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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Thanks to all,for your advice.I contacted a cousin,who was unaware of certain aspects of the situation.My uncle was informed that his cousin would remove him from my house and enter him into a facility where his behavior would not be tolerated.We agreed to give him a chance,only one,or he will be moving out of state.Another caregiver has been hired,a male,so I can have some life.So far,he has been behaving,with no problems.Time will tell,the first time he reverts to his old ways,he will be leaving for N.Y.
If you decide you don't want responsibility for your uncle, start by asking his daughter to find him another living arrangement. If she is not cooperative (or maybe even if she appears to be but is dragging her feet) find out what steps you are required to take in your community. You may need to serve formal eviction notice, and it may need to be a certain length of time in advance (such as 30 or 60 days). And, yes, this may be required even if the the person is not paying rent.
Whatever you decide to do, please keep us informed. We care!
You are a wonderful individual. You have answered the caregiver call (more times than a lot of us have to) You have been remarkable. I am assuming that the uncle is the brother of your mother?..Please don't take this wrong, but your job is done here. You are putting up with far more than you need to, and should ever be expected to. Call his daughter and let her know she must begin the process of finding a permanent living arrangement for him. If she does not, you will have to. Do it, it is what needs to be done.
First, dagmara, decide whether you want to have this man in your home for another 20 or 30 years. If you do, I suggest you get some counselling to learn how to deal with his demands that you feel are inappropriate, how to response to his total lack of respect, how to manage to have a life of your own while also providing care. I suggest that in the future you only hire male caregivers.
If you do not want him in your home for what could be decades, I suggest you start making plans for another place for him to live. Or insist that his daughter make the plans for him. Other relatives do not want him in their homes. He is not in their homes. You can arrange the exact same outcome -- if you do not want him in your home, he will not be in your home. It will take some effort, but then it will be over.
So, first, do you want him to continue to live in your home or not?
No, this is absolutely abnormal behaviour and you should not have to put up with it one more minute. I would call Elder Serives in your town and find out what to do - you need help with this and I am sorry you have no family support.
This man has mental problems that you cannot deal with anymore. Hope you can find some support from elder services. It sounds like time for him to live at a facility where they can deal with his mental and physical problems. Hugs to you and take care of yourself - you deserve a life.
I ll start at the beginning.I first took care of my grandmother,who was in her 80's,after she was a caregiver for her son,who has MS.After she passed,I took care of my mother,after she had a stroke.She later passed from complications from Diabetes.My uncle has MS.he is totally bedridden,and lives in my house,I have been caring for him,for 10 years.I do have a caregiver,that comes in 6 days a week to bathe,shave and change bedding,as I cannot,due to back problems.On numerous occasions he has told me that my life is over and that I will spend the rest of it taking care of him.He has a daughter who visits regularly,rarely even speaks to me,yet does nothing,and in his words,has to live her life.He is demanding,controlling,and orders me around,I cant even get a thank you out of him.I feed him,adjust his bed,set him up for calls,wash his face etc.He has requested specific movies entered onto his tv,mainly PPV movies,not of the family type.I ve already had 2 part time caregivers quit,because of his requests.One caregiver told me that he asked her to get 1 of her friends,to come by,and leave him alone with her for an hour,so he could find out if he still could get things to work.She quit.The next 1 quit,when he propositioned her.When I asked him about this,he denied it all,saying they were lying,he is paralyzed and cant behave in that manner.These women had good paying jobs here,I doubt they made all this up.The current woman ,who helps me out,has told me he has asked her to find him specific movies,photos on the computer.Recently she was asked to find him a protitute,to visit him,while I was out shopping,for baby clothes for his daughter,who is expecting.He has also asked me if I would shave his private parts for him,which I refused.I cant begin to wonder,what may be going on in my house,when Im not here.Is this normal behavior for a 67 year old man?I get no support,from other family members,except a laugh,or blank stare.This is really getting on my nerves,and I was just diagnosed with Diabetes and glaucoma.Thanks for allowing me to vent this out,
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Update us once in a while how this works out. Many people have similar issues, and we learn from each other. Keep us posted!
Whatever you decide to do, please keep us informed. We care!
Prayers to you
If you do not want him in your home for what could be decades, I suggest you start making plans for another place for him to live. Or insist that his daughter make the plans for him. Other relatives do not want him in their homes. He is not in their homes. You can arrange the exact same outcome -- if you do not want him in your home, he will not be in your home. It will take some effort, but then it will be over.
So, first, do you want him to continue to live in your home or not?
This man has mental problems that you cannot deal with anymore. Hope you can find some support from elder services. It sounds like time for him to live at a facility where they can deal with his mental and physical problems. Hugs to you and take care of yourself - you deserve a life.