I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
“Just give me
a second
to overthink this.”
“Overthinking and
also hungry.”
“The task I must undertake is towering over me like a great big monolith.
It is too big to contemplate. So I think I will go and have a little look at the internet.”
🙂🙂
“Things I don’t feel like doing today:
moving.”
“A day can really slip by
when you’re deliberately avoiding what you’re supposed to do.”
“Writing is 90% procrastination
and 30% panic.”
“Man stranded on a desert island. He’s holding a stick, pointing it at the sand, and completely confused what to write. An airplane is hovering above.
Man:
Dang! Heck of a time to get writer’s block!”
"Oh wow!! You're really gonna fight me over the internet?
What's the worst you can do, caps-lock me to death?"
"I'd appreciate it
if you'd stop interrupting me
while I'm ignoring you."
"If I'm ever murdered, it will be
because I said something
absolutely perfect to someone
with no sense of humour."
"It's raining idiots
everywhere."
"I'm not interrupting you
if I wasn't listening in the first place."
"Fun fact about me:
the drunker I get, the more karate I know."
"Maybe if everybody eats a snickers bar today
the world would CALM DOWN."
"Everyone preaches
body acceptance
until you show up naked
at the company picnic."
"There are approximately 1,010,300 words
in the English language but I could never
string enough of them together
to properly express
how much I want to hit
you with a chair."
When I said, "I'd hit that",
I actually meant with my car.
"Being an adult
is a little out of my price range right now."
"I'M NOT STALKING YOU!!!
By the way, you're out of milk."
“My financial status:
I just rinsed off a paper plate."
“Did you know 14 muscles are activated when opening a bottle of wine?
Fitness is my passion.”
“I just can’t believe I have to be an adult for the rest of my life.”
"Told you so."
Sincerely,
Your intuition
“Spent the morning at the farmer's market,
carefully selecting fruits and vegetables
to throw away next Sunday."
"If Facebook taught us anything, it's that
a lot of you, are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee."
"I ran into my ex the other day.
I could have sworn the light was green."
"Vegetarians live up to 9 years longer than meat-eaters.
9 horrible, worthless, baconless years."
"Are you always this stupid,
or are you making a special effort today?"
"If I listen closely enough,
I can hear my guardian angel sobbing."
"These are some sounds I just love...
--shoes on gravel
--crackling of fire
--the snapping of necks of those who disrespect you
--cats purring."