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😘

"As I do more laundry,
nudists seem less crazy."
(2)
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😇😘

"He said there was no spark between us anymore.
So I tasered him!!!
I'll ask him again when he wakes up."
(2)
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🤯 murphy's law...

"If you know something will go wrong
and you do everything possible to stop it from happening,
then something else will go wrong."
(0)
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🙂🙂

"Mood:
wanna sleep for 3 years."
(1)
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😉

"I'm sorry we fought.
I hate it when
you're wrong."
(2)
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😉

"That awkward moment
when someone you hate
is breathing."
(1)
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😇

"I can admit when
you're wrong."
(2)
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🙂🙂

"My perfect morning:
I wake up, get out of bed,
get into a bigger,
warmer bed with no
alarm clock and
instantly fall asleep."
(1)
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🙂

"Man goes into the self-help section of a bookstore. He says to the clerk:
Sounds like a lot of work. Got any somebody-else-helps-me books?"
(4)
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🙂🙂

"I will not sleep
until I find
a cure for my insomnia!!"
(2)
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🥺

"I am trying to be positive
but Murphy's Law keeps finding me."
(3)
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❤️

"OK Murphy's Law,
you win.
I give up."
(1)
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Need money!
Not homeless!
Wife just keeps buying PLANTS
(4)
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❤️🙂

"Please kindly go away,
I'm introverting."
(1)
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🥰

"Sometimes, the 1st step towards forgiveness is realizing
the other person is totally crazy."
(5)
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❤️🙂🍫

"There's more to life than chocolate, but not right now."
(3)
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❤️🙂🍫

"What is the meaning of life?
All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate."
(2)
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❤️🙂🍫

"Research tells us that fourteen out of ten people love chocolate."
(1)
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❤️🙂🍫 breaking news...there might not be any free will, after all.
(apart from llamalover ❤️, who doesn't like chocolate)

"Does the notion of chocolate contradict the principle of free will?"
(1)
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❤️🙂

"Due to the recent coin shortage,
no one is allowed to put in their 2 cents anymore."
(4)
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😉😎🙄🤪

“Around here
normal is just a setting on the dryer.”
(4)
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❤️🙂🐈

"The more people I meet
the more I like my cat."
(1)
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❤️🙂 haha, thanks for making me laugh MD
(2)
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🤮

"Seize the day,
then let it go."
(0)
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🌸🌸🐶

"Dogs are friendly.
Humans may bite."
(1)
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🤮

"I'm so grumpy,
I'm not even talking to myself!"
(2)
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X: So tell me, what has been bothering you?
Y: Life.
(1)
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🌸🌸🐻🐻

“People often ask what I do at the teddy bear factory.
My reply? ‘Just stuff.’”
(2)
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🌸🌸🐻🐻 gooood morning :)

“How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, GO!”
(1)
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❤️

“I wonder if we
overthink
each other
at the same time.”
(0)
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