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I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, “That’s us in 10 years.”

He said, “That’s a mirror!”
(7)
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My man says I treat him like a child. I gave him a sticker for standing up for himself.
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🌸🌸🌸🍀🍀🍀
I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.
(3)
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I ordered a chicken and an egg on line.

I'll let you know what comes first
(1)
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Did y'all hear about the new squirrel diet?

It's just NUTS!
(1)
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Welcome to 60

I just wish someone told me rigor mortis starts at 60 and not after we die
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🙂😘 I’m not bossy.
I just know what you should be doing.
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🙂❤️ I could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me.
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There are two types of people in this world.
Avoid both of them.
(2)
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I get in this weird mood sometimes where I don't want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone.

I call this mood "Awake".
(5)
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What doesn't kill you...
will hopefully try again.
(1)
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"Don't stop believin'..."

I never started.
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The problem with some people...
is that they exist.
(4)
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Things to do today:
1. Get up
2. Survive
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20 Things that women should stop wearing:

1-20: The weight of other people's expectations & judgments.
(5)
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List of things I'm currently handling well:
1.
2.
(3)
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"You see, I'm sort of independent.
I am my own superintendent."
(1)
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Family Feud Questions and Answers:

Name a place that’s filled with people who don’t want to be there.

Jail
Hell
Work
Cemetery
Church

Tell me something of yours that you swear is possessed.

Children
Car
House
Pet
Computer
Myself
Cellphone
Spouse

Name something that people do in the bathroom that they wouldn’t admit to.

Singing loudly
Talking to themselves
Checking social media
Trying out dance moves
Reading shampoo bottle labels
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They say to invest in stocks. I bought chicken stock. At least, I can make soup.
(2)
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I’m starting to think that winning the lottery is the only way that I can afford to buy a house.
(0)
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Remember when $4 got you a cup of coffee and change? Now it just gets you judged by the barista. #InflationBlues
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I told my kids that we were playing a new game called ‘Budget.’ It’s just like Monopoly but with real money and tears. #ParentingInInflation
(2)
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My fitness tracker is the only thing excited about inflation. Apparently, walking to work counts as exercise. #BudgetFitness
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The price of meat is so high that my dog is considering becoming a vegetarian. #CarnivoreCrisis
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Inflation: Turning millionaires into thousandaires, one rate hike at the time.
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Keep Calm and inflate on…said no one with a budget, ever.
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Remember when a penny saved was a penny earned? Now it’s just a penny closer to buying a loaf of bread.
(1)
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Life gave me lemons but I had to give them back because I couldn’t afford the sugar to make lemonade.
(1)
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I tried to follow my dreams but they got repossessed just like my car.
(2)
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Is it just me or are Dollar Stores becoming ‘Ten Dollar Stores’?
#BargainHuntingFail
(3)
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