My dad is 64 with a spinal cord injury he has had for 20 years now. He is not military. He does live in Colorado where through Medicaid you can hire your own health care workers instead of an agency. Sounds good but he can't find anyone who has a car, or is reliable. So his one health care lady has left after back surgery. So he has no reliable help. He has nurses coming to tend his wounds on his heel. He keeps peeing his pants. I went last weekend. I live 2 hrs away. I shop make meals for freezer. He also needs to move. Landlord wants to fix and sell house. He told my dad last May. My dad can't find anything in his budget that He likes or has room for his stuff. I've talked till I'm blue. I've come up with realitic ideas. He has to have it his way. Now he is 6 days again with no help so no bowel program. It's hard to look forward to the weekend. I'm really tired of him not taking care of himself. He tells me healthcare agencies are no good. He had one once. He can't boss them or tell inappropriate jokes. He was hoping my brother would get paroled so he could come live with him and help him. He was denied. I'm glad I don't want to see my brother fall back into old habbits at dads. Of course I'd like to see him well and free at some point. Dad only sees it from his point of view. I've talked with his case worker before and I've been told its his choice. Nobody is forcing him to live like this. My dad has no money. I help where I can buying groceries. But I can't buy him a place or land to put trailer. He won't move closer to me or will lose state money. I'm just so tired of having the same convo with him. He is just getting worse. I love and try to help but im tired. Thx for listening.
I hate to say this. I only mean it as a wake up call. I think you have become part of the problem.
You are wringing your hands and pacing the floors and somehow making dad think you are going to pull a rabbit out of the hat and make it where he doesn’t have to pay attention. Much less move.
You need to back away. Way away. As in don’t go there.
He isn’t going to stop procrastinating until you stop propping him up.
STOP IT. Yes, I was speaking pretty loud there.
He has been given notice. There are laws. He either obeys the laws or he pays the consequences. Quite frankly it would be easier on you long term if the county or whichever entity handles an eviction came and put his “ stuff” out.
If you don’t have the legal standing to move him then back away. You are doing this to yourself. Don’t go back until you are there to direct the movers. You probably shouldn’t even do that. Right now you are just helping him tread water.