Didn't realize how easy life was before dad. When worries consist of simple things like what to cook for dinner, homework or as Complicated as my child's adolescent emotions, fears, worrying about alcohol, drugs, and boyfriends. Oh how easy life was then. Ive always been closest to my father. I'm his eldest. He was always there for me and respected me in a way. But Dad has always been chauvinistic and a abusive man to his girlfriends and baby mommas. When he first came to live with us 5 yrs ago he was only 57 yrs old. There wasn't much signs then. Just small stuff. Which the family- his siblings and mine just kind of wrote it off as him being dramatic. Then he stopped showering, became verbally abusive towards me and my daughter. Everything became a fight (arguments). Us against him. Husband and I. Daughter and I. Life got so dark, negative and hateful. After almost a year He decided to move back in with his girlfriend and my brother who was 12 at the time. You would think, yay. But no. my Family and I were suffering the side effects. I was hardly eating and lost 30 pounds in less then two months and was so caught up in my own misery that I almost missed the signs that my baby and husband were going through it too. Dad became homeless and was living at a park, Eating out of trash cans and being beaten on. When my sister found him. He was in bad shape, Mentally and physically. He hasnt been the same since. Having no other options, he is now back living with us. We have been through many things these last few years. Had to make lots of changes in our life for health and safety. His, ours and those around us. Life isn't so "easy" anymore. The four of us- We all gave something up to this disease. Our freedom. my dad lost his because of drug and alcohol abuse. My husband because of his love and dedication to me. My daughter also because of love. Me because of duty and love for my dad. This is not the path I want to walk but I'm on it. despite all the pain his past decisions in his life has caused to me and mine. I am determined to keep my family together, be happy and try to care for him the best that I can.
Now mt husband's family is completely fractured, coming from a very dysfunctional family, and we were the only ones who stepped up when my MIL passed away, to look after the Old Man who had never lived on his own in his whole life, and as afraid to even try. Plus, after he moved in with us, it became clear to me that he was the reason why their family was so dysfunctional in the first place, as he is a selfish Narcissist, who is only interested in his own wellbeing before anything else! I does make it difficult to live with, but after coming on here several years ago, I learned SO much, and really appreciate the feedback and the knowledge from the Best, and those who have worked in the trenches!
So now thatvwe know that you are IN IT TO WIN IT!, Lol, and you mentioned that your Dad has mobility issues, my suggestion to you is to get PT and OT in to make him as strong as possible, and o make your home as Safe as possible. Remember, you are getting older too, and trying to care for a fully grown adult who is falling and can't get up, is a B*#@H on your back! He might finght you on it, but keep at it, as he can prolong his mobility if he keeps his leg muscle strength up! Stretchy bands, those stationary exercise pedals, where he can sit and "cycle", and a Rolator Walker helps A Lot, giving him stability, plus a place to sit, should he get tired. Anything that will keep him walking on his own, is going to give you relief in the long run.
My FIL got very lazy, after he quit driving, and was just itting around ll day watching TV, but PT got him understanding that it is a USE IT OR LOSE IT proposition, and if he ends up ed bound, then neither my husband nor I could physically continue to are for him at home due to our own physical disabilities, and he would end up in a nursing home, no if ands or buts. Now he walks the circle of our home, several laps, 3-4 times a day, and it really has kept him much more stable. That's it for now, I hope this gives you some helpful ideas! Up to this point, we aren't dealing with Dementia, snd I know his puts a lot of added pressure on you, and I'm really sorry about that!