I've heard that there can be triggers when you start to feel depressed, I'm not sure what they are though. I feel alone in this journey, I have a sister who lives near by but is not proactive in moms care I'm the primary caregiver. My husband helps when he can, don't ask too much of him as he works & very tired when he comes home he has a physical job and I guess I feel it's my responsibility to take care of mom. It's been about 3 years since I've been taking care of mom & it's not getting any easier, it was much easier in the beginning. I quit my job to take care of mom and I don't have a life, I try to involve myself in volunteering but it doesn't fill the void. Sometimes I feel suicidal or I wish I wouldn't wake up...then I wouldn't have to go thru these feelings of depression and anxiety...life seems really tough for me and can't climb out of this feeling of unhappiness. I know I need help but I don't even have the motivation to get it that would mean one more thing for me to do...I know I'm the only one who can help myself, but how other than the obvious...I find myself drinking wine to escape...Anybody have similar issues & how are you coping???
Thanks
Fran
All I can do is tell you, when it's all over you will be glad you made the choice. After all, life has got to get better. Just don't let it get you down too much. Like others have said. Take some time out for yourself when you can. Find something you enjoy doing, and do it. Something for you, not more volunteering. But it that's what makes you happy, then by all means do it. It's just that you have to think of yourself also. Find out just what little lifes pleasures you enjoy, and do them.
You treat it like any kind of depression. I suggest you see some one. Also I've found exercise and meditation to be helpful.
Your feelings of depression are normal. You gave up alot to help your mother and I think you would do it again. I would try to get paid home health aides to come in for regular shifts so you can get some much need sleep and reconnect a bit with friends. Ask the doctor if your mom can get some home health aide coverage via medicare.
Having a drink of wine isn't bad if it lets you relax a bit. I did it. Of course, you don't want to become dependent on it but I doubt if you will.
Sometimes I would rent movies comedies and it helped both me and my dad.
I suspect the three yrs of caregiving has run you down physically as well as mentally. Lack of sleep for a long period of time does depress a person, I was up every hour and half each night since 2009 and it took a toll. If you can get consistent sleep things will improve mentally. There is nothing wrong with hiring a home health aide to stay with your mom overnight.
If you have the funds, concern having a live in aide to reduce the amount of caregiving you are doing. It should reduce the stress level.
I woud try to get some caregiver counseling (one on one) to try to deal with the depression. Hopefully some mental health or religion person who has been a caregiver and knows the exhaustion factor we face as caregivers.
Good luck and remember you do your best but a lot of the decline in an elderly parent is part of the aging process. None of us can turn back the hands of time for our love ones.
I've been through it (except for feeling suicidal or wishing that I wouldnt wake up, but I've heard of others who have) and yes, there are triggers. I would switch from being depressed to being very anxious when I'd experience one of them.
Please dont drink because it'll only add to the depression and anxiety.
Its important that you try to contact everyone you can think of right now to help you in the effort of being provided with some quality respite time. As you speak with people, be it family members or friends, be upfront with them about what you are going through and ask if there's anything they can do to help.
I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that one of those calls will prove to be the key to finding some relief for you.