should do. Hugs, Cattails
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Me too, I agree with Jane and cattails. We are the big "fixers" and are overly responsible. You don't have to fix this. Let the "main players" do what they want to. Your mum is trying to get at you any way she can, and she will continue to do things like this. You don't have to react to them - or not so that she knows that you are. It will take a while for your emotions to calm down, and for you not to be vulnerable to the games. You do have feelings about what your mum is doing , but you don't have to act on them. The sky will not fall in, and Aunt Rae, who has survived very well so far, will continue to do well. (((((((hugs)))))) I know it is hard, and whatever you do we all are behind you.
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I loved Emjo's statement, "We are the big fixers and are overly responsible." Lisa, that is so true and it is our collective cross to bear. We need to keep it in check and remember that "discretion is the better part of valor." Love ya, Cattails
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Lisa I agree with Cat and Judy and Emjo -your Aunt Rea will be able to stick up for herself-your Mon will continue to cause drama-you staying out of it will show your Mom she can not pull your strings anymore and will get that message.
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YUP!
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Hey girls. Quiet day today. Had my 8 hour update to day for transportation. Lots of new federal regulations. We are finally getting cameras on all the buses. So I'm feeling very good about going back to work in august. We have some cameras on buses and they showed us a video from one of the runs in our county where two females in middle school were sexually molested and the driver did nothing. Their faces were held to the boys involved crotches while they gyrated. They did this repeatedly. The man did nothing. The girls were hollering for help. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this with you except last year was a bad year dealing with mom and trying to leave my emotions here at the door. I spent so many days getting off the bus just crying where I left one stressful situation and coming home to another. The video proved to me I have to get back where I was 3 years ago. These middle school students get more violent every year. My coordinator puts me on problem runs with drivers to get them under control. I'm now even more determined. I really believe I'll be in a good place when we start back. Thanks for listening. Love and more love to all, lisa
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It's great to hear your strength showing.
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Elisa, we are here cheering you on! Be strong!
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