My mom is 88 she lives near me. It is my responsibility to get her breakfast lunch and dinner oh and spend the night, dr appointments errands the list goes on. I have three sisters and a brother. They pitch in when they can. I have been doing this for six yrs. I am angry frustrated depressed and hateful. My problems stem from my mom wanting no one else in her house but family and she does not want to move. Therefore it's put on me. My siblings pitch in when it's convenient for them. I'm beyond burned out. I want to walk out.
I dread the time when my parents can't help themselves. I will need to dig in my heels... they will have to hire Caregivers, call Meals on Wheels, or move to a place that would be more elder friendly. My parents would have to do that anyway if they outlive me :P
This is something that really bothers me when it comes to aging parents. Quite often they don't want to move and don't want anyone coming in. They expect one of their children to do it all. This is too much for one child, so the parents need to bend. If you provide all she needs, your mother won't have to bend. You need to let her know what your limits are and use other options to fill in the gaps.