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Golden,
Sorry for your loss, and all the anniversary of death sadness that brings.
As well as living with his absence all these years. ❤️️💔❤️️
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Staying Home. It is all that I can do to make a contribution to control Covid.

I understand how we can get confused by the varying 'advice' coming from the government and 'experts'.

I go back to the advice that first came out regarding the quarantine. And, I can rely on my education that taught sterile techniques, how illnesses are spread, and other helpful procedures.

Now is not the time to relax your quarantine protocols. imo.

Recommit to hand washing and wearing a mask. Time to find out what 6 ft. away looks like. When someone is being nice and holding a door open with a smile (by standing in the doorway!), be brave enough to accept criticism and do not enter. Take 6 steps back! imo. Stand your ground until they leave.

Be safe.
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Golden,

I can’t imagine what you went through. That would be harder than anything else for me too.

Again, I am so very sorry.
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Ginger,

I know about the struggles of infertility. I had a bazillion complications. I had a four hour surgery for endometriosis that I signed a release for medical students to attend and film.

I had three failed in vitro fertilization attempts. I tried for years to conceive.

We adopted our first child, which I always wanted to do, even before the doctor told me that I couldn’t conceive a baby.

We were very happy as a family. All my dreams came true when I first looked into my baby’s eyes. We were overjoyed being parents to our beautiful daughter.

Then seven years later, out of the blue without any help from fertility doctors I got pregnant!

It was a high risk pregnancy. It was a long, bumpy road but we made it.

I am doubly blessed with both of my beautiful daughters!
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Golden I am sorry about the loss of your son. I do not know such grief, but I did lose a baby and become unable to have another pregnancy which nearly destroyed me. I lost years in sorrow. Some days I think if I found my way out of that darkness, I must be able to find my way out of anything.
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Need and Alva - thanks for the support re my son. He was 23 and was assaulted and died two days later from head injuries. Child loss brings pain on a different level than anything else I have experienced, including a lifetime of having a narcissistic mother. One comfort is that he will not have to bury me or his dad. He was the one of my children who would have be hit hardest by the loss of a parent.

Alva - I am not avoiding the shot - my nearby drugstore offers them. I keep getting the sniffles which are probably allergies but they want you free of those before you come in. Thankfully I don't have any underlying medical issues and never had the flu very badly but still I intend to get to when I can. The labs here are closed to appointments. I saw the other day you could book at the last minute for a walk in which is odd. I have to call them but again wait till this attack of the sniffles is over. Health is so important.

ff - I can well imagine that your sig other is affected by his job and by seeing those who don't wear masks and social distance even while burying a victim of covid. I don't understand why some people don't get it in the face of such overwhelming evidence.
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Speaking of jobs, my sig-other is busy at his employment, 2.5 days per weeks, which he wishes he wasn't. He works for a small cemetery, a post-retirement job to keep himself busy.

The funeral homes usually have families limit themselves to 10 people at the cemetery with masks and social distancing but that doesn't always happens. Sig-other will see crowds of people, most without masks within the group, and the person being buried had died from covid. Sadly, he's sold graves to families who lost an infant to covid.... to families who lost a teen to covid.... young people in their 20's, 30's, and 40's... recently a young fellow in his 50's who has 6 children.... and the elderly.

It's taking an emotional toll on him.
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Golden, so sorry to hear of your loss of your son. I agree with NeedsHelp, it is one of the most difficult things we can ever be faced with.
Get that flu shot, please. Even if you have to pay to do it at Walgreens. The one friend almost lost last year was not from anything but H1N1, the regular OLD flu. He was someone with underlying conditions that put down his immune system, and was actually afraid of flu shots, didn't get. Was on ventilator for a month, had to learn to walk and talk basically when off, and many times everyone including his wife, herself dealing with Ovarian Cancer, believed he would not make it. We all forget how many REGULAR FLU deaths we have in our country every year. We were lucky with Kaiser in that we could "drive through" in several spots in city.Just drive up and get that shot in our car.
And yes, appointments now just for regular blood work is a pain; only thing I can say is if we have our health everything else can be dealt with.
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Golden,

I didn’t know that you lost a son. I am so very sorry. No parent should ever have to bury their child. We expect them to bury us, not the other way around.
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I'm lucky too, Alva by being retired and living a pretty quiet life anyway. I agree with exercising personal responsibility re the virus and I do. I can't say it is wrecking my life, but it has presented some new challenges - isolation other than seeing my dd once in a while, not visiting with dd's family, missing the trips south I used to do, no meals out, doing all my shopping online, including groceries, doing my hair and nails myself, having to pull myself up by my bootstraps more and find a few new ways of coping. I am having trouble getting in for a flu shot and some lab tests but...

I've lived through worse. Losing my youngest son was/is worse and there is no vaccine against that. Having a narcissistic mother for 80 years of my life was/is worse. Both these things have affected and, in fact, shaped my life profoundly, and still do. I am anticipating that this virus will be a bad memory in a year or so which will fade Maybe I am too optimistic but I am hoping for that. Of course for anyone who has lost a loved one to the virus their life will be affected forever.
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Ginger May, I was touched by your response. I keep saying to my partner how lucky he and I are to be comfortably retired. We ARE at more risk, but it is easier to stay home. Yes, we miss dining out. Yes, I miss my bookstore browse and my junk shopping and my bus trips to this and that. Our family being able to get together. All that.
As far as the way forward and the "experts", but be honest if we aren't paying attention to what this virus is, to when we last saw its like in 1918, to how to protect ourselves from it (not completely but a WHOLE LOT) , then to me that is more on us than on the experts. I am a liberal, and pretty much we enjoy whining about stuff a lot; but to me, whining in the face of a virus is an exercise in futility. I know what to do to protect myself. Now, Mr. Virus may get round that, but not easily. So I mask, I hand wash, I social distance, and I don't gather with others. That is to say I take responsibility more than putting it off on the expert. What I want from them is the PPE my medical workers must have.
As I said, I am lucky. No job in jeopardy, my kid's jobs not, either. No one trying to kick me out of my home because I can't pay rent. Most of the country isn't as lucky as I am.
But as to the experts, and the politicians, I only count on them to reassure, to lead by telling us to mask up, to get the best folks they can on committee, to make our own PPE, to figure a way to deliver a vaccine when the great minds get one. They can do no more than that, really.
This is tough, no question, but for me so much less tough than for so many others. This old nurse wishes somehow she was in the thick of it, but at 78 I had better not be. For me it amounts to the things I listed above; will be eating a lot of turkey on my own while family does the same in four different places, but so far that, and the fear of the whole thing, is the worst of it.
And how bizarre it is, isn't it? Almost dystopian. I worry for our economy going forward. For jobs, for the failure of like 80% of the restaurants in my city; and all dependent on them for a living.
All take care.
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((((GingerMay))))
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Thank you AlvaDeer for making this post. I came here this morning totally freaked out and browsed the boards until I found this. Thanks.
So, how is it wrecking my life? In every way. It has reduced my ability to make money and have a job, it has reduced my ability to schedule an appointment with my doctor until several months, has reduced my ability to get work done on my house, supply chains no longer have items I always ordered, stores I loved have gone out of business, restaurants I regularly ate at are closed. It took away something from my kids. My life is gone. I am starting all over at mid-life.

The worst part to me is the mental toll. I feel an unspoken pressure for all of us to suck up our losses, ignore it, how can we be so frivolous? I continue to feel like nobody ever put forward someone to be a logical voice of reason, no plan of action we can hang our hopes on, no tentative path forward. It seemed when "experts" spoke, they just expressed disdain of others, and provoked fear by stating already known facts about the disease. There was never any discussion of a plan forward that would benefit us collectively. The "experts" seemed scattered in every direction and they still are. It is an epic clown show. I have no confidence anyone will turn this in a direction that benefits us collectively. I no longer think that is their objective.
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Today at 21.3%
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Stacy, that mindset? All I can say is "Darwinian". As I said, I now wear the mask for ME. And no, that nurse is a New Yorker. She came back because she felt called back to help. And she will remain there helping despite what she is seeing as she is contracted.
Here in CA Gov Newsom is way too smart to call back old nurses who wouldn't have a CLUE what to do. Time goes real fast in medicine. I could give shots; other than that, hee hee, well, bedpan duty. So far we aren't seeing shortages, but we soon will I would guess.
It is what it is. Things don't go smoothly in pandemics. We will go on. I love the Annie Dillard quote that goes as follows:

"We live as if we weren't as sand, and each of us as ephemeral as clouds. We live as if there hadn't been a hundred thousand generations here before us, and another one hundred thousand were not still to come."
I love that. For all we think we individually matter, we are as sand.
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Alva, not to be contrary but I live in what is Central Michigan. I grew up dead center if you put a dot in the middle of your palm, I moved 30 minutes from there, closer to the bay which is the curve of your hand and palm.

Two dams broke earlier this year. You can look at mlive.com, the online newspaper at the drone activity. The 2 lakes dumped into Dows containment pond destroyed everything. Someone who lives in a very big white home in DC has held up FEMA funds because he likes to fight with the govenor. People in this area do not have a place to live much less money to buy for masks. Then there are robberies, do you go to stores that have signs that say, if you wear a mask we shoot because we assume your a robber. No, I do not think so.

Do you know that if you were a nurse and retired, the govenor called you back to work months ago? My mom even got a letter.

Do you understand we have a legislature that sued the govenor, she lost every power she had to keep us safe? Her EOs are unconstitutional. You have some whack job lawyer named Katherine Henry, who argued the case making YouTube videos that stoke the flames. Watch them, she is nuts and people believe it. Do you know Air Force One had a superspreader a mile from my house? People could not wear masks to get in.

Some traveling nurse has no clue the mindset here.
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Daughter of 1930,, at my huge hospital we are seeing a big jump in numbers , but they are not as sick as they were in March. Our main symptom now seems to be a terrible headache. And now thanks to the CDC we are being told that if we are with out symptoms we can continue to work even if we test positive, Yes,, but they won;t test us unless we have symptoms . You bet I want a positive caregiver taking care of my family! Not!!
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I'm glad all of you just had mild symptoms Daughterof1930 🤗
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Heard a traveling nurse who came back into nursing simply to treat covid patients. She has a contract now in Michigan. Was on NPR segment today telling about how hard it is to be in the hospital, where staff is burning out and they cannot give good enough care because of short staffing, and to have to hear people she is intubating for the ventilator crying and saying they didn't take it seriously. They didn't believe it existed. Then she walks out to go home and half the populace she passes are not masked. I cannot imagine the frustration of being in nursing now.
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I’ve been hesitant to share much about our experience as it’s been much like Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Scarlett Letter, which I find beyond ridiculous. But I’ll dive in and hope for the best here. Due to someone related by marriage to a relative of mine being completely careless, during the time our family had just gone through the loss of my sweet dad last summer, Covid ran through our family. We all had it, including several high risk relatives and elderly people. There were about 12 of us total. 3 had fever for a couple of days, everyone was congested and unusually tired, some had coughs and sore throats. For me, I was tired and felt like I had a cold. Anyone we told about it treated us like crap, I don’t even know how to describe it, but it was needlessly rude. No one went looking for Covid and no one tried to pass it around. It was passed before anyone knew it was there. Within a week it was gone. I very much recognize how blessed we were in it. As far as testing, after being initially tested we were consistently told there was no need for retesting, there was zero follow up from any medical professional, no attempt at any contact tracing, just nothing. We were very much on our own. I finally initiated a telemedicine call with our family doctor who told me all was good and it any of us ever got it again, it would be much milder. It was already mild. Again, I know it isn’t that way for everyone. I throughly hate that a sickness has become a political football, and all the controversy that’s taken the place of kindness and compassion for those dealing with it. I think we’ll one day look back on this with regret at many of the ways we handled ourselves
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MJ1929,

Wishing your mom all the best in her facility regarding Covid. Hoping her wound heals soon.

I too am hoping for more coming this January, transparency and a better plan with the new administration.

The end of Covid can’t come soon enough!
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My mother's place had seven staff members and 10 residents come down with it in June. I think about three of the residents died. My mother didn't catch it, and I attribute that to the fact that she has a private room.

Keeping my fingers crossed it doesn't go through again. She's fighting a wound infection now, and I don't know if she'd sail through everything a second time.

I'm looking forward to more consistent messaging coming from the new administration, but January 20 seems like years away at this point.
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Today was interesting, since you either love or hate the govenor and all her powers were stripped. The CEOs of the 8 major health care systems held a televised press conference about how bad it is and measures taken. Maybe people will listen to them or maybe it is wishful thinking.
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My area, the spike is frightening. Over the last week, 19.6% percent positive, that was on Monday, last report which is supposed to be updated daily. Yesterday on the news, 75 teachers in this school district, tested positive. They are back to online learning.

Next door neighbor tested positive on Tuesday. Now family is under quarantine. Neighbor's wife now with mild symptoms thought about not being tested. Don't know if she will or not. So, how accurate are the numbers? Are they really double since spouses often don't get tested since spouse has it, they must also have it? And they have two kiddos are they assumed positive and included in the numbers?

Next door neighbor is very good friends with a member of one of my committees. I asked that neighbor to zoom the meeting earlier this week because we don't have enough space in the room. Now thank goodness I did that, otherwise everyone else there would have been exposed. Another member did not attend, he had a "cold" but I doubt he was tested.

The way of the world. Those that feel it is a hoax and those that think it will never get them, as in the neighbors case.

The best we can do is to take all precautions for ourselves. You cannot depend on others. Stay safe all and do your part.
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I was thinking about how I've changed since the pandemic started. I am now quite selfish. I have done the right things for months now, and am just sick and tired of the virus deniers. My school system decided they know better than the national experts, and have 3' of space between desks and will allow up to 44 kids/school bus.

I don't go out much, and our office has become part of our bubble, since our 3 employees are still teleworking. If I have to go inside anywhere other than our office (which is rare; we do grocery pickup), I wear an N95 with a cloth mask on top of that (mostly so I don't get comments re the N95).

I want to get the vaccine. I hope we don't give it away to other countries until every American and German (collaborated with Pfizer) who wants to gets vaccinated.
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I was in the hospital yesterday. I really did not want to go but I had a possible blood clot (I’m at risk for them). I am home now, but now I wait (what is it 14 days?) to see if I have Covid. There was a lady in next room coughing pretty bad, so I am a little worried 😟
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The schools here opened on October 30th, were closed again November 6th due to Covid clusters. The health dept has said there are so many cases that they are not able to notify people exposed or give test results in a timely manner. The state rolled out a phone app where if you test positive, you put in a pin and it notifies people around you. The problem is it only works over bluetooth and you need to trust others to be responsible. Covid has shown me how we as a country are not prepared.
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It is hard enough keeping safe for myself.
But how will I protect my husband and myself when he does not have the mind to practice safety? Does it have to fall on me to say he cannot go around talking to store clerks only two feet away, or hugging someone goodbye who is not wearing a mask?

I have asked what is his plan for social distancing, no answer. I am just worn out now.
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It’s depressing! Anxiety is rising again. I become exhausted just thinking about it. Only one thing on my mind which is, when will it end?
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For 10 years I worked for a small commercial real estate company that had been in business for over 50 years. It was just my boss who was in his 80's and could run circles around anyone half his age, and myself, also a senior. Our Agents all worked from home regularly. We shut the office in March as other offices in the building were doing the same thing because of the virus.

On a Monday in April, my boss was playing golf.... on that Wednesday he was in the hospital.... on that Friday he passed from Covid-19. It happened so quickly.

I remember conversations in February and March about the virus and the boss thought it was a media hoax... then he thought in April it will be going away... that the scientist didn't know anything. I am still in shock. It was so hard coming back to the office to shut down the business forever.

We use to joke that we wouldn't retire unless it came time that we needed Uber to get us to and from work :)

Well, I am ready for the second wave, I finally found a can of Lysol after 11 months :P Too bad other companies, besides Clorox, weren't making this very important product. It's crazy having to wait this long because it was always out of stock.
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