My mother moved in with me when my oldest sister dies who lived with her. My brother died when I was 9. My mother and 2 sisters have been addicted to pain meds for years. One sister comitted suicide and the other who lived with mom died when her colon died. Her body couldnt even process the pain meds anymore. Years ago I made the decision to walk away and would only hear from mom when the oldest sister drained her accounts . When she died my moms accountwas charged 983 dollars in overdraft charges alone. So my only option was to move her in. She was in the hole over 2000.00. My husband and I discussed it. We felt this may be a chance to form a friendship if nothing else.
It has been a battle since after the first 3 months. When she accused my daughters fiance of stealing her pain pills I took control of them. She is forced to go to a pain management dr to get her pain meds every 3 months. She goes in my room searching for them while we work. She accuses me of stealing her money. There is nothing wrong with my moms mind. Just this month alone she has spent 732.00 at qvc. She has spent 1000's with qvc since shes been here. Mom has copd and has oxegen in her room. In comes the worst of the argument. She smokes a pack a day in her bedroom and often dosent turn the oxegen off. Im terrified she will cause an explosion and kill us with her. When I take the cigs it turns into a horrible argument. My mother has treated her grandchildren so horribly none have been to my home for 2 years. She has a sister who will not even answer her phone when she calls. She asked a cousin if she could move in and was told no. So she informed me that I would have to have a judge remove her from my home. I accepted years ago that my mom had no use for me. At 10 years old she informed me that she couldnt believe god took johnny instead of me. I heard that for years. I would cry untill I matured and realized she was the one messed up not me.
Now I am 50 years old and taking the verbal abuse again. I hear about how fat I am and dumpy I am. I buy a new outfit and get told I look rediculous. I need some help trying to figure out how to get her out of here. I had to give her the pain meds back last week because she threatened to quit taking her other medicines and she would accuse me of keeping them from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been happily married for 28 years to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We own our own home. She has her own room with a bath and never has anyone in my family not made her feel this wasnt her home too. We fix her plate every night, take her to dr. Appts, wash her clothes, and still she treats us this way. Anyone who can please guide me in the right direction I would be so grateful. I am so stressed. I cant sleep, ive gained 40 pounds and im tired everyday.
Have a blessed day
I here what you are saying about scams, but my heart goes out to those older people who are overwhelmed and hanging on through so many upheavals. It's always been this way, people preying on the elderly, but now they seem so much more able. Well, I hope there is a special hot place for them. Everyone deserves forgiveness, but could we just roast them for a few minutes or let them feel the pain they have inflicted before letting them off the hook?
Actually, I did sign up for a prepared, delivered meal for Thursday, from Hospice. At first I turned it down, because my sister is preparing extra and will send meals home with our son, but then I got to thinking about being here alone with Coy all day and thought a delivered meal would be a nice treat. Sis's meal will be for Friday. (She is an awesome cook.)
There were 30 people here for a home-made ravioli feast Sunday. That's a lot of people to cram into a rambler for a sit-down meal! Son Pat set up an additional dining room table in the living room, and two folding banquet tables in the family room and it worked out. I didn't do ANY of the cooking. It was good to have family around and to hear all the laughter and giggles. But I really felt subdued.
Coy slept through the entire event. Everyone there had seen him within the last two weeks, with one exception. When he was up to use the bathroom I asked his daughter if her mother would like to say hello to him, and I kept him awake while his ex-wife made her way into the bedroom. I thought it may well be the last time she could see him, so they had a very brief time together.
I hope that each of you in the US has a calm/exciting/restful/stimulating Thanksgiving, as appropriate for your particular needs.
Thanksgiving for us will be a little lackluster. I was looking forward to cooking this year and having our son and his girlfriend over. I was really looking forward to a good game of tiles. We played this a lot when we visited Rick and Cyn and it's so much fun. I really miss it. Shows you what I will do to play tiles; cook a whole Thanksgiving feast for that time of fun after dinner.
Weill, Nick has to work much of the day, so he suggested we go out to eat. No problem; I can always cook a turkey and it's best to be flexible.
Wish I could get all of you around the table for a good game of tiles.
Happy Thanksgiving and make the best of whatever comes your way.
Love, Cat
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone enjoy your families and friends.
Hope everyone can have a good turkey day. Doesn't have to be on Thursday and most of all, it's just a time to be truly grateful.
Maybe we should just start posting things we are grateful for and acknowledge that no matter what is happening in our lives, we are fortunate in many ways. Sometimes I'm just grateful that I was born in the US. Didn't earn it, just happened that way. Think of all the places we could be; in Africa, Gaza, Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan; the list goes on. Worst case scenario, I'll be here and safe.
Wishing you all safety and love. Cat
And Cat, I'm grateful that I'm a US citizen, too! Of course, if my people had their way, I will supposedly reject our US citizenship and embrace our heritage. I don't think so!!! You all Take care! Book
Wow! I have so many blessings to be thankful for this holiday season. Sooo...
I'm thankful for my Doug Beth Jenny and Chris. I'm thankful for my big ford family and so very grateful that Mary is here and getting stronger every day! I'm grateful that our holidays will be full of love and sharing without the hate and meaness of the past couple of years.
Last but not least. I am so grateful that god thru me in the path of beautiful, loving, compassionate women who helped guide my family back to who we were. A family that for a time was shattered. You women were the glue that healed us.
Everyone hold close the ones who love you most. Such a precious thing. We fords wish you the very best thanksgiving, and so love each and everyone of you!!!! Lisa
Cat