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🙂🎼

Grunt, creak, groan, crack, crik, wheeze, snuck, ugh, pop, snap, oof, sigh, crack.

(The soundtrack of aging.)
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🙂

"Be good to your spouse,
remember right now they could poison you
and it would be counted as a covid death."
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❤️

"If you're having a bad day just remember that
someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper."
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🙂🙂

"I'm glad you're learning to laugh at yourself.
That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us."
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🙂🙂

In retrospect, that was stupid.
--The working title of my memoir.
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❤️

"Don't be condescending.
(That's when you talk down to people.)"
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❤️🙂

"As the days go by, I think about how lucky I am...
that you're not here to ruin it for me."
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🙂

"Most of my decisions are loosely based on
whether or not it's illegal or merely frowned upon."
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🙂🙂

"Just did a Tupperware inventory.
17 round containers. 2 square lids."
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❤️

"I don't understand why you pay a shrink.
I'll tell you what's wrong with you for free."
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😉

"Them: I'll see you in h*ll!

Me: Call first. No pop-ins."
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❤️

"A worm is a pretty disappointing prize
for getting up early if you ask me."
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😘

"If you're feeling a sudden calm,
it's because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic
on a grassy hill.

You're welcome."
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Kangaroo jokes:

First one from Gary Larson, USA: Kangaroo to co-jumper: “Just jump, you fool. No need to shout Boing Boing Boing!”

Second one from an English 19c romantic novel, looking for down-under color: “They sat quietly in the shade of the gum trees, listening to the low moaning of the kangaroos”. (Kangaroos don’t make any noise at all, but when we have them just outside the window of the farm sunroom, we always try to pick the “low moaning”. No success so far)
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The length of a minute depends upon which side of the bathroom door you’re on.
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I’m not OCD, but you can count on me to turn your toilet paper in the right direction.
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My blood type is coffee.
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Why does toilet paper need a commercial?

Who is not buying this stuff?
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Everything happens for a reason…

Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid, and make bad decisions.
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So, you’re 96 and still don’t need glasses?

No dear, I drink straight from the bottle!
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Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it.

Those who do study history are doomed to stand by helplessly and watch everyone else repeat it!
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I don’t need you to think like me…

Just Think!
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Lord, it’s me

Can do do me a favor?

Can you close your eyes for a second?

While I deal with this problem
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Women are angels and when someone breaks our wings…

We still fly on a broomstick because…

We are flexible like that!
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My boss told me to have a good day…

So I went home
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🙂🙂

"To whoever has my voodoo doll:
Take some of the stuffing out,
I'm trying to lose weight!
Thanks a lot!"
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Both optimists and pessimists
contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist the parachute.

George Bernard Shaw
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I don’t know how to act my age. I’ve never been this age before.
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If you want a profound conversation, then speak to a child.
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The older I get, Darn, I forgot what I was going to say, but you would’ve loved it.
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