I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"I hate it when I have finally have the laundry caught up,
then I see my family walking around in clothes."
"I heard the government is putting chips inside of people.
I hope I get Doritos."
"I need at least 70 days notice to do something."
I'm gonna have a positive attitude today.
*me 5 minutes into the day*
I have contained my rage for as long as possible.
"Me yelling at squirrels in the street to move so they don't die
is probably the same feeling God has watching me live my life most days."
"When I offer you food, it's only because I was raised right.
As my friend, please read the truth in my eyes and politely decline."
"I'm really a very pleasant person to be around,
unless I'm hungry, tired, hot, cold, thirsty, anxious, or dealing with idiots."
"When you gotta delete your post
because you're just not the same
person you were 6 minutes ago."
"We DO NOT throw away perfectly good food in this house.
We put the left-overs in Tupperware,
put the Tupperware in the fridge,
let it go bad, THEN throw it out."
"My 5-year plan
is to make it through this year."
"Which essential oil is best for
getting people to stop talking to you?"
"Short answer: no. Long answer: noooooooooo."
"Next week has been exhausting."
"If I was accidentally weird to you once
just know I will be thinking about it every night
for the next 50 years."
"You are what you eat."
I don't remember eating anxiety and back pain, but okay.
"When you're fatigued because of your depression
but can't sleep because of your anxiety."
"You're so sweet.
I just went into diabetic shock."
"There is a reason the word 'die' is in diet."
"Why can't I be an emotional exerciser instead of an emotional eater?"
"Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing."
"Welcome to your 40s.
If you do not already have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly."
"That message felt like a great idea until I hit send."
"Physically I'm here,
mentally I'm in a pool in Mexico,
ordering my 3rd tequila."
"On the other hand, you have different fingers."
"How come abbreviated is such a long word?"
"They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right."
"I'm not convinced we've wasted enough time on this."
"I hate it when I plan my day and nobody follows the script."
Here's a list of things I'd like to do today:
"My dental hygienist is cute ❤️. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments."