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Things have been a bit a roller coaster here with mom since the first week into Oct. She needs daily help to function at her best but we are not able to give to her daily because sis and I both work. Without sounding selfish, I will not give up my job even tho it is only part time cuz I need the money and the break. Sis needs her job cuz she is by herself. On Sunday evening mom called me (it was all I could do not to laugh) wanting to know if I took her freezer racks...why would I need her freezer racks, Lol!! I told her what I always say when she can't find something, its there at your house you probably don't remember taking them out, I do that all the time too mom. I am going thru changes in what I call growing up...during the last month, I have started to see my mother as a person...not just mom who has been abusive, nasty and difficult. I am and always have an emotional person with my heart on my shirt sleeve, so I switch back and forth from deep sadness at losing my mother to this disease and being angry, especially her treatment of my father...how she emasculated him over the years. Yes I know I can't champion him now that he is gone and that he let it happen...
The wonderful news is that we will have our son, daughter, and son-in-law here for Thanksgiving. My daughter and son-in-law will not be staying with us because since moving to Idaho with the drier climate, my sil has developed asthma and is allergic to cats. My kitty is an indoor/outdoor kitty and would be impossible to make the house allergy free. I am going all out in making Thanksgiving a great one for everyone here as it is the first Thanksgiving with both my children here in 2 years and, I believe it will be the last Thanksgiving with mom living at home. Halloween is not a big deal with us since my work schedule is a swing shift and hubby has been working overtime since June.
I have finally gotten all the sanding done in my daughters old room...smoothing out the horizontal lines of paint build up due to a wains coating on 3 walls. I hope to paint next week!! I am excited to get this room going since I have working on it for several month as we have the $$. Next will be saving for flooring in that room.
I send lots of hugs to everyone...Lisa, Jeanne, Kimbee, Austin, Cat, JudyW, Punch and Judy,Joan and everyone else!! Sharyn
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i'm sorry i haven't been in, but i'm not pleasant company. while i was in Tx, before i left, i had written a very very long message here to everyone, but after i submitted it, this site ate it with an error message and it was gone. to this day i have no idea what was in it. my brain is such mush with the medication, there is no way of getting something like that back. so i was depressed. i can't remember if i told ya'll they tripled my gabapentin? my speech is slurred, my typing is off, my thinking is fuzzy. so i don't even leave the house unless i have to.

my emotions are all over the place. no. they are mostly down. i miss David horribly. the pain is getting to me. i'm on facebook because i can pretend to be happy there for a little while. mostly i just comment on other people's stuff. then i feel like i should delete most of it. i will probably want to delete this. sorry again. i know ya'll are in worse places than i am.
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Pamula I am so sorry and hope you feel better soon-I have been away for about 6 weeks first a wedding then a funeral for my mother so I have missed big chuncks of others lives-keep posting that is a good way to put your feeling down in words and here others will be able to help you feel better.
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Pam! I've missed you. I'm sorry you're feeling like crap. Austin is right, keep coming back and blabbing - even if its just a rant or a complaint or a big, bummed out comment - it may be a sort of therapy for you, and, well, you've been missed, so I'll take what I can get!!
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Pam: so sorry your feeling bad! Absolutely, rant away. We KAW do that because we know someone is always here to listen. We are professional ranters.
Austin: so glad your back with us. You sound much better. You've had a lot dumped on you since sandy. Hope your getting some rest.
Cat has been on my mind. So much everyone is going thru these last couple months. Love everyone! Lisa
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Thank you KAW. after reading myself last night i got disgusted, so i tried to work a little around the house. little things i should have been doing all along. i'm almost done filling my new pretty file box, it's a seagrass one and i bought pretty color file folders. someday my house will be nice. hopefully before the Mary Kay party my daughter is throwing here in early december! O.O

Austin, i meant to tell you last night how awesome you were to tell the pastor off!

i know the holidays are often hard for people, i hope you will all find ways to find joy in it. i'm going to try.
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Greetings to everyone! Holidays can be both stressful and joyful ... sometimes concurrently!

We have not gotten together on Thanksgiving Day for many years. Instead we have our gathering later, often on Saturday or Sunday. That allows grandkids who work in restaurants to participate better and everyone to go to in-laws if applicable. When we do get together it is about 25 people.

This year the gathering will be at my house, because Coy is basically bed-bound. I specified that all I'll offer is the setting, not any of the preparation. We are doing it on Sunday the 18th and not doing the traditional turkey. Instead the theme is Italian food. Several family members are gathering at my granddaughter's house tomorrow and doing homemade ravioli with several meat and vegetarian fillings and sauces (No, no Italian ancestry in the family, but we are all dedicated foodies.)

Maybe Coy can join us for a little while. Or he can entertain a few people at a time from his hospital bed. We all know how to play it by ear, don't we?
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Jeanne, that sounds like fun. I always used to feel so torn on Thanksgiving when both my parents and inlaws would ask us to dinner. We'd end up doing dinner at one house and dessert at the other, alternating it every year, running around stressed. It was no fun. I like the no stress/no turkey Saturday dinner at your house idea much better. I hope Coy can join everyone.
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Yes Jeanne, it does sound like fun. This thanksgiving we have run into a delimma. My nephew from Alabama who can't make it Xmas is sneaking in thanksgiving with his wife and 1 year old son.sil having dinner at her house. Pils have not yet met their great grandson. So when they walk in they will be so happy and surprised. My delimma you ask? My niece dawn. (daughter of sis who died 2 hrs ago) and her 3 daughters. My nephew Jason and niece Shannon. (clidren of sis who took her own life. If I don't have dinner here the 5 of them will spend it alone. And my wonderful husband has said we WILL have dinner here. So we've made plans for sil to call us when they are picking ray and Mary up to take them over and we will pop over for an hour. They all are very understanding. I'm having a hard time understanding why Mary won't come here Xmas eve like they have for years. Wants no tree up or for us to put any of their lights up. I tell myself their whole life has changed this pastbyear and it may feel overwhelming for her. I am so looking forward to the holidays this year. The past 2 has just been going through the motions. We all need this togetherness the holidays bring for us.
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Just wanted everyone to know S is doing amazingly well after M's passing.... she took a lot of care and time, he got lost in the shuffle and busywork some days...He is sleeping alot , which is a good thing, is starting to look more like his old self, and has not asked for M one time that I know of... when we took him to the funeral home he let it all out then... and asked a few times during all the people in and out of the house... but seems to have settled in and is laughing more.... only God knows how this will be in the long run, but we are all grateful he is doing so well...
The family is thinking of placing him after the first of the year... at first I was not ok with this, but the more I see him adjusting, the more I know he will be happier around more people during the day than what we can provide for him... I did ask the daughter if I could start taking him to the Senior Center, for some reason M never wanted him to go.... but she said yes, so when I go back after my week off, him and I will have a great adventure everyday..... hope everyone here is fine.... taking some time for themselves... think about you all... hugs...
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That is great that you will take S to the senior center. We had some displaced women from L.I. at our senior center -where they live the storm caused havoc-we made them feel welcome and they enjoy themselves-we have a great group at our table-most of the people are very nice then you get the complainers who never offer to help with anything -just sit there and be grumpy and complain.
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Hi friends, hope everybody has a good week. Ladee, is this your week off? Hope you get lots of rest and some rocks that soothe your soul. Lisa, teepa snow (OT dementia care trainer) will be speaking in Lville-can find the info via alz foundation or Senior helpers. Would be so worth it to take off-will give you some life changing skills for the future. I hope you are all rolling along ok. Sorry to hear Mary doesn't want the usual Christmas. My FIL was easily confused n upset by overstimulation, noise n lots of activity. But the grandkids always cheered his heart, never overwhelmed by them in a home setting. Thinking of Cat-if you r checkin by, I'm sad for you and your family and glad you are there with them. Sending love your way. And to all the other KAW too! kimbee
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i decided to take the husband out to one of those free Veteran's dinner things. i earned it. and he is the only one i could think of to take. we went to applebees. good food, great service. i think i will heat the leftovers now. *smile*

how is everyone doing today?
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Okay, where the hell is everybody? I'm having a shitty week and I look on this thread for my friends, and its like walking into an empty, cold, lonely house. Jeez. Are you all having fun somewhere else without me? Helloooooo????? Lisa? Pam? Joan? Cat? Kimbee? Austin? Jeanne? Ladee? Punch? Jessie? Beanie? Sharyn? Book? Am I missing anyone? Probably.
I'm on red alert here. Search parties stand by. Putting new batteries in my flashlight. My friends on this thread are missing. I'm on the verge of launching the search.The light is not on, on this thread, and no one is home. But me. :(
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Judy, one friend present and accounted for. I read often but don't write so much on here. Coy's hospice nurse will be here soon. Our son just returned from a week out of town and has to be brought up to speed on the household maintenance chores that accumulated in his absence. Daughter who has been here from Montana for a week and a half is working with the PCA to decorate the party rooms for out 25+ person Italian dinner on Sunday. I hope that will help give the PCA something to think about besides her father who had a stroke yesterday. Meanwhile I am working on filing the mountains of paper I have finally sorted and purged.

So ... busy here to the point of being frantic, but not a lot to talk about.

Jeanne
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Judy, I agree it has been very quiet here on this thread. Everyone Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
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Judy~Lol!! Are you sending out cyber search parties??
I too haven't had much to say for a change, working more hours. My mom tried to cancel her LTC policy, luckily it has a 60 day grace period and I talked her into writing a check yesterday so I could mail it for her.
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Hey jude - posted and lost the whole thing. Share your shiity week with us. A burden shared is a burden halved.
jeanne -hope the big dinner goes off well. Glad to hear you made progress with your paper pile. Hope Coy is as good as possible.
diavalon - good to hear from you
Kimbee- hope your head is still above water, and you got mum's toenails done, and your own!
austin - let us know how u r
Pamela - dinner out was a nice idea. How are ur health issues?
Lisa - glad it is quiet with you. Long may it last. We have spent too much time on the energy vampires. How are Jen and Chris, Beth, Ray and Mary and, of course, you and Doug. Been wondering about Jen and her health problems.
everyone - let us know how you are
recent nail polish story - had to glue a gel back on. G helped and glued his fingertip to my nail. Bonded for life lol! Actually he pulled it off and left a little skin behind, but the gel is on firmly. We have booked flights to the east for early December. It will be a combination of business and pleasure, and, hopefully a side trip to Niagara Falls. It should be warmer there, even if it is winter, and a nice break. Mother is quiet for now - long may it last Love and hugs to everyone Joan
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Hi everyone: We got home late Wednesday night and spent yesterday catching up with errands, some yard work, laundry, etc. The memorial service for my nephew was last Saturday and it was a difficult day. The service was very nice and the place was just packed with lots of young 30 somethings. Dameron really had so many friends. After the service, everyone went to Rick and Cyn's house. It was a long and emotional day for them. After Saturday, we did have some wonderful time together, just the 4 of us. On Monday, we had a small family dinner with grand kids and that was a lot of fun. On Tuesday, the four of us drove to the coast and spent the day at Cambria. We hated to leave them on Wednesday, but were glad to get home and reclaim our dogs Thursday morning. I'm feeling a bit tired and lazy. Got to get caught up on yard work. Lots of lavender to cut back and other tasks to do while weather permits.

So count be present and accounted for and no long MIA. Judy, sending you good wishes for a better week.

Love to all, Cattails
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Well, I'm starting to feel better already! Got some people back!
Jeanne, I hope Sunday is a great time. Lasagna...ravioli...manicotti...cannoli's... ricotta pie... I'll put on some stretchy pants and sneak in. You sound like you'll have a house full and one more wouldn't even be noticed. :)
Eh, Joan, the shitty week is just a bunch of little things that add up, you know? If I were to list them, I'd look like a sniveler, and none of it is really worth mentioning. I just get so tired of being the family complaint department and whipping girl. I hope the trip east is fun. Niagara Falls sounds nice but cold! Its been chilly here at night. I actually busted out the flannel shirts.
Cat, I'm glad you're back and accounted for. I love lavender. Hope you cut some for the house. Do you dry it? Are you just drained from the emotional trip?
Sharyn, I was going to post on everyone's walls if people didn't start showing up!
Diavalon, I missed you in the round-up - my apologies. Glad I'm not the only one who thought this thread was too dang quiet.
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Hi Judy and all! I have been stopping here daily but not much action. I felt bad about not commenting on Pam's post but got envious about their delicious night out. Pam, I'm no longer jealous. I, too, finally had delicous expensive hotel food for lunch yesterday. Airline hosted lunch - seafood was the theme. YUM!!! A Lot of No-no's. Needless to say, I stuffed myself and just Had to push it by filling my plate with dessert! I was miserable the whole afternoon - I should have stopped being a glutton Before the dessert. But that main course was soooo delicious going down...

You all will be getting very busy soon with thangsgiving coming up next week. I'm glad I finally persuaded family to quit the turkey. Every year, they bake the darn bird and No One Eats It!!!! We - as in my dad and I - get stuck with it. I love chicken but I Do Not Like at all Turkey. So, every year, it sits in our fridge until finally we throw it out. So, now, family don't bake the turkey, and no more wasting of food. Later!

And Cat, welcome home!
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cat - sorry I missed you. I had you in my original post that vanished - pfft! Been thinking of you and wondering how it went. Glad that lots of friends showed for the funeral. It is always good gettng home isn't it? I am jealous - you can grow lavender!!! Wonderful colour and scent. Wish I could wear it but I smell like an old tom cat when I put it on, Bet the dogs were sooo happy to see you
jude - if you listed them we would understand. I feel the same way you do now. It is not that many things at present are THAT bad - a few are. A lot of it is just the continual DRIP DRIP DRIP that falls on areas that have been bruised for years, and it is very draining, and depressing. The only thing that helps me is to create space from it, and then some healing happens. Being a whipping girl is hard on a person - don't underestimate the effect it has on you. Ontario is 48 degrees now, and it is 25 here so it will be a great improvement.
The chutney is on hold for now - between fibro, and then some arthritis acting up, and my apparent need to hibernate, I am not getting much done, but I am catching up on sleep, which is good. Had my blood work done over 3 weeks ago, and no call back, so I assume all is well. At my age that is something to be thankful for, and I am.
hang in there sharyn -sounds like you are going from one crisis or mini crisis to the next
book - sounds like you had quite a feast - sea food YUM! You don't like turkey!!! I love it. I had some Filipino ladies over one Christrmas, and they didn't like it either, (preferred chicken) though they tried a little. They wouldn't touch the stuffing, or the Christmas pudding. Better to make your own traditions - maybe italian food like Jeanne, or seafood.
Jeanne, sorry about the PCA's dad - not easy for her.
hugs to all
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Joan~Lol!, I think I am adjusting and growing as each mini crisis comes about. I didn't stress at all this time and honestly I thought oh well...it's not my problem if we can't get it reinstated, she will have to pay out of pocket for all of her care. Anyway, I finally found a leopard print shirt!!! It has a scoop neck with blk/bronze beading around the neck line. Plus I bought a pr. of dangling earrings (grape cluster of beads) blk/bronze and the bottom bead is animal print. I have looked online, and at 4 stores the last couple days...got it at Dress Barn.I sent a pic to my daughter asking her if she thought I was having a midlife crisis, Lol!!
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I have tons of lavender. Judy, I don't dry it, at least I haven't so far. The bees love it in the summer and the little birds eat seeds from the smaller varieties in the fall. I don't know how many plants I have, but over 60 I'm sure. Lots of the smaller varieties will re-seed, so I have little plants that come up and I will pot them and replant in other locations. I have a lot of the Grosso too. That's the really large variety and is often used for oil. It does not re-seed, at least not in my yard.
So lots of plants to cut back and shape. And that's just the lavender. I've got lots of sage plants and mint. Some of the mint I have against a section of our fence and it grows to 5 feet. It's beautiful when it blooms in late summer. Got to cut it down too.

Planted some Borage seed this year. I love Borage and it's little edible blue flowers. It re-seeds also, so I'll never have to plant that again. Two years ago, a friend gave me a ton of baby Rock Rose starts and I planted a hedge to separate our vegetable garden and fruit trees from the yard so the dogs wouldn't run through the raised veg. beds. They have really taken off and next year I can take down the wire fencing we put up because the hedge will be filled in completely. Nice wind break too for the cool weather crops. Next year, I will plant some Nasturtiums along side the Rock Rose hedge and let it grow into the hedge. It will continue to bloom after the Rose Rose is done. Should be very pretty.

My greenhouse is up and the electrician will be out, hopefully the end of this month, and put some electrical outlets in it. So I'll get an early start on Nasturtium seeds next year and have a bunch of them to put along the hedge.

When we picked up the dogs on Thursday, I went out to pick up dog poop in the yard. Didn't get to it before we left. So while I was doing that, I came across a nice pile of elk poop too. We immediately went over to check the fruit trees and sure enough, they had jumped the fence (only 4 1/2 feet) taken the rest of the pears and apples and pruned the pear tree for us. That's what happens when you leave home. Oh well, no big damage.

This year the pears were really small and not that good so I pitched most of them over the fence for the coyotes and elk to munch. Did the same with most of the apples because I just didn't have the time to peel, slice and freeze them or make applesauce. I never consider that a waste. I'm happy to see it go to good use and back to nature.

I've got to get the raspberries cut back and the asparagus ferns too. Hopefully we will have a good amount of fresh asparagus in the the spring. The raspberries were amazing this year, but again I wasn't really able to make the best of it due to time issues with my dad. The strawberry beds need to be thinned and covered with straw.

I didn't plant the veg garden this year and we have had a bumper crop of baby quail this spring and summer. They have had a great time taking dirt baths in the plant free raised beds. It's not unusual to see 25 plus quail in our yard. Fortunately, the dogs don't chase them so they've learned it's a pretty safe place for them here. The dove too.

Judy, yes I'm glad to be home. Back to my peaceful little valley and all my winged and 4 legged friends. I always feel blessed to be here. I didn't feel emotionally exhausted from the trip to CA, but my heart just broke for Rick and Cyn. Cynthia had a very hard time at the memorial and then everyone came to their place and so many of the people were younger and just didn't realize that they should leave. The memorial service was at 1pm and the crowd didn't leave Rick and Cyn's house until 10pm. I thought that was a bit much and somewhat inconsiderate. Of course there was a big BBQ (done by friends who do it professionally) and deep bit beef, pilaf, chili beans, salad, garlic bread, Italian sausage and much more, but it was ready to eat at 3pm and there was no reason for everyone to stay so late, but they all brought their own beer, etc. and the outdoor weather was nice so they overstayed their welcome. That is just my opinion. So I was feeling bad for Rick and Cyn, because they WERE emotionally drained and exhausted. So many of these people were friends of their children so they were all catching up and sharing stories, etc. Most had designated drivers, but some didn't and arrangements had to be made to get them home safely.

I was amazed at how much Visalia has grown since we left. The place has exploded with new housing developments and stores. It's so different and I am so glad I don't live there anymore. I was so happy to leave there when we retired and even more so now. We took a day and went to Cambria, a little coastal town that Warren and I always loved and visited often. I would have loved to move there back in the day, but it's just not affordable on the Ca coast. It just didn't hold the same charm for me. Lots of the places I loved to visit had gone out of business and it just wasn't the coastal oasis I remembered. What I mean by that is it wasn't as beautiful as I remembered it to be. Not saying I couldn't live there or that it isn't beautiful. Just saying I'm happy to be where I am. I guess I really am home.

Enough of my rambling. It's just good to talk about the things I'm grateful for.

Jeanne: I'm thinking about you and sending you my love.

Love to all of you my sisters. Cattails
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Hi everyone! I'm back ! We have been without Internet. I've been doing everything by phone and it's so hard to get on this sight on my phone. But now we have new netgear. PIL update: they are doing well health wise. Fil had a phonecall from whom he thought was agent for his insurance cancer policy. He gave them his ss# so they could verify it was him. Short of it. Wasn't insurance. Fraud. Total so far is 6000.00 charged and bought in his name. We don't know what he was thinking. But we're on it. We contacted life loc and they are on the job. They are amazing. No other credit can be approved without going thru them, and they told us they can track the person down in most cases. The hits just keep coming. Thank the good lord he's looking at the bills that come in now and let us know immediately. Things been calm with DQ the last couple of weeks. Only a couple of messages. One sweet as honey and the other sour apples when the call wasn't returned. Answering machines are the best technology. :))) I'll be back tomorrow. Can barely keep my eyes open. Cat: I've thought of you continuously. I'm glad your home safe and you were able to be with your family. And lord girl, if I ever seen elk poo in my yard I'd never leave my house again. Can't imagine that. Judy! While reading here on my phone I thought the same. So glad to be back tonight and everyone posting. I love you guys!!!! Lisa
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cat -such a beautiful description of your outside "home" -I felt I was walking through it with you. Elk poo eh? I have had deer poo and bear poo, but not elk poo, and we are in the middle of a residential area. Your flowers etc sound absolutely lovely, and I am with you on returning things to nature. Re the apples, you can make applesauce, chutneys, even apple pie with the skins still on - learned this from Gary -they didn't waste anything. I would do less with apples if I had to peel them. I have a gadget - apple corer and wedger together. It does the job quickly.Love the borage, rock roses, lavender and sage. Sounds like a beatles song.
Lisa -glad you are back with internet again. Alaska eh? Now we know your birthday is in December -what day???? Sorry to hear about the fraud. People who do this are truly twisted. Life lock sounds like a good thing. I hope they can recover it and the person is charged -what a parasite on society!!! Hopfully DQ will stay quiet for a loooong time!
sharyn -your blouse sounds great -love the idea of bronze and black beading. I have been wanting a bronze sequin (or something) top for some time. The earrings sound like fun. I nearly bought a pair of animal print earrings - maybe I will now lol You are taking the minicrises in your stride very well these days. Way to go!
judy - something good came out of your shitty day! (((((hugs))))
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Thanks, Joan. Glad you enjoyed the walkabout in my yard.

Lisa: Good to hear from you. Sorry about the identity theft with PIL. I agree with Joan, these people are parasites on society. I hope they are caught and I hope the $6,000.00 they have managed to charge will not require payment from your PIL.


Sharyn: That sounds like a sexy outfit. Maybe the KAW should add some animal print earrings to their outfits.

Book: I'm glad you got to have such a wonderful meal. How nice that you could enjoy something prepared by others and just relax. You deserve some special times.

Judy, my heart goes out to you. You are treading water in a giant funk pool. You have a lot on your plate with your parents and your brother. Sending you a giant cyber hug.

Love to everyone, Cat
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Hi Lisa! I forgot to include you in my earlier post. I even wanted to comment about PIL and the identity theft. Slipped my mind. As you know, these people prey on the elderlies. I have told father repeatedly – do not tell anyone anything if they call you or visit you at the door. One day, as I was looking over his bank statement, I saw this small amount of money withdrawn from his bank account. I asked him and he said a man called and dad gave him his bank’s name. He insisted that he did not give his bank account number. Just his name, address and bank name. I had him call the bank. We had to go in and put a stop payment on the automatic withdrawal of that said amount. So, whenever I see these news in TV, I will still tell dad about people calling long distance pretending to be the elderly’s son or grandson saying that they’re stranded in Mexico or going to be kicked out of the apartment cuz no rent – can grandpa send them money? Ask for the bank account. I told father NOT to give (but know that if he does get the call – he WILL give it thinking it’s his grandson needing help.) I have to constantly remind him. It finally worked. Just recently, a person claiming to be his case worker called asking all these info (DOB, etc..) he refused to give anything. Unfortunately, it WAS the nurse from the clinic! … =)
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Not his case worker like he thought. He called up the clinic asking for information and left a message. The nurse called back. Before they release any info, you need to verify you are who you say you are. Hence the questions! Dad figured it was one of those scammers trying to scam him!
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The scams have been in my area since Sandy -storms seem to give people permission to scam in greater numbers. Our senior center has someone from the shariff's office come in and talk to the seniors and find out what scams are out there and he can give information about not giving out information about your accounts or your SS no.
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