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If you need anything from me



reconsider.
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🙄 When I'm feeling sick, I google my symptoms and usually find out I have a cancer.
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There’s someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist.
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🙂 You can’t make somebody love you. You can only stalk them and hope for the best.
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🙂 You inspire
my inner serial killer.
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🙂 How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?
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🙄 I have a “dry clean only” sweater that is about to learn some harsh truths about living with me.
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🤷‍♀️ People will tell you they care, but they don’t seem to show it unless you get sick, die or become famous.
(3)
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Wish list:
peace of mind.
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🙂 🙂 
I don't hate you,
I'm just simply not excited about your existence.
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🙂 🙂 
I'm in a really good place spiritually.
So please f---- off.
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😇😇😇
I hug people that I hate,
so that I know how big to dig the hole in my backyard.
(4)
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Dogs can be our best friends,
but the cat will never tell the police where the marijuana is.
(2)
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😉 To truly find yourself, you should play hide & seek alone.
(4)
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noticed a typo down there.

i meant to write:
😇💪🏻 We’re all brave in our own way.

For example, I’m not afraid of RAW cookie dough.

----
since i'm on the cookie topic anyway, here are some more:

What do you call a smart cookie? Academia nut.

-----
Tough cookies stick together.
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😇 I’m not as mean as I could be and I want people to be grateful for that.
(4)
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😳 You haven’t known fear until
you’ve tried on a too-small dress and thought you were stuck in it forever.
(3)
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Some babies were dropped on their heads.
You were clearly thrown at a wall.
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🙃 Sorry about the mess
but we live here.
(4)
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😇💪🏻 We’re all brave in our own way.

For example, I’m not afraid of rough cookie dough.
(2)
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😉 Few of us could bear to have ourselves for neighbours.
(1)
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I’m not adding this year 2024
to my age. I did not use it.
(2)
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🙂 🙂 
I've never had a problem
that I couldn't make worse.
(3)
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🙄 If it's the thought that counts,
I should probably be in jail.
(2)
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Maybe the hokey-pokey IS what it's all about!
(3)
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🙂 
You'll all be sorry
when I figure out how to breathe fire.
(1)
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I was addicted to the hokey-pokey
but I turned myself around.
(3)
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🙄 Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life when they realize they’re stupid?
(2)
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🤷‍♀️ Today’s generation will never get to know the satisfaction of slamming down the phone during an angry hang-up.
(3)
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🙂 
Have you ever been on a date and thought,
dying alone doesn't sound that bad?
(3)
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