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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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... thinking of some kind of 'comedy' we should share on this sight... even if it's a comedy of errors... (to lighten our load)... Anyone have some good ones to share?... (Captain?)
my favorite dirty joke requires an hour of hard work to write. maybe a simpler one would get us by. a drunk staggers home one night and falls into bed wheras in spite of his inebriation his wife asks him if hed like to get it on. his reply wasnt going to be an asset to him in the long run but he said he might as well cause he was going to catch h*** when he got home anyway.
i saw a cartoon one time of two couples ordering dinner in a high end resteraunt. one customer said " ill have the huge wad of coronary causing beef stuffed into your aorta till your heart stopas plate " . all the others agreed than mmm - mm, sounds great, me too . lol.
Here's my attempt... Hope it gives some a chuckle...
Hard of Hearing Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart mummer and be careful."
Mom has been really been "dishing" it out to me. We have a local sandwich shop that sometimes will name and create a special sandwich for someone. I suggested this: the menu sandwich should be/read "Bite Me Bliss" Roasted Red & Green Peppers, Slices of Sweet Onion, Big Mouth Bites of Virginia Baked Ham and 6 Extra Crisp Slices of Bacon on a Toasted Hard Roll seasoned with a splash of Italian Dressing. Sooo good, but not for the "Faint of Heart"!
Her favorite foods & her last name is Bliss! And I can't even count how many times I have thought while having it dished out to me, "Bite Me"!!!!!!
" anything goes " right, tell the moderators that.. we'll try. A lady visits her doc and says that her hubby is having rage issues. every evening he gets madder and madder until hes beginning to scare her. doc advised her to try taking a sip of water when he gets bent and gently swishing it back and forth in her mouth until he calms down. in a month the lady told the doc that the results were unbelievable and shed like an explanation. doc told her that while she was swishing the water back and forth in her mouth , her mouth was in a closed position. lol. thats the closest ill come to a sexist joke because i dont believe in one gender being superior to the other.. funny, nonetheless..
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Hard of Hearing
Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart mummer and be careful."
the menu sandwich should be/read "Bite Me Bliss" Roasted Red & Green Peppers, Slices of Sweet Onion, Big Mouth Bites of Virginia Baked Ham and 6 Extra Crisp Slices of Bacon on a Toasted Hard Roll seasoned with a splash of Italian Dressing. Sooo good, but not for the "Faint of Heart"!
Her favorite foods & her last name is Bliss! And I can't even count how many times I have thought while having it dished out to me, "Bite Me"!!!!!!
we'll try.
A lady visits her doc and says that her hubby is having rage issues. every evening he gets madder and madder until hes beginning to scare her. doc advised her to try taking a sip of water when he gets bent and gently swishing it back and forth in her mouth until he calms down. in a month the lady told the doc that the results were unbelievable and shed like an explanation. doc told her that while she was swishing the water back and forth in her mouth , her mouth was in a closed position. lol. thats the closest ill come to a sexist joke because i dont believe in one gender being superior to the other.. funny, nonetheless..