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Or absent-mindedly burping, because your thoughts were elsewhere, and being gently patted on the back by a nice polite young man you don't know all that well?
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No one recalls the doorbell licker? A man who was arrested for going to homes, licking their doorbell's? As seen on Ring videos-a security device for your front porch area.

Just wondered if the snake will be arrested.

....

Burping, snorting, tooting,
Is that our only embarrassing choices?
I am thinking the brats on here could find so many more embarrassing ideas.

Cough, cough.
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I was walking through a little beach side shop the other day. We had just had Mexican food for lunch. I farted all around the aisles.

Remember that song by Christopher Cross that went "If you get caught between the moon and New York City" Theres a line where he says "even though you laughed your way cross town" In my case it would be "farted my way cross town" lol

Just let em RIP!
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That would be even funnier with dH close at your heels, Lol.
(My hubs follows me).
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My FIL "toots" as he walks places, so did MIL and now my Mom does it sometimes. My thinking is as they lose their hearing they think no one else hears.. or more likely at that age,, they just don't care! My mom is a master belcher, she could put teenage boys to shame. If I had belched like that when I was younger she would have swatted me! I have however laughed my self boneless,, actually slid out of chair in our office one day .., still get teased about that!
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My Mother said "Nice girls don't toot" and we were to hold ours in,but my brother's tooted all the time and there was a game we played.
If someone tooted,you had to say "Safety" before they said "Post",otherwise you would be hit repeatedly until you named 7 cigarettes,counted to ten and whistled &
Now sometimes when I hear someone toot,I still want to say"Post".
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My folks thought 'tooting' was healthier than keeping it in, but we tried for only at home.  You've reminded me of something Dad told us.  In New England we have beans Sat. eve so we can toot in church Sun, if sermon got too long or too negative.  And it had to be a loud sound.
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Pam, My sig other calls tooting while walking "dust cropping." He says, my mother is very good at it!


I use to belch very loud when I would go on a date and figure out part way through the date that I didn't want to see the guy anymore. This was my way in hoping he wouldn't call me again!
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In short, my sister whom I've always been close to is at a crossroads with her partner. She lives a long way from my father who is on his own now and has absolutely no tolerance or patience with his cognitive impairment. We had a conversation last week where she lashed out and was comparing my father to her husband in a Freudian " You always marry a man like your father" tirade. Well I certainly didn't. My husband is a wonderful man, and my father has many good qualities
My sister just refuses to acknowledge them. We all got smacked as kids, All of us, but t h at was the way back then if you were naughty. My sister feels she was smacked more than any of us, so now that she's thinking of ending her unhappy marriage to a man who is verbally and emotionally abusive to her, she's justifying her decision by comparing his behaviour to our father's tough love strategies.( My father had a cold unurturing mother)
Oor conversation last week totally drained and deeply upset me to the point where i ended up saying the "wrong thing" and she hung up on me. We've spoken since but with discomfort. She wants me to set boundaries with my father as my husbandand I see him the most, but I can't and won't.
Thankyou for listening to me
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Better an empty house than an unwelcome tenant
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My mom is funny about tooting too. In New Orleans it is traditional to cook red beans and rice. This is because Monday was ‘wash day’ so while the day was spent doing all of the laundry it was practical to put on a big pot of red beans to cook since the bulk of the day would be spent doing the wash.

Anyway, my mom followed this tradition as most people still do in New Orleans. You even see red beans and rice as the ‘lunch special’ on Monday in our local restaurants.

Now sometimes she will say, “Don’t give me beans. I don’t want to have gas and fart all day!” Hahaha.

I can’t help but think that I ate this low cost meal every week at home but now she doesn’t always want it now. Her line to us if we didn’t want something was, “What do you think this is, a short order kitchen? You will eat whatever I serve you!” Oh boy, sometimes I want to tell her that line but I end up making a sandwich for her.
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My son grew up thinking women never passed gas.
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Funny!
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Shell your belch and date comment reminds me of my fav cousin and her husbands first date. He politely asked if she minded if he smoked ( back in the day many did) and she responded by asking if he minded if she tooted.. they have been married about 30 years.. with a great sense of humor all these years!
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When I worked for UMaine athletic team. We were at a parents meeting. One of the leaders asked the guys to each tell something about their mothers no one was likely to know. One guy spoke up and said his mother could fart louder than him or his five brothers. His mother laughed and said it was probably true.
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It is embarrassing for me if I pass gas when alone at home...always say "excuse me".
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NHWM, My mother use to say the same thing and now I tell her "I am not a short order cook nor is this a restaurant." She eats what I make or she can make eggs, soup or a sandwich.
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Shell,

Yep, I’ve done the scrambled eggs for dinner too. Nothing wrong with that!
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Send, I've been known to walk into a bench or wall, door, you name it and say oh, sorry.

In fact, here in Canada we are infamous for always apologizing. I was going into my bldg elevator not expecting to see anyone and the lady coming out same thing. We both said "Oh, sorry" LOL
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I had a nectarine for dinner tonight.
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Oh, sorry. This isn't the what's for dinner thread. So, so sorry. ;)
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Ha ha, I apologize for going to bed without saying goodnight!
Went to bed without dinner. Dh is still waiting for me to cook. Sorry.

Good Morning everyone! Sorry I missed the fun.
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It wasn't that much fun.

Oh sorry.....if anyone thought it was. Sorry!
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It is way too early for scrambled eggs, or is it too late?
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It's never too early for scrambled eggs Send. Bring on the eggs I say!

Denny's here I come..............ah, maybe not. Hubs isn't here. I'm not a sit alone in a restaurant type of gal. But they do have "Skip the Dishes" delivery here. Hmmm, wonder if Denny's delivers. Hmmmm.
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As seen online, made me laugh...

YOU HAVE TEH RIGHT TO REMAYNE SAILANT. ANYFING YOU SNAY OR DEW WOOL BE UZED UP AGINST YOU IN A CURT OF LAW
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Sorry
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Still trying to figure out what MsMadge meant.....18 posts ago.

"Better an empty house than an unwelcome tenant"

Soooo, I guess that I will go look that up in the b i b l e . Lol.
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Send, I take it to mean either what it says literally, or something like, "Better to live alone than have unwelcome occupants." Metaphorically, I guess it could mean it's better to be bored than have uninvited trouble.
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Well Crap, and I mean that literally.. mom has the runs for awhile now, her Dr thinks its from her meds, as all else looks fine. He said she could take OTC stuff for it, gave us two names, I bought both.. talking to Aunt today..it turns out one is for constipation!! So she has been going back and forth.. I feel like an idiot.. and I am in health care!! I am tired.. and back to the store tomorrow..
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