Yes, at 1 a.m. it's now Christmas Day. All I remember about last Christmas is getting a phone call at midnight on Christmas eve from the NH that my mother had fallen, cut her finger and was at the nearby ER getting a couple of stitches.
I visited her the next day and got a blast because I didn't run to hold her hand ... um, it was midnight, I live in the middle of nowhere and there were 3 or 4' snow drifts. I could expect no more as she'd been the mother from h*ll my whole life. When you grow up with it and friends and family are kept away, that's all you know.
She passed in September and I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that she'd probably been mentally ill life long. The hatred and bitterness is subsiding such that I can only feel sorry for her, a life wasted.
I just wanted to drop in here on Christmas Day. So many of you are going through so very much that "Merry Christmas" just doesn't cut it. Wherever you are I wish you peace this day and hope for better times in the year ahead. Dog Bless you all ... and that's not a typo! :)
Book that is so sad. My handyman/helper guy was here today.. He's the handyman at my late mother's NH where there are 60 residents. Christmas day a few who were mobile and with it were taken out. Some had visitors, many not but the staff went above and beyond to make Christmas. Anyone who was alone the staff chipped in as a Secret Santa to get a gift ... and these people don't make a lot of money. Warms my heart. I don't do religion. It's all about how you treat others on a daily basis.
My caregiving role is over. Why am I still here? I guess because my experiences may just help someone else.
My family celebrated xmas as usual on our long front porch. Dad's hospital bed is in the livingroom, in which the porch is just outside his window, and the door. He can hear us talking but no one came in to say hi or greet him, other than fave sis and her 2 daughters. He was complaining that no one said, "Merry xmas" to him. Sad, that my whole family and their family can celebrate xmas right outside his window but refuse to come in to at least say hi.
Only fave sis got him xmas gifts - which he appreciated it very much. He immediately wore the cap, and told me to hide the rest of the gifts before someone 'steals' it.
The four cats, Charlie, Pixie, Katie & Lucy, are all asleep and the dogs, Sue and Ashy, are snoozing too but with one ear open for a piece of turkey :) I'm going to stoke the fire, put my feet up for a while with a glass of hooch and be so terribly thankful for a quiet and peaceful Christmas.
Dog Bless you all ... wags and slobbery kisses lol
Happy holidays everyone!
I'm glad you are beginning to find some peace with your relationship with your mother. When I read your posts (and some others here as well) I always felt bad for her and you, both entangled in the bitterness of such a wasted live. My Christmas wish for you, sleep now in heavenly peace :)