My mother moved in with me when my oldest sister dies who lived with her. My brother died when I was 9. My mother and 2 sisters have been addicted to pain meds for years. One sister comitted suicide and the other who lived with mom died when her colon died. Her body couldnt even process the pain meds anymore. Years ago I made the decision to walk away and would only hear from mom when the oldest sister drained her accounts . When she died my moms accountwas charged 983 dollars in overdraft charges alone. So my only option was to move her in. She was in the hole over 2000.00. My husband and I discussed it. We felt this may be a chance to form a friendship if nothing else.
It has been a battle since after the first 3 months. When she accused my daughters fiance of stealing her pain pills I took control of them. She is forced to go to a pain management dr to get her pain meds every 3 months. She goes in my room searching for them while we work. She accuses me of stealing her money. There is nothing wrong with my moms mind. Just this month alone she has spent 732.00 at qvc. She has spent 1000's with qvc since shes been here. Mom has copd and has oxegen in her room. In comes the worst of the argument. She smokes a pack a day in her bedroom and often dosent turn the oxegen off. Im terrified she will cause an explosion and kill us with her. When I take the cigs it turns into a horrible argument. My mother has treated her grandchildren so horribly none have been to my home for 2 years. She has a sister who will not even answer her phone when she calls. She asked a cousin if she could move in and was told no. So she informed me that I would have to have a judge remove her from my home. I accepted years ago that my mom had no use for me. At 10 years old she informed me that she couldnt believe god took johnny instead of me. I heard that for years. I would cry untill I matured and realized she was the one messed up not me.
Now I am 50 years old and taking the verbal abuse again. I hear about how fat I am and dumpy I am. I buy a new outfit and get told I look rediculous. I need some help trying to figure out how to get her out of here. I had to give her the pain meds back last week because she threatened to quit taking her other medicines and she would accuse me of keeping them from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been happily married for 28 years to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We own our own home. She has her own room with a bath and never has anyone in my family not made her feel this wasnt her home too. We fix her plate every night, take her to dr. Appts, wash her clothes, and still she treats us this way. Anyone who can please guide me in the right direction I would be so grateful. I am so stressed. I cant sleep, ive gained 40 pounds and im tired everyday.
Have a blessed day
Love you..........., oh shit...........and everyone else too. Cat
Austin: What a sweet and touching memory. That you remember their names says it all. Glad you had them in your life.
Judy: Blue eyes are never boring and neither are you.
Cat
Austin, great memory. I love it when I see students thru ele and they see me at their middle school and holler, hey ms Lisa!! The feeling is indescribable.
Judy: boring? You????? Snicker snicker snort snort
Jeanne!!! Wonderful to hear your voice. I so love hearing wonderful memories from others who have lost loved ones. There dosen't one family gathering that I can remember that someone dosen't bring up memories of granny ford and grandma rose. So imma gonna share one bout granny ford. Doug and I went to the family reunion for the first time as a married couple. Granny ford used to walk the food line so she knew she had talked to and held the hand of every family member. She came to Doug and I and put a hand on each side of my face and said "honey, when will my next great grandchild be here?" my first reaction was embarrassment. Oh lord, my stomachs fat. Then dougs cousins started laughing and congratulating us. I just kept trying to explain to everyone thru the day. IM NOT PREGNANT. Went home, made the appt. I WAS PREGNANT. 7 weeks. We went to ray and marys that evening to tell them. Rays reaction? Well girl, mom told you a baby was coming. Still gives me the chills when I think of it.
There's my rambling thought. So glad yur here Jeanne. I hope you are doing well. Love all of you!!
Joan and everyone, where are you????
Lisa you are a marvel. love how u helped that little girl and her mother.
typing the the dark here - G has an early morning - ,more tomorrow Love and hugs J
jeanne so good to see you posting still. You have such valuable contributions,
austin you too, where's kimbee, book? pam, judy - u maniac! - punch, sharyn and everyone I have forgotten but not intentionally
I have been on another trip - 5 HTP which is supposed to help fibro, suppress appetite and help you be calm and sleep better - I wanted to eat everything that wasn't moving, became very emotional and anxious, and it did not help me sleep -sent G about 20 texts, and nearly broke up with him, and then got extremely horney -OMG u have no idea, and at my age!!! Almost worth it for that, though G was stuck off in the boondocks somewhere. Apparently I have no shame lol. As he said - "Timing is everything". I stopped taking them and within 24 hrs suddenly realised I had not been in my right mind, but was again. One benefit thoug, it did, in fact, bring up some feelings I needed to deal with, and I have. I apologised profusely to G who said he is going to burn all my pills. Toronto is snow-less thankfully, the pool and whirlpool are good, and I am relaxing. having a good time, Who ever thought 75 was going to be like this? Not me!
have a good one everyone - if I am giving TMI just let me know! Gotta have a little fun in life. ;)
Keeping away from mom this week cuz I have bronchitis/sinus infection and while my new computer was delivered today, I am as excited as I can be but my energy level is like a wet paper bag stuck to the side walk on a windy day...no chance it will fly in the wind, Lol!! Gonna go have some chicken noodle soup and take a nap. Have a good day everyone!!
Glad you have recovered and enjoying your time in Toronto. Keep having fun!!!!
Love you, Cat
Went into work this morning and was put on a route with a new driver. We have a woman who we have all suspected is unstable. Her behavior has escalated over the last year. She was out of control screaming at the kids yesterday afternoon. Our new driver came in after the run and told our boss most were crying when they exited the bus. She has been grounded pending an investigation. This is not the first time I've been taken from another run to ride with the children she's treated so badly. I know all of these children, and they poured their hearts out to me. So I could only go in and recommend that this is beyond my expertise and they need to get the counsellor at school to have them all together with her and discuss their fears. These kids love me, and I saw the complete trust in their eyes when I told them she will never treat them this way again. Lord, what a shitty day. My friend will ride in my place tomorrow who the kids also love and trust. Can't wait to see them Friday. So hey, send a little prayer rays way that this procedure is fast and no skin grafts? Love you all!!!!
Hope Rays surgery goes well, Good for all of you staying there to see him through the bandage changing. I will pray for no skin grafts too,
cat -she is a mail lady and I wouldn't jump her in anything -the first decent mailperson we have had in a long time.
I got hit by a flashback to my mother and my sister walking past me in the street and refusing to acknowledge me - still haven't caught my breath. This PTSD stuff is hard to get rid of. Anyone got any ideas how to do that? Wish life was less complicated sometimes. (((((hugs))) to all
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I just talked to the funeral home person. She asked who will be conducting the memorial service. I told her I would. She said, "No, I mean who will do the speaking?" I assured her that I would lead the service and that other family members would share memories. She tried to talk me out of that. She reminded me that this will be a very emotional time and that I might break down. Yup, could happen. But I'm doing it.
Be thinking of me on Sunday afternoon, please!