Didn't realize how easy life was before dad. When worries consist of simple things like what to cook for dinner, homework or as Complicated as my child's adolescent emotions, fears, worrying about alcohol, drugs, and boyfriends. Oh how easy life was then. Ive always been closest to my father. I'm his eldest. He was always there for me and respected me in a way. But Dad has always been chauvinistic and a abusive man to his girlfriends and baby mommas. When he first came to live with us 5 yrs ago he was only 57 yrs old. There wasn't much signs then. Just small stuff. Which the family- his siblings and mine just kind of wrote it off as him being dramatic. Then he stopped showering, became verbally abusive towards me and my daughter. Everything became a fight (arguments). Us against him. Husband and I. Daughter and I. Life got so dark, negative and hateful. After almost a year He decided to move back in with his girlfriend and my brother who was 12 at the time. You would think, yay. But no. my Family and I were suffering the side effects. I was hardly eating and lost 30 pounds in less then two months and was so caught up in my own misery that I almost missed the signs that my baby and husband were going through it too. Dad became homeless and was living at a park, Eating out of trash cans and being beaten on. When my sister found him. He was in bad shape, Mentally and physically. He hasnt been the same since. Having no other options, he is now back living with us. We have been through many things these last few years. Had to make lots of changes in our life for health and safety. His, ours and those around us. Life isn't so "easy" anymore. The four of us- We all gave something up to this disease. Our freedom. my dad lost his because of drug and alcohol abuse. My husband because of his love and dedication to me. My daughter also because of love. Me because of duty and love for my dad. This is not the path I want to walk but I'm on it. despite all the pain his past decisions in his life has caused to me and mine. I am determined to keep my family together, be happy and try to care for him the best that I can.
Could any family member come for a day, and give you a break from all of the anxiety you seem to have. The one thing I've learned from taking care of my mom years ago, you need to find a way to have time for yourself, a hobby, reading, praying any thing that puts your mind at peace. . Caregiving can be tough, but you are blessed to have a supportive husband and a caring daughter. Take care and God Bless.