My mother moved in with me when my oldest sister dies who lived with her. My brother died when I was 9. My mother and 2 sisters have been addicted to pain meds for years. One sister comitted suicide and the other who lived with mom died when her colon died. Her body couldnt even process the pain meds anymore. Years ago I made the decision to walk away and would only hear from mom when the oldest sister drained her accounts . When she died my moms accountwas charged 983 dollars in overdraft charges alone. So my only option was to move her in. She was in the hole over 2000.00. My husband and I discussed it. We felt this may be a chance to form a friendship if nothing else.
It has been a battle since after the first 3 months. When she accused my daughters fiance of stealing her pain pills I took control of them. She is forced to go to a pain management dr to get her pain meds every 3 months. She goes in my room searching for them while we work. She accuses me of stealing her money. There is nothing wrong with my moms mind. Just this month alone she has spent 732.00 at qvc. She has spent 1000's with qvc since shes been here. Mom has copd and has oxegen in her room. In comes the worst of the argument. She smokes a pack a day in her bedroom and often dosent turn the oxegen off. Im terrified she will cause an explosion and kill us with her. When I take the cigs it turns into a horrible argument. My mother has treated her grandchildren so horribly none have been to my home for 2 years. She has a sister who will not even answer her phone when she calls. She asked a cousin if she could move in and was told no. So she informed me that I would have to have a judge remove her from my home. I accepted years ago that my mom had no use for me. At 10 years old she informed me that she couldnt believe god took johnny instead of me. I heard that for years. I would cry untill I matured and realized she was the one messed up not me.
Now I am 50 years old and taking the verbal abuse again. I hear about how fat I am and dumpy I am. I buy a new outfit and get told I look rediculous. I need some help trying to figure out how to get her out of here. I had to give her the pain meds back last week because she threatened to quit taking her other medicines and she would accuse me of keeping them from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been happily married for 28 years to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We own our own home. She has her own room with a bath and never has anyone in my family not made her feel this wasnt her home too. We fix her plate every night, take her to dr. Appts, wash her clothes, and still she treats us this way. Anyone who can please guide me in the right direction I would be so grateful. I am so stressed. I cant sleep, ive gained 40 pounds and im tired everyday.
Have a blessed day
Lisa, you take the cake (chocolate that is) which is great. I gather that your mum is feeling better as she is causing more trouble - sigh - sad that it works that way.
Sounds like fil is surviving the chemo relatvely well, I suppose getting mil evaluated is somewhere on the list. That was hilarious about the elevator. LOL
I don't mind the miracle noodles (after they have been rinsed), and spaghetti squash is great! Sometimes I just eat the sauce and a salad. I got 10 lbs to go before I am the same weight I was over 35 yrs ago, before I had Gordie. It all went downhill after that.
everyone - stand your ground - look after you. I don't think I will even tell mother I wil be in town. She is as good as she can be, so a visit can wait till next time! I don't need to hear the rants again. I know them by heart. ♥
Lisa, you are an inspiration to all of us! GO LISA! You have come along way and I am proud to have read your thread and to see that hurtles you have taken. Ladies, all of you keep your chin up and your head held up high!!!
Emjo: Sorry to hear about your reaction to meds. Hope they have done their job and you can give them up soon.
Lisa: I don't think anyone has been locked up for laughing. I agree it's Not Your Problem.
Kimbee: Get well.
Love to all, Cattails
Way to go, Lisa!!! Hope you get what you need and start to feel better. I think my problem is with flavoured coffee, and a few others but not the straight water processed decaf type. That's a relief.
Good to se you here KimC1121. Hang in there!
Cat - I am off the meds - head got too weird - I see to be OK so far. I will try to liquid form and see, just in case I need it.
austin - your sanity is very much intact, and your years of experience are helpful!
kimbee - hope you are getting over that thing u have -
I hear a nap calling my name
(((((((hugs))))) all
Your mom could have her own soap. Not so much here in the states, but the BBC could work her in and the brits would tune in regularly to tell her to bugger off. I can see her arriving by cab to the local pub, coming in with her walker and sitting down to a nice bit of steak and kidney pie. One bite and she goes off on the waitress and then the bar tender, etc. So many twitches, so little time.
I hope you got to the care center and have some meds to help you kick this cold/sinus thing. Sorry about my imagination.
I am no glad it is NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
Love and Hugs, Cat
Cattails, LOVE the jack in the box comment. LOL!
Kimbee: Hope your feeling better as well!
Austin: Thank you! Everyone has made feel at home here! I think I will hang around awhile. I am already feeling better about my situation cause I have found I am not alone!
I use a diluted peroxide rinse for my sinuses - stings when it hits paydirt, but it keeps me away from antibiotics which uspet my gut
gotta tell you a couple of stories here - when I need to get in THAT mood I recall a couple of playground incidents - the first one was when Gordie was about 3 and the boys were playing in the payground around the corner from the house, One of the boys ran home and told me that another kid was threatening Gordie with a crowbar. Out I matched - part of what my daughter called the polyester pant brigade - hair in curlers, pink polyester pants and a t on and fluffy pink bedroom slippers. I went over to the kid, grabbed the crowbar and said "You want crow bar. I'll give you crowbar, and poked it in his directio. ,He turned around and started running home. I followed him all the way to his house, waving the crow bar at him all the way. There was no more trouble with crowbars or bullies on that playground. Some times you are in the ZONE and nobody better fool with you! Even better than that was the story of a very meek and proper lady who wouldn't say sh*t if her mouth was full of it, who told me that her youngest was being bullied on a playground, She went over to the bully, and told him to stop or she would beat him up, and then go to his home and kill his father! That was the ultimate threat. It is amazing what we can do when we are aroused!!! Kick Ass Ladies!!!
Lisa, they have seen you come out of the spiral, emerge from the tunnel, stronger than ever - that is what counts. the past is gone, but we can learn from it. Please don't feel bad.
Sisters are great - I have many but not blood related. Couldn't have survived or survive now without them.
Lost your mood - think crowbar - you want crowbar, (or whatever fits), I'll give you crowbar. I have another story which is worse. I was leaving the college one winter evening, and some kids grabbed my rear bumper for a slide on the ice. This is very dangerous. I stopped the car a couple of times to chase them away, but they came back. Finally i got far enough away and left them behind. A few hours later, I had to go back to work and there they still were - in the parking lot. I drove the car up and managed to pin a couple of them against the wire fence. Then I got out and said - "You want to die under my car wheels, then I want to watch!" I let them go and we never saw them again, Sometimes you gotta let them have it.
Sorry, I'm on a roll. Stay strong. Love, Cat
Judy: Your boys are to funny. Can't imagine where they get it. Falcon Punch!!
I guess the kick ass girls are going to have to get matching outfits. We can stuff our cottage cheese legs and our zip code butts into blue tights; put tuna cans over our boobs and go clear out a bar. Emjo can be the driver. Oh, Emjo, don't forget the crow bar. You know those stupid tennis shoes that had springs in them. Might work for the falcon punch.
Cat
Glad to know you have my back, Judy. Hahahahaha
too funny!!!! now I am having images of what sized can I could stuff myself into :)