I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Well, after just a week at home, I've come up with a comprehensive list on how to do things more efficiently around here, honey"
"K."
Well, potassium to you too.
"I'm 300% done with today
and like 68% done with tomorrow already."
"Going to bed (phrase):
Shutting down laptop and using your phone in bed."
"Hungry (adjective):
Something that only happens after brushing your teeth."
"At least it can't get any worse (phrase):
What you say to challenge the universe into making your day even more terrible than it already is."
"Dry Clean Only (adjective):
This will never get washed. Ever."
"Cupcake (noun):
A muffin with low self-esteem."
"Junk (noun):
Something you keep for years and then throw away one week before you need it."
"Procrastinate (verb):
What you are doing right now. Get going and finish what you need to do."
"Morning (noun):
The time when the bed has more gravity."
"Flashlight (noun):
A container for dead batteries."
"Dentist (noun):
Similar to parents, but they criticize your teeth instead of your lifestyle."
"Nothing messes up your Friday more
than realizing it's Tuesday."
"Title of book:
How to Avoid Everything
--Irresponsibility Made Easy"
"Your fear of looking stupid
is wasting too much time."
"It's not that I'm immature.
It's just that you started it."
"What ended in 1945?
1944."
"It's very rude to talk
when I am interrupting."
"I'm not saying you're stupid.
I'm just saying you have bad luck when it comes to thinking."
"Him:
Wow look at you trying to be romantic with all these candles.
Me:
First of all, I'm about to sacrifice you."
🙂
"I moved past having a depressive episode.
I'm actually having a depressive series
haha
season 8 available now."
"I had a better social life when I was like 8 years old
than I do now."
Wish list:
--Peace of mind.
I asked, "Why?"
He said, "My dog died."
That's how I ran into the door..
This is the joke below:
I was forced to go to a positive-thinking seminar. I couldn't stand it. So I went outside to the parking lot and let half the air out of everyone's tires. As they came out I said, "So, are your tires half-full, or half-empty?"
"Remember when you thought this year was going to be better than last year?"
"What do we learn from
cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It's impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking."