I've just spent a while on my hands and knees, cleaning up the drops of urine in the hall. They go from the living room to the bathroom. I know they are in the living room rug, too. I bought some pull-ups for my mother, but she won't wear them. She goes commando with just her pajama bottoms serving to catch the dribble. She goes back and forth to the bathroom all day long, sometimes as often as every five minutes. The doctor and I have encouraged her to wear the pull-ups so she wouldn't have to worry about making it to the bathroom in time. When I mention it to her in private, she gets very angry and denies she has any accidents, calling me liar. This is after suggesting the pull-ups to her in a non-accusing way, so it isn't me setting her off. She is just ashamed, I realize. She tries to hide all the accidents she has by doing laundry every day. But it is hard to hide all those dribble spots on the floor and the smell of urine in the house.
My mother is so quick to anger. This has been a life-long thing with her, but it is coupled with disability now. And that makes her even angrier. I find it very humbling to be on my hands and knees cleaning up the urine spots of someone that has always been so nasty and angry. And I wonder what is it about some of us that we put ourselves through it. What is even more remarkable is how we go through it without becoming full of rage ourselves. After a while it becomes like doing things for a person who is totally unrelated. It makes no sense to me, but I guess someone has to do it.
Something I just considered, if I had treated my mother as she treats me, she would have put me in a "special school" for wayward teens. Parents could do that back then.
You say your mother is going to the bathroom every five minutes. Has she been tested for a UTI? Does she drink a lot of fluids? Is she diabetic? Going to the bathroom every five minutes means she's practically living in there. Something's not right with her physically.
The same with this forum, its none of you, it just I feel guilty because I was brought up to keep our problems just that. I have actually gave a lot of info on my family issues and neighbors here, so its actually detailed unfortunately. Plus, by the off chance someone I know/ the family knows puts two and two together and realizes its me, I just dont want my family to know I been talking about them/us. I think I wouldn't want everyone talking about me either! Well, unless it was all wonderful ;) My daughter and son would also get angry and feel betrayed.
Oh that's a good point about having to use underwear for the pads. Hopefully it gets better for you. I wish you luck. Thank you for the tip about the Vinegar, I am beginning to like that stuff more and more!
Hugs
We do have a potty, but she said she doesn't need it. She is going to do it her way. I don't understand the why's of my mother, though I can predict what she'll do and say. Thank goodness for vinegar. A little vinegar in water gets the spots up pretty well and makes things smell better.
I agree with what everyone is saying. If I could only get her to agree!
Most of us get to do some piss and poop cleanup. It goes with caregiving. But I can imagine it is much easier to do it lovingly if it is an "accident" and not a result of the loved ones' lack of cooperation. And it would even be easier to take the lack of cooperation if it were new and a result of the dementia. But to deal with it as a life-long pattern? Yikes!
I don't know how you do it.
Look under medical supplies, usually they have those pans, side potty's etc to use. Also, when they are in a hurry for the bathroom, thats when my grandfather also has an issue, they can fall easier. I wish you luck.