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Sendme Lady Gaga is a pop singer. She used to wear these wild costumes and her performances are very theatrical.

As far as talking about my Mom on here. I would but I want to keep this thread fun, so I'll think of fun stories about my Mom for here and keep the crying and missing her posts for another thread.

Not that I'm saying that people on here can't talk about whatever they want to but ..............anyhow. You all know what I mean, I hope.
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Gershun, you should write and tell Lady G about that - seriously, she would be really touched! I have a lot of time for that young woman, ever since she was on the Graham Norton show a while back (to be honest, I hadn't really paid any attention to the phenomenon before then). Graham had invited into the audience a girl whose hobby was making miniature Lady G dolls, complete with replica costumes - I know, that girl needs to get out more, but hey at least she has sewing skills! And LG called her up to the stage and said "can I give you a hug?" She was so sweet to this star-struck kid, I was terribly impressed. I also hadn't realised how *young* she still is - so much achievement in so little time.
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I am lurking by the phone making growling noises, waiting to rip the head off a young man called Liam when he finally summons up the courage to call me back.

Up at twenty to seven this morning to be ready for the delivery of my eagerly-awaited sofa bed. Two months it has taken me to get this order sorted out. Two months of patient negotiation and liaison, getting two lots of manufacturers and an upholstery retailer all lined up in a row, just to get the right size furniture in a nice fabric that doesn't cost the earth and goes with my carpets and can cope with the dog jumping on it and being shooed off again. Not to mention the pains I took last night to walk the route from street to living room and make sure there were no pitfalls or obstructions for the delivery men when it comes to wrestling several hundred pounds of sofa bed into the house.

So 8:15 sharp and I'm directing them into a safe parking position. For reasons which have yet to be explained, these young men come from deepest Yorkshire and have accents to match - this means, for those not familiar with British regional accents, that they are essentially speaking a foreign language. But I eventually gather that one of them is concerned that the sofa is very heavy. Er, yes, it is. Were you not expecting that?

I walk them through the route to make sure they're happy, and they are very happy to note that we have nice wide doorways to work with. Hurrah! They disappear to set about unloading. There is a pause. The pause goes on for some time. I go to investigate.

It turns out that the sofa is not nearly as heavy as they feared. That's the good news. The bad news is that the reason it is not very heavy is that there is no bed in it, and they are conferring about what to do. This is a sofa non-bed. As it is wrapped in heavy-duty clear polythene I am also able to observe that this sofa non-bed is upholstered in cream linen. Not chocolate moleskin velvet. This is not my sofa. Where is my sofa?

Where is my sofa, Liam? Liam, where is my sofa..? Liiii-aaammm...
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I want to say " Dinsdale!!!!"
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Judging by their collective operational IQ I think it more likely they were from Keighley. Whenever somebody in the news has done something just spectacularly THICK, and often borderline illegal at that, they seem to be from bloody Keighley.

Though to be fair, they can hardly be held responsible for what was put on their van. I am still waiting to hear who can...
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My nephew delivers furniture CM, it is entirely possible your delivery men could have played a part in the sofa debacle. K says if the job looks difficult some of the delivery guys where he works have been known to make a mistake (even going so far as to damage the delivery) so they don't have to do it.
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Send, the last boss that told me that the team needed to wear costumes for Halloween as team-building exercise was greeted by me in my regular clothes. "I am dressed as a motivated employee". We had just had a layoff that cut 1/3 of labor force and we were working unpaid overtime to keep our jobs. Ah, the 80's......
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Mother loved frills and marabou and ruffles and lots of bling,so dressing Mom for Halloween as Lady GaGa was easy out of Mom's own closet.She also had some Lady GaGa sunglasses she wore and I could pin anything I wanted on her like bugs and butterflies and dinasours and she wanted her face painted with big hearts on her cheeks.Everyone loved Mom and her costumes so much.The 3 little children down the street always called Mom Lady GaGa when they saw her on our walk around the block till the end.She really wanted to be on the stage,but did what her Mother wanted and was a good wife and Mother instead.Mom wore another costume a lot too.She would dress up as Rose ONeill,the creator of the Kewpie doll in a big burgundy robe,tied with a gold rope and she'd have all her long hair down and she went around to ladies groups and gave talks....just because she wanted to and oh how she loved the applause!I would never do ALOT of things Mom had the desire to do but I was always on her side,beside her supporting her latest whim.I bet she's putting on shows in Heaven now.
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Still happy to read and see all of your remarks, everyone. Thank you so much for lifting up my day with you being you!
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Churchmouse,I had a 5,000 ton sleeper sofa delivered one time. It was going to a third floor condo and I told the delivery guys that there was no way it would make the turn from the exterior hallway into the unit and then down the interior hall.

They didn't believe me. Hauled it up three flights of stairs, struggled for 20 minutes....went back down three flights, around the back of the building and then hoisted it up to the balcony with ropes.

I tried to tell them.
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There's a background scene in one of Douglas Adams' books: Dirk Gently's supercomputer is running a CAD programme which proves that it is impossible for a 3-D object, shaped like a sofa, to fit into an L-shaped space, shaped like a stairwell. A couple of pages later, Dirk and his guest go upstairs in the house and have to wriggle their way past the real sofa which is wedged in his real stairwell.
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Churchmouse, I'm here chuckling, (in solidarity, of course), at your misfortune with the non-bed, cream-supposed to be brown, sofa bed. It reminds me of the 3 attempts they made to deliver a hutch for the dining room. Wouldn't you think it would be inspected or at least looked at BEFORE it was loaded on the truck? How can you not see the broken glass? I could even catch that "detail" without my glasses on! Or are there little gremlins that hide in the truck, destroying the furniture as the delivery men drive to the customer's house? That must account for the complete look of confusion on their faces when observing the broken glass doors!

Too bad we can't see the humor of the situation until a few years pass.

Damn it Liam, bring her the right sofa!!!!! 😡
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Thankless, most likely it would have been loaded on the truck in the original manufacturers box and the delivery men wouldn't see the damage until they got to your place and unwrapped it.
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I thought logistics and delivery services had been steadily improving over the decades, one reason I'm so sick about this. In fact, it was because they used to be so abysmal that my ex-husband taught me one of the most useful life lessons I've ever learned.

We were furnishing our first own house: we'd gone to a major high street furniture chain (this was before IKEA got going) and ordered almost everything from them, and spent a lot of money for those days. Over the next six months, all told, they got absolutely everything wrong. Everything. Postponing deliveries, sometimes several times over. Turning up without warning when we were out. Not turning up when we'd taken days off work to let them in. Demanding payment, when we'd paid up front already. Bringing the wrong things. Bringing the right things damaged. Bringing the right thing in the wrong colour. Bringing too many. Bringing more instead of taking some away. Bringing another bookcase instead of the sideboard. Not returning calls. Not answering the phone. Brilliantly, once ringing to check that we were happy with our order - I think that was the only time I cried on the phone to them.

Once the last item was at last delivered, I sat down to write a letter of complaint, giving them full details of everything: order numbers, dates, events, just the full history, no embroidery. I concluded by telling them we were outraged with the treatment we had received and (I can hear my mother's voice) would never consider buying from them again. My ex looked over my shoulder and said "what's the point of telling them that? Ask them what they propose as compensation, instead." Good point, I thought; and changed it.

They sent us a cheque for £100, quite a lot of money in those days, and as a final flourish they sent it to the wrong address.
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Really bad night at mom's memory care facility - 1:30 in the morning and I'm still trying to scrub the poop out of her favorite pink French terry pants because despite the xtra $450 a month for incontinance care they don't put a diaper on her - grrrrr
Maybe I'll make a special chocolate cream pie for the staff
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Dear memory care facilitator FOR ALL TO SEE

We need to have a new contract
Written for all to see
You can write it and we will BOTH sign it
ONCE YOU AND I AGREE

I know that mums incontinent
Its in her notes for all to see
So why isn't it being addressed properly
WHEN I PAY THE BLOODY FEE?

From this day on It will be addressed
With instructions for all to see
And heres a bill for her Terry pants
And my time with disgust to you FROM ME!
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MsMadge I will never, never forget the wonderful Sissy Spacek splitting her sides and sobbing with laughter: "and you asked for a second slice!!!"
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"It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it"
No wonder the elderly don't trust "The Help" coming in.
Do you think the movie is why?
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I am calm, I said I AM CALM, well actually NO I AM NOT BLOODY CALM AT ALL
I actually hate caring for my mother - there I have said it
I hate the way she thinks its OK for her to treat me like a skivvy
I hate the way she talks down to me in front of her friends

and AND and trust me if I could get a bigger font I would use it she only told the doctor in front of me that I was a useless carer. So the doctor spoke to me and I explained the situation in full with all the issues of dependency etc and she said now lets see how we can help - great I thought at last she will agree to me having some respite before I lose it. She wants me to go to anger management classes!!!!

I was very good - incredibly well behaved. I said I could sort it very quickly without anger management - and how do you intend to do that. I am going to walk away and leave you to do the caring and I promptly gave her a set of house keys and walked out the door.

Then I woke up and realised that dammit I had been dreaming about what I wanted to do!
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Phoenixdaughter, Make that doctor's appointment and make all your dreams come true!

I fear that anger management cannot help much when there is to be ongoing, justifiable anger in response to a real stressor. Sounds more like a recurring nightmare that needs an immediate solution. dear jude.
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Call the family up, get them all home! Respite for you, now!
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am i invisible
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Love the poem Phoenix
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So I now know where my husband got his habit of not throwing wrappers and what not away. His dad leaves toothpick wrappers and papertowels sitting wherever he pleases and his mom leaves kleenex and cheese wrappers wherever too! Grrrr. How hard is it to walk to the garbage can and throw that away? Even if she has to use a walker to walk, she is well capable of doing it. Double grrr because she still wants me to wait on her all the time!
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Msmadge there seems to be a policy in care facilities these days of not using diapers. They just sit the patients on incontinence pads which are a lot easier to change and clean up than changing a diaper. I thought this was an unecessary humiliation until I experienced it first hand. I"ll spare you the details!!!!!!!
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Atwitsend why not get MIL a bag to hang on her walker and maybe just maybe she will drop her trash in the bag. FIL simply isn'I going to change old men are not trainable. I know I live with one!
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OMG Veronica, tell me you are kidding :-O
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If ever, when has ANY man been trainable?
Not to bash men, but often they can behave like little puppies and break training.
Guess we will all have to wait for spring.

Men should understand by now we want to just love them, laugh with them, etc.

I love laughing on this thread, but need more ideas on how to be a better brat. I am sure Gershun can help, our expert on acting out.
How bout you, Gershun? Would you rather poop in a diaper, or on a pad?
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Since Phoenix is writing poems I thought I'd compose a rap. So here it goes.

Its Entitled "Yeah, I wonder Why"

Remember when your jeans all fit
Now it's muffin top & the seams all split
cause our hips don't lie but they sure are wide.
Man they sure are wide

Remember when those sleep lines had a shelf life.
Now they're here for life. On our face reminding us
that we smiled, frowned or just didn't get around to
getting that botox, that cream. Hell, what does it all mean?

Remember getting out of bed with a smile.
Now it takes a while....gotta get those kinks out
Before I can even walk to the john, gotta put my
knee brace on.

Remember when you had an eye crease for your
eyeshadow. Now it's stuck under your flabby eyebrow.
Remember when you had bouncing & behaving hair
Now it's flat & stuck to your head & thin.
You have more hair on your chin

My stomach muscles are out of sight
It just ain't right
Even my knees are flabby
Is that why I feel so crabby?

Thought I'd be happy when my period ended
But now I worry about menopause cause it's got me
bended. On my knees, begging God please
I want to end my life with some ease
Oh please, pretty please, let my life end with ease.
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Absolutely refusing to remember, ha ha ha, I forgot!
There has never been a time better than today! !Yay!
There has never been a time when my knees could take kneeling down.
Heaven takes brats too, ya know?
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