My widowed mom was physically, mentally, emotionally, & sexually abusive of us five children when we were kids. My dad was on sea duty until I was 9 and so not around. When he was there, mom comandeered his time & attention. Later, he became what seems like manic/depressive with long bouts of silently sitting in the dark alternating with immature, bubbly giddiness. I saw my mom abuse him, too: she would attack him physically and say mean, untrue things. Now he is gone, and so is my older sister-- which leaves me and three younger, estranged siblings to deal with my aging mom. The worst part is I either feel disconnected from my emotions re: her, or I feel resentment and anger. I am a responsible person, and I feel guilty that I can't manage my feelings about the past. It's like I can't grow past all that misery and recognize that she doesn't have that power anymore. Any words of wisdom here?
What is the current situation? Is your mother in need of care? Who is providing it?