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Chriscat, there has always been a real disconnect with my siblings and emotions. But I was hurt that my sister chose to say nothing when I told her about losing my sweet cat Daniel. I always knew she was callous but was still very taken aback. So much so that I'm seriously considering skipping Christmas at her place this year.

I've just about given up on my siblings. It truly feels like an ending. An ending of what I don't really know but an ending nonetheless.

I believe that at least two of my siblings are narcissistic sociopaths to be honest. Hard to accept but once I accept it and move on I think I'll be better for it.

Sorry for posting this on the cat thread.
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As many of you know we have a feral cat "colony" of about 20 cats, living around our house. We are now down to the last 4 kittens to be fixed and tipped,, and hooray we have found homes for two of them! DDs friend wants them for her son, and they have picked out the 2 they want and came over last night to play with them. They will pick them up next friday as Mom works, and they will be all fixed then ( saving them about 200 a cat!) Friend just bought her first home, and they are so excited,, have bought all the needed things and had all the talks about not letting them outside. Her small son is so gentle with them, and one warmed up quickly. Wish them luck!
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Thanks Golden. And Gershun, I just saw your post on the "On My Mind" thread about your sister being unable to offer sympathy when your dear cat died, and how this upset you. Only today we had an example of how a little sympathy goes a long way. My DH was in the garden when one of our neighbours was taking his puppy for a walk. DH explained that Arthur had passed away earlier this week. Our neighbour had known Arthur as he would see him in the fields, hunting mice. He was so sympathetic, and explained how upset he and his family had been when their much loved other dog had died unexpectedly in his sleep a few months ago, and how horrible and overwhelming the loss had been. This was two 50 something men, bonding over the grief they'd both experienced, unafraid to bare their emotions, and I could see that my DH was really comforted by our neighbour's empathy. I think it is better to try to find the words and say something, rather than say nothing for fear of getting it wrong.
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We've chosen to not replace Daniel. Henrick adored him and is old himself. He may not react well to a little interloper and I don't want to deal with the possible fallout if it did not work out.

Instead we're going to let old Henrick live out his days as A-number one cat around here.😽
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chriscat (((((hugs))))) so sorry for your loss. Arthur was fortunate to have you care so well for him. I think you are right. Merlin might find another kitty too much for him.

Barb - good luck with finding another cat. Pumpkin, the one we lost, was the undisputed alpha animal (including humans) in the house. However, she did adjust to Rocky, and later to Smokey.
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Isthisreallyreal, you are so right about wanting and needing that unconditional love in the household.

And Barb, there's no pressure. You'll know if and when the time is right to bring a new pet into your home.

I think Merlin will stay an only cat now. At 14 he may be a bit old to accept a new pet joining us.
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Chris I am sorry for your loss. Our pets become family members that are integral to our lives.

When I lost my dog I felt like my third man was missing and I had to go get a rescue shepherd 11 days after his unexpected death. When we lost her it was the same thing. We now have 2 rescue shepherds and even though we miss our lost dogs we have that love back in our home.

We know when we get them that they just don't live long enough but, each one brings their own personality and enriches our lives and hearts.

I am glad you have Merlin to comfort you.

Barb: I hope you get the perfect cat that fits in just right.
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Chris, I made my husband promise me he would stay my hand if I tried to get another cat too soon.

My Dumbledore is very much a "king of the castle" (well, king of the small NYC apt.) type. Terrorizes any other cat we've had.

I guess maybe we'll try to adopt from our local shelter provisionally and see how it goes. Two is a good number.

((((Hugs))))
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Thanks Barb. Do you want another cat? Whenever we have been catless in the past, we assumed we would enjoy the freedom from pet responsibilities, but have always caved in and had another rescue cat. Last time I came back with two instead of just one. I am glad of that now. Merlin is a comfort now Arthur has gone.
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ChrisCat, I'm so sorry about Arthur. My grandson is now conspiring to get me another cat...

((((Hugs))))).
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Thanks Send.
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Chriscat,
So very sorry for your loss.
Very sad.
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Thanks Ali and Gershun, I appreciate your kind words. Keeping busy helps, but that empty kitchen is really distressing. I am giving Merlin cat lots of love and I'm trying to think of the many good times we had with Arthur. Losing a pet is devastating but I would rather go through the pain, as I do feel that pets enrich your life in so many ways.
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So sorry Chris for the loss of your Arthur. I know how you are feeling. It's been 3 mths already since we lost our Daniel and our other cat Henrick misses him still.

Just show your remaining kitty lots of love. That's what we do with Henrick.

All the best to you!💝
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Aw, Chriscat, I'm sorry. Time is the only thing, I think. And wishing you the good memories forever. You did well. Be proud of yourself for giving Arthur a great life, as good as you could give him, until the very end. (((hugs)))
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Sorry I haven’t kept up with this thread recently - I’ve been dealing with some family bereavements and just trying to get through each week. Sorry Barb to hear about Sherlock and apologies for the late condolences, I am heartbroken for you. Our pets are such loved members of the family and leave a huge gap when they are gone. I’m very sad to report that we took the decision on Monday to say goodbye to Arthur. He had been declining slowly for some weeks but was still interested in life, until last week when he was less interested in food and going out. His nasal tumour was untreatable, with a poor prognosis of just 3 months from diagnosis. We had reached week 9. Our vet was so compassionate. We spent a final loving weekend with our dear cat, with lots of cuddles and love, before the visit to the vet on Monday. Arthur was very calm, and I think very tired. I held him in my arms and he slipped away gently and peacefully. This week has been so tough. Arthur was such a vocal cat and spent much of his time in the kitchen during the day. I’m finding it very difficult to be in there as I expect to see him on his favourite kitchen chair or on the table outside, letting me know he wants to come in. He was my daytime shadow and he is gone. We are thankful to still have our other cat, Merlin. He is very puzzled though, and is searching in the house for Arthur. I am hoping that we just need time, for the grief to be less raw.
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Barb, I'm sorry about Sherlock... that's tough. I'm sure dealing with Sherlock's decline months after Merlin's earlier this year isn't easy. Wishing you many happy memories of both of them.
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Chris, how is Arthur doing?
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So Sorry about Sherlock Barb! Hugs!
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((((((Hugs)))))) Barb. I am sure Sherlock had a wonderful life with you. Peace to you and good memories.
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So very sorry for your loss of Sherlock, Barb.
😿
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Oh Barb, I am so sorry. It is so difficult to lose a beloved pet.
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Barb, I'm so sorry to learn of this but also know how difficult this decision can be.   It's an emotional moment to recognize it's time to let Sherlock go.    Today and the next days will be sad ones, missing Sherlock, but I hope that memories of your lives together will eventually prevail, and you'll remember all the good times.

I still remember my cats when I find little bits of cat hair in my material stash.  They enjoyed sleeping on the flannel and other warm fabrics.  I don't understand cat hairs on the embroidery skeins though.  Perhaps they were artistically oriented cats.
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After treating Sherlock's kidney failure for several weeks, we took him yo the vet this am for a check. His skin was turning yellow, a clear cut sign of liver failure. We put him down about an hour ago.

Thanks to you all for your support. Stay well.
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Golden, I am hoping that my cat Arthur’s experience will be similar, and that his quality of life will remain good despite his illness progressing. I think the real indicator that things have taken a turn for the worse is when they stop eating, and as you say it is then time to see the vet and agree what’s best. I know that he will get whatever care he needs, when he needs it - better than human care actually, with no delays in getting appointments or long waiting times for treatment.
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Golden, our Daniel died of lung cancer. One day he was fine. Then we noticed him coughing. We took him to the vet and he was diagnosed and five short weeks later he was gone.
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Chris - so sad that your kitty is ill. My cat Toonie (previous to this present one) apparently had cancer of the lungs. I saw him having a bit of "forced" breathing but otherwise he seemed fine. He was 13 and I decided to let him be until he declined more. Then one day he didn't eat so I took him to the vet and it was game over. He had a good quality of life until his last day. It's all any of us can wish for another or ourselves. (((((((hugs)))))
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Chriscat,
There are others who have lost their beloved cats to cancer, just this year.
You can read way back....
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Hello all. I’m hoping someone amongst you cat lovers may be able to help me. One of my cats has in the past month been diagnosed with a rare cancerous tumour in his nose. It is inoperable and sadly terminal. It presented as excessive sneezing, especially when eating. We don’t know how long he has left - it may be months or weeks. The vet has said that thankfully it is painless. As it progresses, my cat could suffer occasional nosebleeds but as long as he is still eating and wanting to go outside we should let him be. We’ve noticed a slow decline in the past few weeks, mostly in that he’s just a bit quieter and takes a bit longer to be up and about first thing in the mornings. I wondered if anyone on the forum had any experience of this kind of condition? Our vet has been wonderful in explaining what we should expect and signs to look out for, but any advice would be most welcome.
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Thx, all.

gershun - the smell is no more, for now anyway.

glad -a UTI crossed my mind but the proximity of the deeds to the removal of Pumpkin's stuff was suspicious. I am waiting to see what happens. Rocky has done this before to send me a message.

ali - I think it is behavioural with Rocky. Fortunately I have hardwood on the top two levels and laminate in the basement which are much easier to clean.

The odd thing in the basement was that neither dd or I could see a puddle. Eventually as dd was sweeping - in bare feet no less - she felt the broom bristles were moist as they brushed her foot after sweeping a certain area, though we still couldn't see wet on the floor. We cleaned that area thoroughly and guess we got it as the pee smell is gone now.

I'm doing a thorough clean and some reorganization in the basement now, a little at a time. Hopefully Rocky will tolerate that. I am airing it out well hoping that the cleanser smell will be gone by bedtime.

My new mattress cover has arrived so there is that to do as well. When I was younger and without cfs/fm, this would not have big deal, of course. I want to rip into it all and get it done, but know that doesn't work for me anymore. So I will go at it slowly and gently. Don't like this part of aging at all. But, hey, I am grateful I can do what I can.
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