My mother moved in with me when my oldest sister dies who lived with her. My brother died when I was 9. My mother and 2 sisters have been addicted to pain meds for years. One sister comitted suicide and the other who lived with mom died when her colon died. Her body couldnt even process the pain meds anymore. Years ago I made the decision to walk away and would only hear from mom when the oldest sister drained her accounts . When she died my moms accountwas charged 983 dollars in overdraft charges alone. So my only option was to move her in. She was in the hole over 2000.00. My husband and I discussed it. We felt this may be a chance to form a friendship if nothing else.
It has been a battle since after the first 3 months. When she accused my daughters fiance of stealing her pain pills I took control of them. She is forced to go to a pain management dr to get her pain meds every 3 months. She goes in my room searching for them while we work. She accuses me of stealing her money. There is nothing wrong with my moms mind. Just this month alone she has spent 732.00 at qvc. She has spent 1000's with qvc since shes been here. Mom has copd and has oxegen in her room. In comes the worst of the argument. She smokes a pack a day in her bedroom and often dosent turn the oxegen off. Im terrified she will cause an explosion and kill us with her. When I take the cigs it turns into a horrible argument. My mother has treated her grandchildren so horribly none have been to my home for 2 years. She has a sister who will not even answer her phone when she calls. She asked a cousin if she could move in and was told no. So she informed me that I would have to have a judge remove her from my home. I accepted years ago that my mom had no use for me. At 10 years old she informed me that she couldnt believe god took johnny instead of me. I heard that for years. I would cry untill I matured and realized she was the one messed up not me.
Now I am 50 years old and taking the verbal abuse again. I hear about how fat I am and dumpy I am. I buy a new outfit and get told I look rediculous. I need some help trying to figure out how to get her out of here. I had to give her the pain meds back last week because she threatened to quit taking her other medicines and she would accuse me of keeping them from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been happily married for 28 years to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We own our own home. She has her own room with a bath and never has anyone in my family not made her feel this wasnt her home too. We fix her plate every night, take her to dr. Appts, wash her clothes, and still she treats us this way. Anyone who can please guide me in the right direction I would be so grateful. I am so stressed. I cant sleep, ive gained 40 pounds and im tired everyday.
Have a blessed day
provided! Very grateful we were able to get our regular p/t CG to come along. In spite of having lots of family "helpers", we would not have had a free min. w/o her help. Live n learn! Next trip will be just us-n CG w mom at home! Our p/t help had accepted a new job that would mean less hours for mom, just as we need more. She called today to say she decided against the job in favor of more time w us-whoohoo! Love all the healthy diet n food talk, holiday rituals n comfort of being here among you all. Austin, sorry to hear ur mom was so terrible to u, glad u can set limits n hope u can hold ur ground when bro's do their part, or not. Cat, it must have been hard to pick up dad's ashes. I loved hearing he'll be there n with your mom. I hope u can get your family there soon. Book, take care of yourself, sorry to hear u got hurt. Hope u r feeling better. Lisa, sorry to hear MIL lunch wasn't as u hoped. Glad sister visit went well n sad another death in family. Joan, U r amazing-carried firewood past 70? Go girl! Glad to hear driveway is clearing out! When I met DH he had an old car in front yard. Finally, after several years, got him to move it, n he ruined the best view from the house by parking it in our only water view! haha. I have lovely pix of deer playing in the back yard w the dusty car in the background! Hope ur vehicles go far! Sad for ur DD, hope she will get turned around soon. Glad u r so smart. Hugs n prayers to all, luv kim
You will be very glad to know that Survived2's mother has been more-of-less forcibly removed from the home. Survived2 (Lisa) is one of those rare individuals who asked for advice, thought it over, and then followed the advice! It wasn't a miracle and it didn't happen without some bumps in the road, but she accomplished what she wanted. Now she is facing a different kind of problem with her beloved in-laws, who have health issues.
If you would like to read a very inspiring story as these events unfolded, I recommend reading the whole long thread. Better than a novel!
The Christmas plans sound great too! We too don't have big Christmases anymore because of family moving too far away. I also miss having everyone here. It is just hubby, mom, sis and me. However, this Thanksgiving my son and daughter and son-in-law will be here, so I am excited about that!!
Kimbee~I am glad you got away for awhile and taking the CG along was a good idea. I don't know what I will do next year in regards to my mother, I know she will be more advanced with the Alzheimer's.
Austin~I am sorry to hear about your mother being ill and how horrible she was to you. Stand strong against your brothers!
Joan~The stinking thinking/dry drunk attitude can wear you down. Keeping a distance is good. I hope things improve!!
Hoping all you ladies have a wonderful day and with those gold star tuna cans...no need for underwires, Lol!!
having a hard time keeping up with ya'll; doing well down here in TX.
I made a great pumpkin soup tonight. Only needed pumpkin, apple, onion and carrot. Then you add some chicken stock or veg. stock. Called for 2 cups of cream, but the soup was so good as it was, I omitted the cream. It was so good and very healthy. Let me you if you want the recipe.
Love, Cat
4 TBS butter
2 onions diced
4 carrots diced
2 apples diced
4 cups fresh roasted pumpkin, diced
2 TBS fresh sage chopped
4 cups veg broth or chicken broth**** see note
salt and freshly ground pepper
Take a sweet pumpkin, (aka sugar pumpkin) smaller type meant for pies and cut it up. Scoop out seeds (save them for roasting) cut into smaller pieces and rub with olive old, salt and pepper. Bake at 400 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes. You want it soft, but not mushy. Let cool, peal off skin.
In a stockpot over medium heat, melt butter and saute onion, carrot, apple, roasted pumpkin and sage until all are tender. I got everything going in the pot and put the lid on to help retain moisture. Keep temp low once things heat up and just stir until all veg. are soft. Probably 30 minutes.
Take every thing from the pot and puree in a blender or food mill. Return puree to pot and add chicken or veg broth and simmer for 15 minutes.
Note: This recipe called for 6 cups of chicken broth and 2 cups of cream. The cream is completely unnecessary because the soup has an amazing flavor without it. The six cups of broth made the soup a bit thin and that why I suggest 4 cups instead of six. So start with 4 cups and see what you think. Add more if necessary. Great with some healthy croutons.
There's plenty of soup for tomorrow night. You can freeze the left over soup for another night.
Hope you enjoy it. Cat
All the talk about xmas makes me sad. I run away from xmas. I take the tree down as soon as its over and we try to take xmas trips to get away from Mom. I guess that's the tradition I leave to my kids - a xmas trip!
Good to be back. I really did miss reading up on what's going on. Now.... I've got to get back on that diet! Pumpkin soup sounds delicious, Cat!
Emjo - is that a new picture? You look great. Stay warm. Wish I could send you some of this desert sunshine!
Cat: just showed Jen the pumpkin soup recipe. Guess what's for dinner Saturday? How fitting you'll be spreading dads ashes where moms were spread.
How I wish I could invite you all to my home for the holidays. Just love you guys so much!!!!!
Judy, you will probably gag on this one, but I juiced some fresh produce today for a healthy green drink. Here it is: 2 large cucumbers, 5 stalks of kale, 5 romaine leaves, 4 stalks of celery, 2 big broccoli stems and 2 apples. Best to use organic produce for this. It was pretty good. I'll definitely do it again. Hubby liked it too.
It's so easy to pack on the pounds when you are a care giver and stressed out. I've got 38 that need to go. Bought a beautiful squash the other day. It is so pretty, kind of a pale blue and really large, like a pumpkin, only more flat. There was a couple at the produce stand and they told me it is delicious. It's called Sweet Meat. They also told me it was really hard to cut, in fact it seems to require a hatchet, so this will definitely be an outdoor opening event. That will be hubby's job.
I'm not racing with the weight loss. Just trying to be kind to myself and just putz around with some new things. We'll see how it goes.
Joan I have a good cauliflower soup recipe too (no milk or cream). I should try it with broccoli sometime.
For those who try the pumpkin soup, let me know what you think.
Hugs, Cat
Hugs, Cat
Jane, if you're referring to Lisa/Survived2, her mother has been out of the house for months now. Its a great thread to read if you have the time.
Punch - your husband sounds like a hoot... je suis d'accord!