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Good plan Rebecca and glad to hear more from you. You must protect yourself from exposure to sibs. Think of them as the plague. You don't want any plague cooties on you because it will make you very sick.

Do your best for mom and let the rest go. Sending you lots of love and hugs, Cattails.
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Hi girls! Have had a good day today! Fil doing good. Extremely tired, but no other effects as of yet from chemo. Got our first batch of green beans from the garden today, and of course had to make a pot. Tomorrow I'll make the kale. Doug and Jen were bored with it raining and all so decided to go check out a new outlet store in town called ollies. It never fails. He always brings me something home. Well hell, you guys know just about everything so ya might as well know this: I LOVE PAJAMAS! Heeheehee. And if this man of mine is out and sees a pretty pair of pajamas? He buys them. So I got 2 sets today. He told me he's gotten behind in the last couple years. he told me he's gotten off cheap all these years. I could have a diamond fetish. So I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. We've had my moms youngest sister who I haven't talked to in 25 years trying to reach me thru Facebook. Don't think so. For years the dingbat has convinced herself she's a witch. I called my aunt Rae and told her she would not believe who's trying to contact me. She hasn't spoken with her since mamaw
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Dang I hate that! Continued....died either. And honestly girls? She dyes her hair pitch black and has very white skin. BOO!!! it's hilarious. Jen told me shame on you mom. Aunt raes probably sitting at home saying the rosary because she crawled out of the woodwork. Doug just asked why I'm smiling and I told him. He said omg Lisa, don't tell them about her. Then he says tell them about the black roses. Heeheehee. Make up your mind dear. Love to everyone!!!!! Lisa
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LIsa tell hubby those kinds of stories keep Caregivers happy... to know we aren't the only ones with freaky relatives..... I had an acquittance that said she was a witch... my sentiments exactly...lol... but not the kind she was talking about.... also tell your hubby after awhile, as we become friends , no topic is taboo, it can get gross sometimes....
Am happy that fil is not having bad reactions to the chemo... prayers for ya'll's whole family.... hugs across the miles....
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I know a very sweet woman who claims to be a witch! I've been to her to have a tarot card reading. The reading sucked, but she was nice. I'm sure there are the weirdos, but I've only had good dealings with this woman. What's the black rose story?
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Black rose story is when my grandma died my aunt who claims to be a witch had an a aquaintest who was into the occult. Doug and I sat down and noticed this unusual arrangement someone sent. Black roses. This man had kept calling our family members the preceding week before her death inviting us to some ritual. Freaked us out something horrible. And Judy, I love watching joh Edward, Sylvia brown, etc. I do believe there are people who have special gifts like mediums. Wicca is a religion. And those who practice Wicca have a firm belief in this. More power to them. To each their own. But girl, if they are anything like my aunt? Really strange and scary.
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Lisa: I'll take your sweet Aunt Rae and her rosary beads to your crazy aunt who is a witch. Just think attraction. Both of these women are your mom's sisters. There is a lot of shit that runs through your family. No offense Lisa, you are an angel and so it your aunt Rae. You guys are the positive light. I don't have a problem with you believing and some people can connect with the "other world", but if you believe in good and evil, then you have to consider the source and what it brings. If she is such a great witch, she wouldn't need FB to get a hold of you.

I have a friend that I have known since I was 19 years old. She claims to be a physic and I give her credit for helping people. My personal feeling is that I have enough shit it this world to deal with, don't need more from shit from another world.

I had a dear friend, called her my best friend. She died from cancer about 12 years ago. I think her death could have been prevented, but she got caught up with a freak who won her over and had all these physic abilities. I remember going to visit my friend and we got together with her freak friend; stopped by her house before dinner for a drink etc. This gal had a dog and the dog liked me. Most all dogs like me because I like them, but then she started talking about her dog being from another planet and it had the ability to know souls, etc. It had declared me a good soul. JC, what a bunch of BS.

It broke my heart that my dear friend was so into this person. I just couldn't believe it. She talked her into not doing anymore treatments for her cancer. It was so tragic and still weighs on my heart. My friend, Lynette, never told me when she relapsed and I didn't know she had died until a couple of days later. We lived some miles apart, 5 hour drive. Sure left a whole in my life and I still think about her so often. She was such a smart woman; just hard to imagine.

Bottom line, don't give up your common sense. Yeah, it could be fun to play around with, but God gave you what you need to think for yourself. It's not that I'm such a skeptic, it just that I know I have some insight too and I'm not ready to turn that over to the church of the "what's happening now."

I am fascinated by Jon Edwards and some others that seem so right on the mark, but I know I have what I need to navigate this world, so why go look for another guide. Just the path I have chosen.

Cattails
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Ya, there are some strange ones out there. I went Halloween camp outs with a Celtic pagan group that I've known for years. They're not together anymore though, which is a bummer, because they were soooo much fun. I've got some stories. I loved this group of people. Not just pagans, but they put on the party every year, but people from different religions just camping out having a good time, drinking mead and listening to an Irish band in a desert campground. It was a blast. My husband just rolled his eyes and let me run off with my friends for the night with our tents and coolers. I've got some stories I could tell you. But, this one particular night, there was a guy who thought that he was a dog in a different life and he slept on the blanket my friend had outside her tent. It was the weirdest thing to wake up to a guy curled up like a dog on the blanket. And, there was a guy there who walked around in a hooded cape with antlers somehow attached to the hood. Very strange. Oh! And a girl who walked around in a gargoyle suit, complete with wings (it was Halloween, after all) who claimed to have gypsy blood and claimed to be a Romany witch. So, ya, I guess I've met some strange ones too. But, I love my little tarot card reader witch, even if she does give crappy readings. I've been getting into the meanings behind certain flowers and flower colors. I guess in the Victorian days, when you sent flowers, they had a meaning. Black roses can mean farewell. So, maybe your aunt's aquaintance meant to say farewell with the black roses. Or maybe the aquaintance was just frikkin weird! Haha! I better shut up before you all think I've lost my mind.
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New pj's, lucky you. Ollies is hilarious, never know what u'll come home with from there! I have a stepmother who claims she is NOT a witch-we don't believe her tho. Wouldn't give us a single thing of my dad's when he died, but we could drive ten hours an buy something from his "pickers" type garage, and they'd have the
house locked, but would provide convenience stations and a concession stand. Crazy people, they're in every family! Wonder where they got those black roses?!
Hope things went ok w your planned toughlove fest. Glad FIL is experiencing JUST the fatigue. Hope he can get all the rest he needs. LUV TO U ALL, kimbee
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cat, I am sorry about your friend, Lynette, and am with you on having enough to deal with from this world, and not needing guidance from elsewhere. I never did any drugs as i figured reality was interesting enough. II'll take Aunt rae and the rosary too -
no offense meant, judy or anyone with different beliefs - each to his/her own. I have read about the meaning fo flower colour in Victorian days - red is true love I think, and yellow is friendship in roses anyway
rebecca so glad to see you back. I am sure the stress of your sibs makes you ill, and I am pleased the doc set limits on your contact
lisa -wonderfdul that fil is not suffering from the chemo - hope that continues
any progress with mil and an evaluation? is Doug beginning to see that his mum needs help? i expect it will come, but he has a lot to deal with consldering illness in both his parents.. Pretty pj's - how nice!!!
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My dearest cat, not for one moment do I believe the aunt is a real witch. Just one more mental relative hanging from my family tree. And I do love watching those shows with mediums. Can they really connect with the dead? I seriously doubt it, but it does make one wonder. It is sweet to think our loved ones are with us. Now the tv show charmed? Those witches rock! That is so sad what happened to your friend. How those people live with theirselves is beyond me. We had something similar happen. Dougs cousins wife who had cervical cancer died in feb. She had a best friend who recommended a dr who treated patients with natural means. There's a name for it, but I can't think of it. No chemo, no radiation. She was only 52. Left a 13 year old and a 19 year old. By the time they got her to a real dr it was too late. She kept it from her family. We all wonder how these drs can keep a license. It seems they could be charged with a crime. And Judy, that is crazy funny. Don't know if I could handle an evening like that. I would definitely have to have a cooler of cheer. That had to be an evening o laughs. And going to a physcic? Mot my cup of tea. Like cat, I have too much shit to deal with in the here and now. Don't anyone ruin my day by telling me what's on the way. Heeheehee.
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Oh, I love card readings and palm readings. Hell, I even had a toe reading about a month ago. I have a single friend who frequently has ladies' nights at her house and features something - a jewelry or handbag sale or a tarot reader or a psychic. The toe reading was bizarre. I used to go downtown Boston on the train when I was a kid, just to have my tea leaves read. If my mother knew, I was taking the train so young, she would've flipped out. But, at 12 yrs old, I babysat for a neighbor and chose to occasionally get my tea leaves or palm read, so I'd go downtown on my own. I don't put much weight in readings, but I love to hear what they have to say. Those people who talk to the dead... well, I think they're full of crap, but what do I know.
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Hey ya all: Don't mean to be a wet blanket. It just hit a nerve with me. Lynette had cervical cancer too. This is one of the brightest people I have ever known and she had not had a pap smear in the 8 years prior to being diagnosed. She was big into physics and my other friend, who was a physic, told her she would live a long life. She got that from other card readings, chart readings, etc. So she didn't do the normal shit we all do with pap smears and mammography's, etc.

She and I became friends when I was 21 years old. She and her husband, at the time, introduced me to the man I married. The guys were both with the Santa Barbara police department at the time. We had a close circle of friends and those were some of the happiest days of my youth. Lynette and I both worked for Security Pacific Bank in Santa Barbara so that is how we met and eventually how I met my husband.

She was such a special person and when me moved from SB in 1973, she and I stayed in touch and I visited her and she visited me. It's hard to loose someone who is such a part of your history and all the more tragic when it was not necessary.

So here's a toast to my dearest friend who I still miss to this day. Thank you all for letting me talk about her. God, I can remember picking her up on the way to work when my son was just 3 years old. She helped me find an apartment when my first husband and I split. My son would listen to the radio when we drove to work and the Jackson 5 were all the rage. Nick use to call them the 5 and Jack. His day care was just down the street from the bank we worked in.

Those were hard times and she was my best friend. Thanks again for letting me talk about her. She was such a good friend. Love to you all, Cattails.
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((((((((cat)))))))) I have lost a couple of girlfriends to cancer too - one was the girl next door who I grew up with, and one was a very good friend who was always the first one in the hospital with a gift when I had a new baby. It is hard as they are part of your life, and you hate to see them suffering. I don't think you have anything to apologize for on this thread or any other. I share your point of view in most of what you have written. The grief you are having with regard to moving your dad into an NH is probably triggering off the grief for your girlfriend. I have found it works that way, Your dad has moved to another stage in his life, closer to the end, and it is a form of loss.
Let us know what comes from your husband's tests. Are you having any apprehension over that?
big (((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Thanks Emjo: I think you are right on the money. Don't have a date on colonoscopy yet. Probably get a call early in the week. Yeah, I am a little apprehensive about that too. Lots of changes right now and funny how things come up. Thanks for your thoughts. It helps. Hugs, Cattails
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Never ever a wet blanket cat. Thank you for sharing with all of us. One of the wonderful mother/daughter moments mom shared with me before leaving this house was " I outlived the other three, I'll outlive your ass too". Wow! So I haven't had a pap smear in 5 years. Have the appointment the end of this month. And girls, I have a horrible fear of drs. I go tomorrow for my physical for my cdl and they usually have to take my blood pressure 2 or 3 times. I get so nervous and worked up. My bp is always fine. Last year I made them take it 1 more time. I told him I don't understand how anyone can be 50 and fat and not have high blood pressure. So here I go with the knots in my stomach thinking about it. Grrrrr. Gotta do it though. If not I won't get my dot for my cdl. Thoughts of it sure has ruined my Sunday. Sigh, Lisa
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Lisa you will feel so good after getting those appointments behind you so go do it girl.
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You'll be just fine - you know that. After the meat grinder you've been through, the doctor appointment should be a walk in the park. The doctor works for you. When I put it in that perspective, it gets easier.
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Lisa: I'm kind of foggy brained right now. What's a CDL. I can relate to your anxiety although it's a little different for me. I don't normally get nervous about checkups, but right now I know my BP is too high and I have gained weight since my dad was living with us. I really have to get focused on getting healthy. Hubby too.

Sometime back I went for a consult with my dad's doc about his care, etc. He's a really good doc and he's my doc and hubby's doc too. He took my BP after we had finished talking and it was 190/100. He said it was probably high due to the subject matter being emotional, etc. and we wanted me to have fasting blood work done and monitor by bp at home. I have monitored it and it came down quite a bit, but still too high. Never did follow through with the blood work. I will do that now.

So I will be getting the blood work done and start the journey of improving my health and well being. Hubby is a ditto.

Visited my dad today. He's bummed. The staff think he is sad too and are doing their best to help with his adjustment. I'll take him a cheeseburger for lunch on Tuesday and explain some things to him. I think it's time to tell him what I think he already knows and I am hoping in time he will realize that a lot of the people caring for him do genuinely care about him and his happiness.

Tough times. Keep my in your prayers. Love, Cattails
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Cat, a cdl is a commercial drivers liscense. Truck drivers require them and also school bus drivers. It means I'm legal to drive a vehicle with 15 or more passengers. A physician has to fill out a dot card each year stating I'm healthy enough to drive those passengers. And your dad? I really do believe with all my heart he will adjust. You will help him thru. And you have so much to look forward to. Start enjoying your retirement cat. You can accomplish that and have plenty of time and love to give to your dad. Please know I think of you each day and always you are in my prayers!! Lisa
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You all made me cry. I'm sorry this can feel so darn hard at times. Cat, your dad knows you love him, that's the most important thing. My husband needs me, you all hang in there. Luv to all
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Love all you guys. Cat
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get a restraining order against her and then she will have to leave the house!
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And we absolutely love you to bits too, Cattails. If we lived closer, I'd run over to your house and give you a big squeeze.
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Wish you did live closer, Judy. We'd be laughing out butts off every day. And we both know we want out butts to be smaller. Hugs my friend, Cattails
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My bp is so low, that the nurses think the machine is broken. I have to tell them that it's not the machine. It's very faint and they have to listen hard. Twice, they went and got the kiddies' bp machine! I tend to be normal or low blood. If I'm low blood, when I stand or move too suddenly, I get dizzy.

All the times I went to the hospital (ER and my 2 surgeries),the doctors worry over my heart beating at 30 or higher. I keep telling them it's normal. I'm just scared. I don't have thyroid...They don't listen. They hook me up to the EKG and they take blood tests for thyroid....It always comes back as normal.

Lisa, don't forget the mammo. Since I turned 40, I did my mammo. The very first time and the very first xray shot, I fainted from the pain. I woke up dangling from the machine with the tech behind me trying to hold me up at the same time trying to release me from the machine. I just wanted to cry and walk out. I think, this is one time growing up from a very dysfunction family helped. I knew if I walked out, I would Never, Ever do a mammo again. So, I gritted my teeth, and finished the xrays. Next time, I researched ahead of time online on ways of making mammos less painful. I saved the info and stored it on my CD and flashdrive. Then, when it's mammo time, I open it up for refresher. FYI, from experieince, when you take the Excedrin before the mammo, make sure you give it time to work!!! :)
Oh...I would have done the mammo every 2 or 3 years but my results consistently comes back with abnormal but they think it's benign and recommend yearly mammo. I thought this was normal since I always got this result from the beginning and from different clinics that I've gone to. It's not normal...Hate mammos more than paps...
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I just had to tell you how strong a person I think you are. It takes a strong person to take care of a nice family member but to take care of an abusive one....well cudos to you. I admire you for trying even though you must admit to yourself you had a feeling it was going to be a nightmare when you moved her in. But as children we feel we OWE them that. Well I am not here to tell you the horrors of my childhood, but lets just say that my parents didnt raise me. When i was 18, my ex husband suprised me by taking me to my mothers home. It was a long haul but we have forged the relationship of mother and daughter. I am caregiver and POA for her and my stepdad. BUT I have already made the decision, when they can no longer be on their own....they will NOT be staying here. Its a matter of survival! And you need to be sure to take extra care of that husband for putting up with the nightmare you guys have been living. Soooo proud of you for doing what YOU need to do for YOURSELF and your family! Praying for you ....keep the faith and your life will be back on track before you know it!
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Good morning everyone! I leave the house and halfway there to get my physical my phone rings. It was Jane. If only I could have looked at caller I'd while driving. :( she asked me how my mom was doing. Hello???? Mam it's been over 2 weeks since I've talked to her. Well, she went back to the hospital July 2. No Jane I didn't know. She dosen't call me. Remember? She hates my guts. So she wasn't aware that she was even released yet. I'm sure the withdrawals from pain Meds had her back in there. She asked me if I would call her and find out the situation. No mam, can't do that. She has absolutely refused to cooperate getting a poa thru the cty. Well I'm not doing it. But I did assure her when she feels she is making bad choices or she feels she is endangering herself she will have my support to have her placed in a facility to deal with her needs. So I get to dr and the call me back. Blood pressure 200/80. Grrrrr. Yeah it was the phone call. I explained to them and they figured as much because I was still on phone with her when I signed in. They heard much of the conversation. I'm so embaressed that apparently I was that loud. Dr explained to me I need to remove myself from what is causing my stress and anxiety, or I'm going to start having real problems with my BP. WELL YA THINK???? bp did come down thank goodness. So I get to drive my little angels/future convicts for another year. I'm sure myself or Doug will be getting one more phone call from Jane today. Not my problem!!!!
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Onechild: thank you for taking the time to read my journey and the compliment. It sounds like you've had quite the journey yourself. Forgiving your mom also proves your own strength. I'm so glad you've already made the decision they will not move in with you., lisa
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Yeah Lisa, you are getting so good at this. Not my problem!!!! Hugs, Cattails
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