I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Sorry, but I'm all out of sugarcoating."
"When I was your age, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel."
"Changing the toilet paper
will not cause brain damage."
"It's like winter is really mad and
keeps storming out of the room and
then coming back, yelling, 'And another thing!'"
"Let's eat kids.
Let's eat, kids.
Use a comma.
Save lives."
"I was admiring your parking.
Seriously, I did not know
that the blind could drive."
"Lost unicorn:
If found, please stop doing drugs."
"Parent/teacher night:
Let's share the blame."
"At the doctor's office.
Doctor starts googling my symptoms."
“Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and sense of humour, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.”
“Sometimes it freaks me out that there’s a skeleton inside me.”
"I don't understand how people get eaten by sharks.
Don't they hear the music?"
"I resolve to delude myself into thinking
I'll be a healthier and more productive person next week."
"Dolphin speaking to another dolphin:
If I could do only one thing before I died, it would be to swim
with a middle-aged couple from Connecticut."
"A dog walking away from the owner, unhappily. The dog says to himself:
It's always good dog, never great dog."
"Why am I
the only naked person
at this gender reveal party?"
"Taco EMERGENCY.
Call 9 Juan Juan."
"If by 'crunches' you mean
the sound bacon makes when you eat it,
then yes I do crunches."
"On occasion, you should introduce the upper lip
to the lower lip, the result
is absolutely amazing."
"I don't argue with the world.
The world argues with me."
"If you see someone over 40 out in public after 9 pm,
they 100% took a nap earlier in the day..."
"Tomorrow's a new day
and another chance
to mess things up just a little bit differently."
"What do you call a fat psychic?
A four chin teller."
"I asked Alexa, what do women want?
It hasn't shut up for nine days."
"I don't need a stress ball.
I need a stress bat."
"Do you ever wonder what people who caused the product warning labels are like?"