Note: Some gifts don't look like gifts based on the torn packaging! The return may be spiritual, physical, emotional, tangible, a lesson learned, etc. Some gifts will not be delivered until a later date, some are on 'lay away', while others, you feel you'd like to return to sender! Still, other gifts just keep on giving. Think about your journey and share your gifts.
There are writers on this forum who's siblings have died while trying to care for a parent, and said parent continued to live on for many more years in assistant living/nursing home. I've seen writers on these forums suddenly disappear.
There are writers on this forum who have had heart attacks or other very serious illnesses while trying to care for their parent(s). You'd be surprised at the number of women who have gotten breast cancer from the stress of being a Caregiver. They may not be writing on Aging Care but I have heard them talk at breast cancer support groups.
I am still trying to get my parents [90+] to update their badly written will from years ago, I dread that my parents won't live to sign a new Will, Trust or POA, and it will be a journey of landmines to straight out. Recently I took them to talk to an Elder Law attorney and my parents do like her which surprised me because of my parents attitude of women as professionals [they should be home having babies].
And for me to move into a retirement village sooner than later. How foolish to live in a huge house that you can no longer take care of, which my parents are still doing.
I've grown stronger and more self reliant by doing all that I dread or hate.
I've gone aware that old age is not necessarily our golden years, nor can we prepare for the unexpected.
I've learned to be more mindful,thankful for every day, every smile or laugh, every moment I have right here, right now in good health and of sound mind.
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Permission granted to look inward for a minute, gift yourself of those special little things that you deserve, and place your guilt on the shelf. I understand. I wish you peace.
Sometimes we get to a point in life where the only gift we can receive will be the one we give ourselves. I am going to have to dream big this Christmas and let my own narcissism rule.
It is really sweet thinking about the spiritual things -- love, patience, etc. But sometimes it's nice to get something tangible. Personally I would like to give myself a clean, uncluttered house with a real bath tub for Christmas.
Non-tangible gifts - are a bit more difficult. Mom and I have always been close and have always gotten along. My patience has improved as Mom has struggled more recently, although I notice it has only improved with her. With other people, I'm very impatient and close to tears.
Still, I've learned so much from this experience:
My faith in God has grown in ways that I didn't know existed. I feel much more spiritual.
I have learn what it means to not sweat the small stuff.
I've learned that people are fragile yet strong and those who are strong must help the fragile ones.
I've learned how to truly treat others as I would have them treat me.
I've learned the true meaning of compassion.
I've learned to not be so judgmental. Everyone has their issues. As it turns out, I don't know it all.
I've learned to ask for help.
I've learned that my health is vital and that if I don't protect my health, it can cause terrible things like dementia and stroke.
Perhaps, the biggest lesson I learned is to appreciate each and every day. We are not guaranteed tomorrow so I try to love every minute, even if I'm overwhelmed.
Oh, I've learned that I must simplify my life. My goal for 2015 is to lighten the load and the stress. I'm working on it. lol
I've learned that if I don't make my life happy, no one else will.
I am thankful for my many blessings, but I never expected my life to turn out this way.
we always expected my oldest sister would care for mom at end of life but oldest sis cant manage a household . her home is a zoo and always in terminal decline .