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Shelf liner list is funny-good one Jeanne!
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Lisa, luv Judy's comment about the Superman cape for Doug, and U need Ur own Superwoman cape to go with his! in fact, the kids need one too. In addition, along with the Big "S" should be added: "Ain't THAT a Whoppin'!" Think about that when you need a laugh! UR family is amazing... I've mentioned several times how much Doug sounds like my wonderful husband. Funny to learn they R both master electricians. As for all the weight comments, count me in. Maybe we should start a thread to support each other with those efforts. It's hard to keep everything clipping along with a semblance of balance. So many variables to keep juggling all the time. Laughing at myself now-made the morning joe and hear it gurgling away in the kitchen- guess I turned it on tonight, just when I thought I was done with all the chores! Frankly, Lisa it is really amazing that U R keeping so much handled so well. Hats off to you...superwoman ;) and cat, hats off to U too, have fun with your gr daughter, sounds like a fun and special time for both of U. Hope all of you following here have a good day and skip one "shouldn't eat" item or manage to keep a happy spirit in spite of a difficult moment. I'm thankful for this site to connect us to ea other. My mom has recently been refusing to go anywhere, and my steady help unavailable-without all of U, i'd go nuts! Kimbee
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Lisa - that daughter of yours is a treat! I have heard those lies too. You are doing so well. Count down the days. Freedom from tyranny is coming!!! :)
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People that are that cruel are living in their own inner hell. It is very very sad, and if you can envision them as the innocents they once were it helps to have compassion. That being said, no one and I mean no one deserves to be tortured. Writing letters, and trying to prove yourself in any way will only use up precious time that you could be spending taking care of yourself. I've been grappling with the concept of forgiveness since I moved in with dad, and have been under constant attack by my sisters. Of course all the traditional rhetoric came up which is valuable, but I was looking for a different take on it hoping it would help me forgive them. I stumbled upon the following which has given me a new found peace. The original ancient Aramiac definition of "forgive" literally meant to "untie"!!!! It was perfect for me. I envisioned myself on a hill under a blue sky holding three balloons, two red and one multicolored. I waited for a gentle breeze and released all three with love. LOVE is the only truth in this world.
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What did she do to turn you against her? Too bad you weren't prepared with a list written on a roll of shelf liner that you could rolled out and onto the floor as you read it!

I have to admit to feeling sorry for your mother. I doubt that one day in her youth she picked a four-leaf-clover and wished to be the way she is. But making you miserable isn't helping her a bit, so getting her out of there is more than justified.
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Well, if you're predicting that your mom will end up back in the hospital before the move, then I'd put money on it. Beth is a hoot. I'm so glad your mom doesn't lash out at her.
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When my father says mean things to me I just look at him expressionless for a few seconds, then walk away! It's like being a human mirror. All they're left with is their own nasty words. You're right Lisa; they're trying to goad you into a fight. Be her "Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the meanest of them all?" Her own face will be looking back at her thinking "You are my queen"!!!! Don't bite!
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You are right Austin. I can see the wheels turning. I really believe she will be back in the hospital before the move. She keeps coming out of her room really putting on a show with the coughing and bent over.
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Lisa you are doing good-I may just give my Mom one of the evil looks she gives me all the time-good for your little girl for speaking up in a gentle kindhearted way but what she said nicly packed a punch-you Mom is going to go down fighting-it won't be long before she is out.
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I listened to the most amazing nonsense from my mother this morning. Said I don't know what happened to turn you against me. I've been nothing but good to you your whole life. Then I looked her in the eye and saw it. She was wanting an argument. Then she started about the sisters again. Remember how I said when she would start on me at 10 years old I would make my face go blank. Well he'll, I can still do it. Then Beth looked at her and said grandma, dads not gonna be happy with you. Hahahaha, I love it. Turned on her heel, went to her room and slammed the door. Another successful day.
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Absolutely, eomr - only you can do it. Sounds like you are starting to care for you again. You are living in a toxic zone - no question of that.
Lisa -you ARE getting there - just a temporary setback - you know what your goals are, and you are working towards them, and they are happening, though not quite as fast as you had hoped. Take special care of yourself during this period, pamper yourself a bit, do some fun things, and yes, run through your house naked with your husband!!! You are reclaiming your life.
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WOOHOOO !!! Yeah Elisa !!!! your on the right path, dont let Mom steer you away from your goals.
But , just a tip,, POA does not mean you are financially obligated to pay her debts. A medical POA means if she is incompetant, you make medical decisions on her behalf, but only when she becomes unable to do so, and a financial POA can make payments from her bank acct on her behalf. most banks have there own rules for a POA....Niether one ever makes you responsible for her debts
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It is so hard to forget our own health. I have found myself not keeping myself up at times which feels awful. I've always been conscious of being presentable, and now I just could care less. That's why I'm making changes for myself. I do not want to look, and feel a wreck when this nightmare is over. I feel like I'm living in a quarantined toxic zone! Things have to change, and only I can do that. Be good to yourself ENJO!
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Love that quote eomr. I totally agree. I am about to draw some tighter boundaries, as I am still battling a chronic infection from two years ago when I first moved mother. I have changed doctors, and need to concentrate on my health. Mother is in crisis mode, largely of her own making, and she will just have to work it through. She wants to move - again, and I will not help her. She will not find anything better than where she is. I have managed to lose 15 lbs in the past couple of years, and started a new eating regime, so my blood pressure is down to 113/63 last time I measured it. I am 74 and not on BP meds so it is working. I refuse to have my health damaged any more than it has been. I have only one good arm anyway (born with one hand) and that arm and shoulder have suffered from dealing with mothers things. It gives me pain at times, as does the gut infection. I would do it differently if I could go back, but hindsight is always perfect. All I can do is do what makes sense today. I think working with abused horses is awesome. Sig other has horses (unfortunately pastured too far away for rtegular contact) and I love whenever I can get down an visit them. I will go and see the new foals soon.
golf, - i think many here are "stress eating" and in doing so affecting their health now and in the future. I don't want type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and whatever comes from stress eating. It will likely affect your senior years. I am a senior and need to work to care for me, I still want to travel, and ride a horse again, I want to stay independent. To do that I have to be proactive about my health.
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Absolutely!!! I have decided to look at the near future when dad is not here anymore :(. I've asked myself "Do I want to look like a fat haggard old woman?" The answer is a resounding no!!! We need to take care of ourselves now! If we don't we are not honoring the "God" that lives within us.


“Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourself.”

~ Michel de Montaigne
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Weight problems - now there is topic I could discuss for hours. I've gained about 60 lbs. Hum...........think it could be because I'm so stressed and not caring for myself appropriately?
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I've been eating too Judy. At night when can finally get into my bed I eat candy!! I've never done this in my life but the stress and lonliness leaves me with a void. The comfort I seek to fill that void is not there so I eat this sweet stuff. My body and mind are so restless, and I can't seem to find a comfortable position in my bed. I am so antsy, and internally troubled so . . . I eat candy! I'm also finding I want a drink at night as well. That doesn't work either except to make me look, and feel crappier the next day. Getting up every morning is such a chore. I actually hate getting up. I have orthopedic disabilities so I'm also in tremendous pain. Not only do I wake up to emotional chaos but I have to take those excruciating first steps!

I've thrown out all the crap, and now keep a bag of almonds, sugarless gum and diet gingerale by my bed. Believe it or not it actually works! We need to love, and care for ourselves. I also went back to working with abused horses 3 days a week, and although it's ridiculously painful it gets me out into the fresh air. My work is gentling, and more inner healing so I don't stress my bones too much. The riding puts no stress on the painful joints, and it's so relaxing. Try to get outside a little. I empathasize with your need for "bandaids". We all have big boo-boos that are bleeding! LOVE YOURSELF
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Elisa..your situation with your mom has brought me to tears. There is no logical explanation for the cruelty that so many of our sister caregivers endure. It's all jst wrong, and those we are caring for have no idea of the personal suffering that their words and actions put us through. I have found it difficult as well to stay positive and caring as daughters are expected too, when insults are flying in our direction, and our sacrifices go unappreciated. You have endured so much, and certainly deserve every feeling you have expressed. I am so sorry that your life ,at this time, is so difficult. I understand that feeling of dread. All i can offer in encouragement to you is this..you are doing for your mom what so many could not. I believe that we are caregivers for very specific reasons, and not all are for the betterment of our loved ones, but for ourselves. No matter how difficult and tragic our circumstances may be, we come through it learning something new about ourselves, about the fact that we are stronger than we thought because we are still here, day after day,caring for those who cannot care for themselves. No matter what mom says, know that you are very special and a beautiful person in doing what you do everyday. I, for one, am in the trenches with you...insults and all!! It's a wonderful thing that you have such a supportive and loving husband to stand by you..I do, as well. Know that there are many thoughts and prayers out in the cosmos for you...and I am certainly at the front of the line! God Bless, and an abundance of hugs i send to you..
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I worry about my weight every day. Its partially from stress eating, I think. Well, aside from just liking to eat. I'm good at it. I guess everyone needs to be good at something! When my mother calls, I notice that I go into the pantry. While she's launching into her litany of complaints, I'm standing IN THE PANTRY, shoveling whatever I can grab, down my throat. Now, that's nuts. Standing in the pantry with marshmallows, raisins, graham cracker bits, cheerios, whatever falling from my face, not even wanting them, but eating and listening. UGH. Like its going to make me feel better. The funny thing is, I don't eat when I'm with my parents, just with my thoughts. Hell, I even started smoking again, thinking that it'd cut down on the copious amounts of food I've been consuming. Nope. Now, I'm an overweight smoker. Holy crap. I just told Cattails yesterday that I look like I sat on an air hose anymore. I wonder if weight problems go hand in hand with elderly parent issues.
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Cattails, my son and future daughter - in -law took me shopping yesterday and I was worried about my weight, too. I agree with Lisa that we can work on it for our health, but I realized that I no longer have to worry about how I look. Instead, I want to try to make people feel good about themselves. We have all earned the right to be overweight and just need to be skinny enough to be healthy. You must be an awesome grandmother! Rebecca
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Oh cat, you are going to have so much fun! Enjoy every minute of your time with Amanda. Sounds to me like you had a hand in raising her. And your weight? Pooh. Like Doug tells me, just more to love and hug. But we both should work on it for our health alone.
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Hi Elisa - I was very sad after reading about your situation with your mother. You clearly are doing everything possible to help her and I can tell you're truly a kind and caring daughter. I too, have a similar situation with having 2 siblings addicted to prescription meds and they are no help to me with my mother who is 87 and very ill. Fortunately, my mom is not verbally abusive or experiencing mean behavior towards me. It sounds to me that you have tried to do everything possible to help your mom and I would like to suggest that you maybe might want to contact Dept of Health and Social Services. They may be able to provide some intervention by way of sending a social worker to your home to meet with you and your mom. Just remember that others are thinking of you through prayer. You're a special daughter for doing all that you are doing. I wish you happiness that you truly deserve. God Bless you and your family. Linda G.
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Lisa: God is forgiving. I wonder how many other families have fudged on the application. If this place was only set up to take saints, I don't think the social worker would have sent you there. She knew what you were dealing with.

I love the mental picture of Doug running through the house, naked with a cape. Maybe you could get matching capes.

I am leaving Friday. Flying to visit my Granddaughter, Amanda, who lives in North Dakota. She is like my own child.....lots of history there. I have not been able to see her for the past four years. We talk all the time by phone. She's 22 and is getting married this August. I'm going to the bridal shop with her for her final fitting, checking out the venue for the reception, checking over the options for the meal service, going to the florist to get the scoop, and meeting the grooms family, etc.

She worked out an airline ticket for me this past Feb. for my birthday present. So we will be doing mom and daughter stuff, even though I am her Grandmother.

My dad is going to respite care tomorrow morning, so I will have the rest of the day to get my stuff together. I wish I wasn't so overweight and had hoped to start on WW earlier, but I am what I am and I know she doesn't care. Taking care of my dad just puts my ability to take care of myself on the back burner. Maybe I can shed a few pounds before the August wedding.

So there's a little more about me. Love to everyone, Cattails.
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Its not lying, its self preservation. I worked with a guy who was the one of the laziest most disagreeable people I've ever met. He transferred out of our department to a better job. I asked my boss what the deal was. How could such a lazy troll get a better job? My boss said that he gave him a glowing recommendation to make sure he got the job to get rid of him, making him someone else's problem. Your Christian care paperwork made me think of that. I can see how you'd feel badly, but jeez, your hands are tied.

I hope Doug runs naked through the house. I think he should at least wear a cape like Superman though. He's certainly been one.
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I filled out the paper and it's been faxed to Christian care. After I checked each box I kept chanting omg, I'm going to hell. Only one I could tell the truth on was she payed her expenses on time. She hasn't said one word to me today. It's been a good day. The insurance adjuster came. Poor Doug. He thought he had all the damage listed. Good thing he's a master electrician. Cause he would sure suck at being an insurance adjuster.;)))) told me today when the crazy woman who lives down the hall is out and the girls are working, he gonna run naked thru the house. Hahahahaha.
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Dear eomr, thank you for the advice. I can actually hear how much you are hurting. And good for you!! Get out! Being on here with all of my new friends has been the best therapy I have ever received. Your words are saying to me that you love your father very much. The most I ever hoped for with my mom was at the very least respect and a friendship. I moved on with my life years ago. Being uninformed put me in this situation. And I didn't know how to get out of it. Now I do thanks to my guardian angels. It is never too late to start living your life. And when your dad realizes his mistake? Don't go back. Continue to love him, but you still need to make the rest of your life the best it can be. Nobody can do that but you. Continue with your counciling. Go out, have fun. Find someone special. There's someone for everyone at any age. Think how much fun this new adventure will be. And it will be an adventure!
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I wish I had a bus driver like you when I went to school. Our driver spent to much time yelling at the bully boys. Keep strong the next week will fly by. God Bless
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Lisa, I so understand the horrible situation you're in. Mine is very similar but in a different way. This is no way for you to live. You need to take care of yourself now at all costs. If it means walking out then do it! Call Elderly Affairs, and tell them your situation. I did, and they have experts there to guide you. I was so surprised to see how much support they offered, and are continuing to offer me. Tell your whole story going all the way back to when you were a child. I'm sorry to say this sweetie but your mother is a serious child abuser, and you should let authorities place her where she can do no more harm. Perhaps a state mental health facility would be the best place for her. Right now you are dangling not knowing which way is up. Believe me, I have been going literally through hell with my family, and dad. My problem is mostly my abusive family but when I called Elderly Affairs they clearly told me it is time to let go, and now take care of me! I am leaving my home, and the complete caregiving of dad (of which I've provided completely alone for 5 yrs), and letting one of the vicious "sisters" take over. We'll see if they step up to the plate or not. The reason I'm doing this is because the father I've given my most loving dedicated care to has decided to turn against me choosing to believe absolutely vicious lies told to him by my two sisters, who by the way have barely visited him in 5 yrs! He's been hateful towards me, and has chosen to close his mind and heart to the one daughter who gave up her own personal life for him. I'm done. It's time for my inner peace, and wellbeing. I just pray I do not have some kind of deep illness as a result of these past years of abuse. Call them Lisa . . . CALL THEM. Ask for guidence. She is an abuser, and you need to be free of the twisted poor thing. If you want to talk directly I will send you my phone # in a private message. Please call for guidence . . . please! I am worried about you, and so are many others. Just know you aren't alone out there. I'm sending you light love, and prayers. When we take actively seek to get control of our own lives if feels so great. Instead of being a victim turn things around and become the avenger!
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I am still in there praying for you! You are going to make it through this!
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Lisa youare a great busdriver-I still remember some I had in school-and having the kids wave to people along the way is great-some of those might not see another person all and to bring some happiness to them is priceless.
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