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It sounds to me like the BEST way to take care of your Mom would be assisted living. Even if she has no money there are ways and places for her to live and they can be just as nice as the more expensive ones. She needs people around and activities. You can't provide what she needs and maintain you sanity so turn that part over to an assisted living facility. Be sure to pick one that has levels of needs so as she ages she can remain in the same environment. You are not abandoning her by doing this you are really doing what is best for her. My Mom would be so much happier in assisted living but my Dad is with us also and he won't even discuss it. He sees "nursing homes" as a place to go to die. I can't get him to even consider it. You may even find that once a week going to a bingo night or majhon game with Mom can be great fun for you also. The RV Plans must continue for both you and your husband!! Taking care of Mom can not become your sole purpose in life or you will loose your life and your sanity.
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I'm seeing a lot of members suggest assisted living for her, and I agree. In addition to keeping her safe and giving you a much-needed emotional, financial and physical break, it would give her a built in social scene. She might even find a man with whom she can socialize.

There are a lot of ways you can fulfill your promise to your dad without killing yourself in the process. One of those ways is to look for and put her in a facility that can meet her emotional and social needs in a way that you can't.

You have to keep living your life.
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I would like to comment that "assisted living" is not financially possible for a LOT of people - especially those who are skating by on Social Security alone, like many seniors. I would suggest checking into any programs that offer discounted senior housing, since your Mom is physically "healthy" other than having hearing issues. That alone makes it more difficult for her, but not impossible, to live on her own again. Check with your county's Department on Aging or whatever it's called in your state - they should have a list of senior housing complexes where the rent is a percentage of her income.
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True that $ are an issue for most!
Excellent point from purplesushi that "assisted" doesn't have to be a formal thing -- anywhere with a social life sounds like an improvement (well, maybe not a bar or casino...). DO check to see if your Mom qualifies for veteran's benefits as a widow. Where I live there is a non-profit that matches people on limited income (or looking for inexpensive housing) with seniors who are looking for someone to live with them, sometimes paying rent, sometimes providing some care. Some matches work out great, some not so good ( "reality" check & needs to be fair )
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Is she in an assisted living program or elderly housing? That might be an option, she can socialize without having to have you cart her around all the time. I find that the best thing we can do for ourselves is to try not to feel guilty. I feel like I have a child who is 2 in an 87 year old body, my money is getting tighter having to pay for someone to come and sit with her if I want to do something.
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