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Some days I just want to have a toddler style tantrum at the nursing home, WAKE UP everybody! OPEN your EYES and SEE what is around you. Most of the little things that irritate me so much would require such a small effort to change, why can't anybody else see them?
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CWillie,
I had to train myself to NOT become involved, because I cared too much. It was hurting me, making me very angry.
I stopped correcting people, calling things to their attention, and understood that it was not allowed to be a good samaritan.
I choose what I can do to help, but when the anger comes up, I walk away.

People call this boundaries, not selfishness. If I was there visiting with you, we would help others anyway as a team, and probably get in trouble for interefering.

Take a walk outside when you feel like exploding.  I will be out there, sitting in the shade, arriving just before you.

hugs
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OTOH,
Look up the owners of the NH, and write your suggestions to them.
OR, write a nice note to that guy who is running the country?
Tell him his mother will be eligible for the same kind of neglect very soon.

Keep it to one page, no rant allowed. Pick one item.

Tell us here what you want changed, because maybe we can change the world one little item at a time.

Oh yeah, The Right Honourable Justin Trudeau.
You write first, then the caregivers from around the world will write to back you up.
Will swear words be allowed?
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I'm just feeling antsy today for some reason (I already checked and it's not full moon). This afternoon I took mom across to the AL side of the building and it's like entering a different world. Fake wood floors and carpets. COLOUR on the walls, and they are smooth, not cream paint over cement blocks. NICE chairs. The lounge seems huge, but that could just be because it isn't crowded with people sleeping in wheelchairs. Even though this NH is such a big improvement over the one mom spent her first few months in it is still just a hospital in disguise, not a home. And some of those people have lived there DECADES!! It's just not right to have to spend your life that way. :(
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Cwillie, I feel for you. We visited my MIL today at her "five star memory care" facility,, and all of the residents we see are parked in their wheelchairs sleeping, or parked on the couches.. staring.. Lovely room with a fireplace,, no interaction however. Around the corner is another sitting area, with a TV on,, same thing... We woke up MIL, talked to her for awhile,, talked to the one other lady who seems to speak ( not making any sense but at least talking.., ) I never see anyone actually interacting with the residents. Maybe once,, FIL says they do all sorts of "activities", and I will admit we once found her asleep with her head on a pile of socks she was supposed to be sorting.. FIL called later in the day to tell us all excitedly that they had her sorting socks when he visited 4 hours later.. (hum??) At least I can say in my dad;s MC we always found him being interacted with, and they seemed to have a lot more staff to do so. It breaks my heart, but my FIL and BIL don't want to move her because this place is not as costly, although dad's MC was only a few hundred more,, and FIL has the money So much for any sort of quality of life..
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Cwillie and Pam
I too am so weary of the fake facade
Hoca suddenly changed Mother's Day luncheon to today
So starting yesterday they turn the place upside down hauling in folding tables and chairs

Meanwhile residents are left helpless and those without visitors are kept upstairs out of sight

In the midst, one of my favorite residents was moving out to a
Cheaper small board and care
She so deserves better care than she's had at hoca
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We have a Mother's Day tea tomorrow at 2:00, of course it is over on the Retirement Home/AL side. I have no idea what this event entails but based on past "special" days it will be coffee/tea and cookies with no thought for special diets or space for wheelchairs. It really doesn't matter because mom is put to bed in the afternoons, and I've learned that skipping bed time may also mean skipping diaper checks since they need to lift her into bed to change her.
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I've already polished off my family sized chocolate bar, I don't know whether to pop a pill for my backache or just keep pouring more wine.
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Cwillie, try not to stress eat. It will just make you feel worse. Or it might make you feel better. Do you, don't listen to me.

I hear you guys and even though I miss my Mom so, I don't miss the nursing home visits. They broke my heart. Come to think of it I remember eating family- size chocolate bars quite a bit back then. With a family-sized bag of Lays as a chaser.
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D**n it, now I want potato chips.🤤🤤

Oh well, there are none in the house and I already have my jammies on.... I may as well go read in bed. Night night all 💤
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Chocolate followed by salt then back to chocolate then ....
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One of my girlfriends in high school used eat chocolate ice cream with crumbled potato chips on top.  She said cured the chocolate and salt cravings. I’ve tried it and it is good.
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Kinda like milk shakes and fries
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MsMadge...You'd probably Love the Russell Stover's Pecan patties with Sea salt in 'em~
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I try to do one good deed a year - not a lofty goal, and sometimes I cheat and either don't plan one or will count one that was unintentional

Today I did two - one by happenstance - but I'm set now until 2020
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From the things you've written on the forum I'd say you are doing good deeds all the time MsMadge, I think you must be paid up for a life time.
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MsMadge, I used to love eating McD's ice cream with french fries. Then when Wendy's came on island, I found out that it's just as good eating Frosty with fries. I even showed my 2 nieces how to eat it like that when they were quite young. As teenagers, their friends freaked out when they saw my nieces eat it like that. My nieces persuaded them to give it a try. And the friends loved it, too! ... We are such a corrupting influences (sweet and salty!)
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Frosty and fries...yum! Now I have a craving - Thanks for that!

I feel like I have been used and abused by some in this family. Looking at it through my daughter's eyes gives me a different thought. I went into this, like a lot of people have done, blindly. And I still have blind days. They should teach all of this crap in school to every single kid. Some will retain it, some won't. My Trainor at the insurance company I used to work at, said "It is written", and to that remark today, I would have to call BS.
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What is the blue plate special?
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I think it's a piece of lettuce served on a Blue plate Send~
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Haven't thought of my favorite snack growing up for so long.....chocolate milkshake with salted french fries dipped in. OMG, that is soon good. No one I was with wanted to sit near me 'cause it looked so weird but I was in Heaven.

I hope there are fries and chocolate milkshakes in Heaven...no calories or cholesterol of course, after all, it's Heaven!

A friend liked popcorn with her vanilla frosty.
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Hi everyone! I am writing to you from the new aging care website.
It is so pretty over here, it is almost like heaven. They have flowers, squirrels, and birds and cats over here too.

When I ate all that Chili today, I served it on a blue plate.

Love from Sendhelp.
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Humm..............Send, don't quite know how to respond to that. But hope you are having fun over there.
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h e l p. m e. i. a. m l.o s t. o v e r. h e re o n t h e. n e w a g i n g.
c a r e a n d. c a n n o t. f i n d. m y. w a y b a c k !
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Send, I don't want to go there..........I'm scared. Come back! I'll leave a popcorn trail for you.
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Is this annoying colitis ad on the new site too?
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Hm, MsMadge? I'm only seeing the friendly funeral planning guide. What are you browsing on?
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I only see a banner ad at the top of this page, I never even noticed it was there :P

I wonder if it depends on what device we are using to get AgingCare. I am on an old desk top computer, pre Microsoft #10. I can't use a handheld device, it makes me seasick :(
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They wouldn't let me post about the ad. Lol
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I'm on an iPad
It's a photo of a man and a dog at beach

With colitis
Even a day at the beach is a victory
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